Forwards
by orangeyhairedimmortal
Summary: "If something happens and I end up having to grow from a baby, will you give me a new identity?" "Colonel, I don't think it will come to that but if it did, then I will do as you ask. You will always be my superior." That's the promise that Riza made in BACKWARDS to Roy when he had regressed to a child. What if they didn't get to serum to change him back? How would his life be?
1. Chapter 1

**this starts off from ch. 19 of backwards. the first part is pretty much the chapter but the ending is where things are changed. enjoy!**

 **and please thank love_toshiro_dragon for the wonderful idea! thanks for letting me use it and I hope I use it well!**

* * *

"It's not use, Ed, you're too weak to get it done." Riza said from the ground.

Edward turned to her, fire in his eyes and also anger.

"Are you trying to say I'm too _old_?!" he growled.

"Precisely… Your body is not cut out for this anymore. Besides, why don't you just make the bars softer to they can be bent?"

"That's what I've _been_ doing, but they won't budge at all."

"Maybe you're not strong enough." Riza got up and went to him. "Do it again and let me see if I can do something."

"Hello?"

The two of them stood still for a second, wondering if either heard the voice or not.

"Hello? Lieutenant Hawkeye? Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"Yes?" Riza said, leery.

A light at the end of the hallway began to get closer to them and they were surprised to find Dr. Striker holding a lantern up and coming toward them.

"Dr. Striker." She said with a frown.

"Hurry, we don't have much time. I happened to snatch the key from that young fellow. If we hurry, we can get out of here."

"Wait, we have to save the Colonel." Edward said.

Dr. Striker looked at him and did a double take.

"Fullmetal? Is that you?"

"Yeah, I got injected with your freaky serum."

"Oh my…" He unlocked the door and it swung open with ease. "Quickly, follow me."

He led them up the hallway and into the main area. As they ran across it, Edward thought he heard the sound of a baby crying. He stopped in the middle of the room and closed his eyes, listening. He heard it again and finally heard it coming from the right.

"Edward, where are you going?" Riza seethed.

"I'm rescuing the Colonel, or did you forget that?"

"I didn't forget but if we call for backup we can have a better chance at it."

"Then you can call for backup. I won't let the Colonel waste another minute in a body he can't stand to be in. I understand him so much better now. Hey, after this, _you_ had better get me back to normal." Edward growled at Dr. Striker.

He ran off and Riza looked at the doctor as he watched the boy leave.

"You have a lot of explaining to do, Doctor."

"And I will gladly give it to you. Is it alright to leave him to saving your superior? As much as I hate to say it, he is old now… even if he were normal, he'd be too young."

"You don't know him like I do. Although I'm afraid for his condition now…" She sighed. "I can't leave him like that."

"Then I'll come with you."

"You can't die, Dr. Striker."

"Then what would you have me do, Lieutenant?"

Riza would have given him her code but knew that it was too risky. She had a weird feeling that she really shouldn't even trust the doctor now.

"Fine, come on then."

They headed where Edward had ran off to.

* * *

Edward stopped to catch his breath and swallowed. _This being old shit is for later, Edward. Pull yourself together…_ he growled to himself. He stood up, popping his back and began to run again toward the cries of the baby he knew was his superior. When he finally got to the place where he was crying, all he found was a microphone there, the sounds of the crying coming from there.

"Shit." Was all he said as he heard the sound of animal noises.

"Well, well, it looks like the old man fell for it." a condescending voice echoed from the microphone. "I would have thought that the Fullmetal Alchemist was smarter than this… then again, your ears aren't what they used to be…"

Edward just smirked and looked around for a moment, getting ready for what was to come.

"Don't try to fight it, Old Man. You can't possibly fight in your condition."

"How about you stop trying to mock me and come down here and see how much stamina I _really_ have left. I may look different but I'm still the same on the inside, just like the Colonel. Do you really think I'd go down without a fight?"

"Oh dear, then you must be mistaken."

The sound of heels tapping on stone made a distant echo as well as a crying baby. The animal sounds seemed to stop and Edward braced for an attack. Instead, all he found was a beautiful black dressed woman, her boobs provocatively showing, as she held the Colonel, who was crying as was now his usual. She gave him a smirk and looked at him.

"Well, aren't you pretty sight." Edward said with a smirk. "Nice tattoo."

"Thank you…"

"So how am I mistaken?"

"You said that your Colonel was still the same inside. In fact, he is just as moldable as when he was born. Once we kill you two, we're going to brain wash him and then we're going to brain wash him more and more until he is an adult again –with the help of the serum- and he will not remember the loyalty of his little lapdog or the loyalty of his subordinates. He will be ours to control because we will have been _all he's ever known_."

"You can't take away what memories he already has. He will just remember them and know that what you say is false."

"True, but he won't remember them _correctly_. We weren't really expecting to use him at all but when we couldn't figure out a way to silence him without killing him, for he's a very formidable asset to the cause, Envy took his own action in that lab. At first it sounded stupid but when the plan evolved more, it was the best course of action. He'll have his old memories, but we will be planting betrayal in them, telling him they are false, what he thinks he knows isn't true. He'll have a time understanding it but we'll help him along. In the end, the result is the same: a perfect pawn."

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Edward growled, clapping and making his automail extend.

And then it fell off.

Edward yelled and looked at it in confusion.

"Oh my, it looks like metal grows old too… Looks like your gears are rusted."

 _It works **inanimately** too?!_ Edward yelled in his head, looking at his rusted inside automail. The outside had been made of some other metal that wouldn't be susceptible to environmental factors, taking a long time to rust in general, but the insides were regularly metal.

Obnoxious crying caught Edward's gaze as Lust held Roy up by the ankle, his arms flailing in fright and Edward's anger blazed.

"Hold him _correctly_!" he yelled.

"I don't take orders from little old men." She said, extending her nails.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE?!" he snarled, running toward her.

* * *

As Riza and Dr. Striker walked along, there was a low BOOM and suddenly the sprinklers overhead came on, drenching them.

"There's a fire. We must hurry."

Riza nodded, following the doctor. She was looking in the rooms when she came across one that had someone tied to a chair. She stopped and looked into it. The man lolled his head and then looked over at the door. Seeing Riza's face in the door, he gasped.

"Lieutenant!"

"Doctor… Striker?"

"Yes it's me!"

"But-"

"It's an impostor! Hurry and let me out!"

"Of course he would say that." The Dr. Striker in front of Riza said. "I've seen them. These Homunculi are smart and they would know that you would fall for the tied up trick."

"No! Lieutenant Hawkeye, it's me! I'm the real Dr. Striker! I'm the real-"

Riza blinked in confusion as she watched a long spike retreat from the entrapped Dr. Striker's head and a beautiful woman with long black hair came into the view.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Lieutenant… Now, where were we Envy?"

Riza turned back as Dr. Striker's face seemed to melt away and revealed the young looking Homunculus. Envy began to laugh, doubling over in happiness.

"Oh man you should see your face! It's priceless right now!"

"Then… then the man in there was…"

"That's right." Lust said, walking to the door of the cell. "This man was the _real_ Dr. Striker. We didn't want him to mess up our plans with his silly experiments any longer. Although we should thank him for giving us the experiments in the first place."

"Yo, where's that kid?"

"You mean the Colonel or the old man?"

"Both."

"I finished off the old man and the Colonel is… being taken care of…"

Riza's eyes widened in fear for the first time since she had gotten there but she couldn't believe that. They had to be mistaken because she knew Edward would fight until his dying breath for the Colonel and she knew _damned well_ that he didn't die from this woman in front of her.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're lying." Riza said, glaring at the two.

Lust opened the door from the inside of the cell and walked out, walking up to Envy.

"Oh, I'm not." She said with a smirk. "That old man will be long dead before you're able to find them."

"You're lying! Edward would never lose the likes of you, old or not."

"Lady, do you not get what happened?" Envy said with a look to Riza. "That old man was beaten fair and square. His old man bones wouldn't be able to keep up with Lust."

"Exactly. He moved like his shoes were keeping him stuck to the floor. I _had_ to dispose of him quickly, for he was embarrassing me."

There was a dull BOOM from deeper inside the facility and Lust looked over her shoulder casually.

"Oh my, it looks like the blaster doors are coming down. He's as good as dead."

"Where are they? Where are Edward and the Colonel?"

"Oh… well, the old man got the baby and we _were_ going to have some fun with him but him just dying is a good thing too."

"Even if he does survive, it's not like we can't just come back and try to get him. I mean, there's no more serum left except what, one bottle?" Envy said.

Lust reached into her cleavage and produced a small vial.

"This seems to be the only one left. Unfortunately, it's to reverse the aging effect and there's only _one_ dose… Will you choose your superior or will you choose the boy?" Lust threw it and Riza caught the vial. "We'll let you make that harrowing choice. Come on, Envy, we've done enough here."

They walked past Riza as she stared at the vial in her hand. The choice was up to her now: make the Colonel his normal age but keep Edward at the age he is now or keep the Colonel as a baby and make Edward his normal age?

* * *

 _Get up! Move, dammit! Come on! Pick yourself up and **walk**!_ Edward yelled in his head. He had been thoroughly defeated by the odd woman from before and was now limp against the wall, his real arm barely able to hold the Colonel's tiny body in his arms. He had been pierced in the shoulder, the stomach, the leg… any place that was going to cause him major issues when he got up… The Colonel just cried and cried in his lap as Edward stared at him, frozen and unable to move.

A fire broke out around them and Edward raised his head up heavily and gulped.

"I guess we're in Hell, huh?" he rasped to himself.

He looked down at the Colonel, who was still crying but not as hard as before. He smiled a little at him and breathed in, bracing himself for what he was going to the have to do. He clenched his flesh arm tight around Colonel's body, his shoulder screaming at him but he didn't let up. He clenched his abs and used his flesh leg to push himself up the wall. It hurt like hell and Edward hadn't balanced without his automail in a while and had to figure out how to compensate for it.

To his luck, the room he was in seemed to be some sort of office and the desk had a rolling chair. He laughed a little and used all of his might to hop to the chair. He lucky made it and then sat in it, screaming in agony from all of the wounds that were now activated. He breathed heavily from the pain and held onto the Colonel tight so that he didn't drop him and began to push with his leg but didn't get very far because his leg was in so much pain.

"Damn it, it sucks to be one legged and old, you know that?" Edward grumbled, looking down at Roy.

Roy had calmed down now and was sucking on his hand, looking intently up at Edward's face. He smiled a little at him but the fire began to swarm them and Edward gulped.

"I don't know what to do, Colonel… If I hadn't fought so hard I may have been able to get out of here but I busted my leg too like an idiot… Maybe I'm senile too…"

"Edward?" he could hear faintly from the other side of the blaster door.

"Lieutenant?" he whispered and then licked his lips. "Hawkeye?!"

"I knew you weren't dead! Are you near the door? Do you have the Colonel?"

"Yeah I do but we're roasting in here! My automail rusted out on both my arm and leg so I can't go anywhere… I'm hurt pretty bad too."

"Don't worry. I'll get you out of there. I have an axe. It may cut through enough for me to get in."

"No, that's too dangerous… Try and make a hole and I'll hand the Colonel to you so that you can take him to safety… I'll try to make an alchemy circle and get out some other way… Somehow…"

Edward could hear Riza banging on the door with the axe and so he tried to scoot himself as best as he could to the door to be ready to hand the Colonel off to her. The blood loss was getting to him and he was having a hard time keeping himself awake, as well as keeping Roy straight in his arm and not falling.

After what seemed like forever, finally the tip of the axe showed through the door and Riza began to hit pretty accurately in the same spot until a good sized hole was formed. She looked in and saw Edward sitting there.

"Edward, I can't make the hole any bigger. What can we do? The place is about to go up in flames and I won't leave the two of you in there."

Edward shook his head, trying to think and looked at the hole in his leg. He moved to the door and balanced Roy in his lap to draw on the door.

"I don't think I have enough… strength…"

He thought long enough to grab Roy before he slipped from the chair.

* * *

Riza heard Edward slide against the door and she screamed in frustration as she used all of her strength to chop at the door. She didn't know she could have such strength but she didn't let up and kept hitting the axe against the metal, pulling the metal out as she went along and finally made a big enough hole for her to pull her top half through.

The room was stifling and filling with smoke and Roy was crying and coughing at the same time. She leaned in as far as her hips would let her (since they were a little wider than the hole) and was successful in grabbing Roy. It was a little harder to get back through the hole and she got a lot of cuts but she maneuvered her superior through the hole and shushed him against her shoulder so he knew that he was alright. When he had finally calmed down, she looked at the door and listened to other parts of the building falling. She couldn't just leave Edward there…

She looked around but all she saw was fire… _Fire…_ She looked at Roy, who was looking at her with his big black eyes and she smiled at him. She had held his gloves almost all her career and knew the design of the alchemical circle like the back of her hand. She used her blood and drew the circle on his hand as he watched her intently, very unchildlike.

"I can draw this circle but I can't do anything about it but… You can get Edward out, alright? You trust me don't you?" He looked at her and she smiled. "Of course you do."

* * *

 **just for clarification: for anyone who read BACKWARDS, edward didn't do much that time with his leg and that's why he was able to walk out of there no problem. this time, he fought harder and actually used his leg against lust and caused the rusting on the inside to break it from his leg.**

 **what will riza do to get edward out? will they be alright?**


	3. Chapter 3

Jean was working on a case late into the evening when the phone rang in Mustang's office. Jean looked at the door in apprehension. Should he answer it? I mean, it was the Colonel's office… The phone kept ringing and he got up, opening the door and picking the phone up.

"Colonel Mustang's office?"

"There is a caller from an outside line, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye? Do you accept?"

"Yes."

There was silence and then the line clicked over.

"Havoc?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, good… you're still there…"

"Hawkeye? What's going on? Why are you-"

"Jean, please send anyone you can to this address. It's about the Colonel…"

She told him the address and he frowned when he heard her coughing and heard the sound of a baby wailing.

"Hawkeye, what's going on? What are all those noises?"

"It doesn't matter, Havoc. Just get the medics over here. I… I can only do so much now…"

Jean's frown deepened. "Hawkeye, what's _wrong_?"

"Just… just get people here…"

She said nothing else and Jean waited but didn't hear her.

"Hawkeye? Hawkeye?! HAWKEYE!" he screamed into the phone.

She didn't answer and he hung up, ringing the medical team and the rest of Mustang's team to meet at the address Riza had given him.

* * *

In a desperate attempt to make sure that his friends were alright, Jean didn't realize he had sped halfway to the lab until he saw it almost twenty minutes later when it took almost forty-five to actually get there. There were no paramedics there yet from where he was but he could see the smoke where the building had collapsed and burnt to the ground. He frowned as he drove slowly, seeing if he could see them since Riza had called from an outside line. As he drove closer to the facility, he found the pay phone and with the window down, he could hear crying. He picked up speed and drove over to the pay phone.

He parked the car and went to the pay phone, finding Riza passed out in the actual booth with a black haired baby laying beside her in complete dismay and coughing and an older gentleman leaned against the booth. Jean knelt down and picked up the child first, since that was the only one conscious and the only one distraught and he began to rock the baby gently in his arms, humming a lullaby his mother used to sing to him. Eventually the baby calmed down and only coughed every couple of minutes. Jean wiped away the baby's tears and smiled at him a little as he bounced him in his arms.

"You're alright, kid. Jean's got ya…"

Now that the child was alright, Jean knelt in front of Riza's frame in the booth and shook her. She didn't budge but Jean checked her pulse and she was breathing. Jean then went to the man leaning against the booth. He looked oddly familiar… that was when he saw the busted arm and leg.

"Aw, Chief, they got you too… Damn it…"

In response, Edward coughed and Jean lifted his head so he didn't choke on his own spit. Thick blood oozed from Edward's mouth and Jean began to assess the damage and the wounds. As he did, he finally heard the ambulances coming. He met them halfway and identified everyone, except for the baby… but he had a sneaking suspicion of who it was.

* * *

Jean sat in the waiting room as the other people from the Colonel's direction began to appear as well as Alphonse.

"How are they?" Breda asked, sitting next to him.

"I haven't heard anything. I know Edward is… he's pretty close to death."

"Brother? What happened to him, Lieutenant?" Alphonse asked, his eyes glowing.

"As everyone knows, the Colonel got caught up in a strange aging experiment that made him begin to regress in age. When Ed and Hawkeye went to get him, it looks like Edward got caught up in it too and so he was progressed to an older age and… well, it looks like the Colonel regressed fully into a baby. Dr. Striker is dead and there is only one bottle of the serum left. Here is the issue on that: if we give it to the Colonel, he will be himself but Edward will still be old. If we give it to Edward, he will return to his normal self and the Colonel will have to grow from a baby to an adult again. If we try to split it, it will not do much good for them. From what I gathered from another bio-alchemist who happened to be working on the serums with Dr. Striker, splitting the dosage will only cause minimal help, but it will help… So… we have to make a decision as a group: do we let our superior go or not?"

Everyone was quiet as they thought about the possibilities when Fuery spoke up.

"We all know the Colonel wouldn't allow Edward to be in that state. He would give his life up for him to go back to normal. The Colonel would have a second chance at life, Edward will have his life taken from him. The Colonel would make sure Edward was safe."

Everyone nodded, even Alphonse. Jean nodded.

"You're right, Fuery… Even if the situations hadn't changed, the Colonel would have gladly siphoned off some of his years in order to make it right for Edward. He cares too much about his subordinates to leave them in the lurch… So… who is all in agreement?"

Everyone raised their hands and Jean nodded.

"I'll tell Hawkeye our decision and then… well, we will have to tell our superior goodbye."

Everyone nodded gravely as he got up to go to Riza's room.

* * *

Havoc knocked on the door and opened it, finding Riza sitting up and reading. She looked at the door and smiled.

"Havoc."

"We have all decided that Edward Elric should receive the serum, Lieutenant." He said with a salute to her. "That's final."

Riza nodded. "Yeah… that was my thought too."

Jean sighed and sat next to Riza in the chair.

"It's going to be so hard to say goodbye to him like this… How will you tell the Fuhrer? Rather, _will_ you tell the Fuhrer?"

"Yes. I will let him know. I have to since the Colonel was on the case and got caught up in it. The Fuhrer will need to know the status of it and of the Colonel."

"And… what will _you_ do, Lieutenant? Will you take him in?"

Riza sighed. "I'm still in debate. I don't want to keep him and know him but have to ignore that, but… I don't want to be out of his life. I promised the Colonel that if anything happened that I would help him assume a new identity and I will hold to that promise…"

There was a slight knock on the door and a young man's head stuck in.

"Are you Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Yes…"

"Hi, I'm Dr. Hamilton, one of Dr. Striker's assistants."

Riza shook the red headed man's hand and Jean did as well.

"What brings you here?"

"I wanted to let you know that I will do everything in my power to try and get your superior back to normal but… I'm not as skilled as Dr. Striker and it may take me some time… I did want to let you know that I *do* have something that will help things along while I'm in the process of making the growth serum."

"And that would be?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small vial of pink liquid.

"This is a serum that I made with Dr. Striker. It's a growth serum but it's not as perfected as Dr. Striker's and so it will only work after your superior turns one year of age and it will only age him five years. No more, no less. _But_ it will help push things along so that the years don't seem that long."

Riza smiled, a secret relief washing over her as Jean smiled too.

"Great! Aw, but that means that we still didn't get out of the baby stage…"

"True, but like I said, I will be working day in and day out to try and get your superior back. The only thing is is that I have nowhere near the ability to make it where he doesn't remember anything from his past. From what I understood from Dr. Striker, the memories from his past will emerge at the ages that he had them. Anything traumatic will come back, any memories will return and that's with both his original life and the one that happened here with the serum. It'll converge all into one."

"What will that do to him?" Riza asked.

"He'll have nightmares and questions. There's no reason to hide them from him unless you just want to. It won't destroy his brain or anything from having too many lifetimes or something silly like that. He'll just have confusion as to if they are nightmares or memories. Whether any of you want to tell him the truth is up to you."

Riza and Jean nodded as Dr. Hamilton put the serum on the table.

"I'll leave this with you, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Thank you… although… How do I know that you're not giving us bogus serum?"

"If you like, you can test a drop of the serum on a seed of your choice. Plant the seed in the ground, drop a drop of serum onto it, cover it up and water it. Over the next five days, you will see a sapling grow up a year every day until five years."

"Why will it work with a seed but not the Colonel's current form?" Jean asked.

"A seed is a condensed genetic code that doesn't have complex functions. A human is much more complex than a tree. Motor skills, intellect, and other factors play a part in how a child develops rather than a tree."

Riza nodded. "I understand, Doctor. I will try it out when I get home and test to see if it's alright. Thank you for even giving it to us."

"You're quite welcome."

Dr. Hamilton left and Jean turned to Hawkeye.

"Do you trust this guy?"

"I have to. It's our jobs as officers to follow our superior and since we are losing him, getting him back would be nice. A jump start would help a lot…"

Jean nodded. "I guess that makes sense… I'm going to go see the Colonel and talk to him for a bit… Do you think he's forgotten by now?"

"He's a small child now without a memory. The smoke inhalation probably helped with that. He's a normal baby now… The big issue is what new name do I give him?"

"Why not just keep his 'nephew's' name and call him Chris?"

"I may just do that…"

Jean got up and pat Riza on the shoulder.

"It'll be alright, Hawkeye. You have the whole team with you and Edward and Alphonse as well. We'll all be here and we all know what's up so the feelings you have won't be felt alone."

Riza nodded as Jean left. When he was finally gone, Riza cried in her hands, knowing she would be losing her Colonel for a very long time… time that she would never get back.

* * *

 **just to let yall know, dr. hamilton is a legit person. no plot twist there and for the record, edwards wounds aren't that serious if he were in his younger state. the fact that he is older, was breathing in smoke, and fought so hard with them in that older state that's causing the issues. plus, the stomach and leg wounds are the worst because. the shoulder wound is a flesh wound but his age doesn't help that fact either...**

 **and i decided to keep mustangs name chris for easiness**


	4. Chapter 4

**ONE WEEK LATER**

Edward opened his eyes and looked around a little, not quite sure where he was at. He heard the sound of metal grinding and knew Alphonse was in the room.

"Ed?" He heard Alphonse get up from where he was at and his metal face came into view, although blurry. "Brother, are you up?"

Edward mumbled something but he was really weak and could hardly move. Alphonse's eyes glowed in a smile as he moved the sheets around a little.

"The doctors have been really worried about you. They said they thought you may not make it."

"Colonel…" was the first thing Edward could express.

Alphonse's eyes dimmed and Edward knew something was wrong.

"He's safe but he's a baby… Dr. Striker is dead so there is no way to make another serum quickly. The only person who is able to help is the assistant to Dr. Striker, Dr. Hamilton, but he's never done anything like Dr. Striker… He _did_ give us a serum to help the Colonel age only five years but… Nothing like what Dr. Striker can do. He's promised to work night and day on a cure."

Edward's eyes felt heavy and he eventually fell back asleep. Alphonse sighed but got up to tell the nurses that his brother was beginning to wake up, which was a really good sign.

* * *

Riza rubbed Roy's arm softly in the gloves of the NICU ward. He was hooked up to all kinds of machines, his poor lungs having a hard time with the smoke inhalation. Riza wondered if a little bit of the reversal serum would help Roy's lungs expand… well, not _Roy_ anymore; Chris.

"Hawkeye," Riza looked over her shoulder at Jean. "If you don't stop leaving the room the hospital is going to tie you down."

"I can't just leave him here by himself, Havoc. He's so weak…"

Jean looked into the warmed bassinet where his Colonel laid, in a onesie with a hat to keep his head warm and tubes all over the place. Jean moved Riza to have her look at him.

"Hawkeye, the Colonel would be kicking you if he knew you were here making a fuss over him."

"That's the thing though, he's _not_ Colonel Roy Mustang anymore. He's Chris Mustang, the baby. Even so, I can't just leave him like this. He's so fragile and so needy. I've been thinking that… that maybe we can use just a tiny bit of the reversal serum so that he can at least have his lungs expanded enough to clear out. When he grows up and finds out we let him get bad lungs because we didn't try hard enough…"

"Hawkeye." Jean said, turning her fully to him. "Listen to me, okay? Go back to your room. I heard that Edward is starting to wake up. I'll go and ask his permission about what you said because I think you're right in that it will help the Colonel out a little, but we made the decision that we were going to let the Colonel go. We _have_ to if we're going to move on."

"But how am I supposed to raise him?"

"It doesn't have to be you, Riza. In fact it _shouldn't_ be you."

"Then _who_ , Havoc?" she growled at him, her brown eyes narrowing. "Who would be better suited to raise the Colonel?"

"No offense, but your methods of raising things are a little disconcerting considering the upbringing of Black Hayate." Riza smirked as Jean smiled. "But that aside, the stress will be too much for you, Hawkeye. Knowing who he is and everything about him will make you break down over the years. Seeing the man you followed for so long be reduced to a child is not something you need to be around all the time."

"Well we're _not_ putting him in the care system. He's already been through that."

"We'll think of something, Hawkeye. Right now, go and get some sleep or you won't think of anything."

Riza deflated and Jean took her back to her room.

* * *

"Well, Mr. Elric, your vitals are getting much better." The nurse said, looking at the machines and her charts. "The doctor will be here in a moment. Both of them."

Edward still wasn't up for talking and so he just turned his head at Alphonse.

"The hospital doctor and Dr. Hamilton. He was a helper to Dr. Striker." He explained.

"That's right. They will both be here to examine you and see if you're alright to have the serum given to you."

Edward frowned as the nurse left and Alphonse turned to his brother. Edward looked at Alphonse and motioned for him to come closer.

"Colonel…" he said softly.

"Are you trying to ask if he's alright?"

"Serum…"

"The thing is… well… there's only one serum and the Colonel's men opted to give it to you."

"Why?" Edward said, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Why aren't we giving the serum to the Colonel?" Edward nodded. "Well… brother, your body is that of a fifty year old man. The Colonel's men all agreed that it's not fair to you to have your youth robbed from you and that the Colonel would say the same."

Edward made a face and Alphonse sighed.

"Brother, that's the decision they made and they're right. You're sixteen years old and yet you look like an old man. The Colonel would gladly give you the serum if he had the ability to say it. I'm not saying this because I'm your brother, I'm saying this because Mustang's men know their superior and I know how he is too. He's like you… He would make sure you were taken care of first."

Edward tried to keep from crying when the door opened and the two doctors walked in. The hospital doctor smiled at Alphonse as Dr. Hamilton looked at Edward.

"Well," the hospital doctor said to Alphonse. "It looks like he is in the clear and we can proceed with the serum that Dr. Hamilton has provided for us to change him back to his normal self. Although everything is fine with his vitals, I regret to inform you that he will need glasses."

"Glasses?"

"Yes. It looks like the shift in age changed his eyesight to that of if he really were a fifty year old man and so even though the change back will not affect everything, I'm afraid his eyesight will be permanently affected by the age change. He doesn't need anything strong but they will need to be permanent to help him with vision."

Edward made a face at the diagnosis but figured it was better than getting a disease. Dr. Hamilton walked over to Edward and smiled at him.

"I'm very happy to make your acquaintance, Mr. Fullmetal, sir. I've heard lots of things about you. I _am_ sorry that there had to be a choice between the Colonel and you but everyone seemed to think that you deserved it."

The door opened and Jean stepped in.

"Sorry to bother you but I need to ask Major Elric a question…"

"Go right ahead."

Jean walked over to Edward's bedside and smiled at him.

"Hey, Chief, looking rough." Edward smiled. "You look better than when I found you though… Anyway, Riza has an idea that she wants to run by you but she's a little emotional right now. She was wondering, and so was I, if we gave a tiny bit of the serum to the Colonel for medicinal purposes only?"

"Medicinal purposes?" Dr. Hamilton said.

"Yeah. He's… he's stuck on a ventilator and in NICU because of all the smoke inhalation and everything. We were wondering if we could have a small bit of the serum to help the Colonel's body grow and expand his lungs. That's what seems to be the issue right now I believe… and Hawkeye doesn't want his wrath when he has breathing issues from when he grows up and remembers. Anyway, will you allow that?"

Edward nodded as vigorously as he could and Dr. Hamilton smiled.

"I will leave about 2cc of the serum for him. That should give him the needed growth for the lung expansion."

Jean smiled at the good news. "Hawkeye will be very happy to hear that." He turned to Dr. Hamilton. "Will you be giving the serum to Major Elric now?"

"Major?" Dr. Hamilton asked in confusion.

"Yes, all State Alchemists are automatically given the rank of a major when they are enlisted." Havoc said with a look to the doctor.

"I was unaware of the ranking of alchemists. I was under the impression that they had their own ranking system in the military unless they specifically were used as military personnel."

"No… if Edward wanted to move up in the ranks in the military, he could and he could either be called by his rank name or keep the alchemist name given, like the Colonel did. He is… _was_ the Flame Alchemist, but preferred his rank title."

"Fascinating… and to answer your question, yes, I am going to be giving the serum to Mister- er, Major Elric in just a moment. When I am done I will give the small amount of serum to your superior."

"I'll go let Hawkeye know."

Havoc left and the hospital doctor left as Alphonse watched Dr. Hamilton take a cotton swab and some alcohol and wipe off a section on Edward's arm.

"Dr. Hamilton, why were you interested in my brother's rankings?"

"Because I have a… son as well who would like to join the military when he grows up. He has a way with alchemy and I wasn't sure how the ranking was. He says he wants to be a high ranking official in the military as well as an alchemist but I wasn't sure if there were two separate ranks."

Dr. Hamilton stuck the needle in Edward's arm and emptied the syringe except for 2ccs of it.

"I didn't know you had a son, Dr. Hamilton."

"I… don't talk about him much. He has lived with his… mother for a while but she suddenly 'got tired of him' and gave him to me. I don't know much about him but I'm trying." He smiled. "There, he should be back to normal or pretty close to it by tomorrow or the end of the week, depending on how the body reacts to the serum."

"What's your son's name?"

"Crimson." Dr. Hamilton stood up. "I'll go give this to the Colonel. I'll check on your brother in a couple of days."

"Thank you!"

Dr. Hamilton left the room to go to NICU.

* * *

 **there are many hidden gems in this chapter that were blatantly put in there. it's a treasure hunt to see if you can maybe find them.**

 **and poor mustang, he's a wittle baby in nicu! and if riza can't (or shouldn't) raise roy, then who could it be? we will find out soon enough!**


	5. Chapter 5

**i apologize if it's so short. i'm not meaning for them to be. they should start getting a little longer.**

* * *

There was a knock at the door and Edward looked up.

"Come in." he said.

The door opened and he had to squint to see who it was. He could just barely make out yellow hair.

"Riza?"

"No, you dope, it's me."

"Oh, Winry. Sorry, you're a bit blurry. Al went to go get me some glasses."

He saw Winry set her case down for his automail and walked up to him, coming into focus.

"Yeah, I met him downstairs. He told me what happened… Are you okay?"

"I'm fine… well, as can be expected. I can't see worth shit but I'll be fine I think."

Winry chuckled and grabbed his hand in hers.

"You're lucky. I was going to really lay into you with my wrench about breaking your automail but when Al told me what happened to you, I figured you've been through enough."

"I'll have to thank him for sparing me your wrath."

There was another knock and Edward told whoever it was to come in. Havoc walked in, holding a baby.

"Look who I have..."

Upon seeing Edward, the baby went into a series of giggles and began to reach out toward him. Edward could just barely see Roy but Havoc brought him closer and Roy reached out and grabbed Edward's face. He smiled a little and touched Roy with his flesh hand.

"You're doing a lot better…"

"The serum helped a lot. He's past the wobbly head stage as well. I think Dr. Hamilton said he's about three or four months now as opposed to almost new born. He recognizes us though… all of us. I don't think it's as cognizant as before but when he sees one of us, it's like he knows we're okay. He recognizes Hawkeye the most though."

"Of course," Edward said as Winry got out her tape measure to measure his arm. "So… I hear his new name is going to be Chris?"

"Yeah. Hawkeye promised him that if anything happened that she would give him a new identity. We decided that having him go by his original alias of Chris Mustang seemed the easiest route to go."

"I see. Who's going to take care of him? Hawkeye?"

Havoc pulled Christ back to him since Edward couldn't hold him and touched his nose.

"Edward can't hold you right now. He only has one arm. We'll come back and let you be with him when he can hold you, okay?"

Chris seemed to think but tried again to go to Edward.

"No, no…" he said, pulling him back. "Sorry… and no, Hawkeye won't be taking care of him. She's too torn up about this already and I don't think it would be a good idea to keep seeing him like this."

"I agree. Then who will raise him?"

"We're trying to figure that out. We don't want everyone in the military to know what happened to him but all of us are single. I thought about Hughes' wife but that seemed cruel…"

"What about your teacher, Ed?" Winry said, going to the other side of the bed to measure his leg. "Didn't she say she lost a son some time before you become her pupils?"

Edward thought about it and nodded. "Yeah, she did."

"Why not her? She's an alchemist as well, right?"

"I could ask her but Teacher isn't very fond of the military. They've tried to get her to sign up but she abhors it. That's why she beat us up, remember? And when the Colonel grows up, he's going to want to be in the military. His memories won't let him _not_ be."

"True but she's probably the only one outside of the military you could trust with this type of secret. Plus, she's an alchemist. I think she'd be a very good mother."

"I'll have to talk to her about it… Calling her out of the blue like this will be strange."

"If this teacher of yours is a trustworthy source, I can tell Hawkeye we may have a place for him to go."

"Plus, you can visit him." Winry said, going back to her case to write down the measurements for Edward's automail. "I'll see you, Ed. I'm going to go and make these for you. Unfortunately though, I will also have to craft another connector, sorry."

"That's alright. I figured you've have to since it rotted out."

"Well, luckily that serum helped bring back some of it but I will need to replace them just in case."

Winry left and Havoc smiled, sitting next to Edward.

"She's cute."

"Brother, I got your glasses." Alphonse said, coming into the room. "I didn't dare try to open the case in case I crushed them on accident."

Alphonse handed him the case and then looked at Havoc and Chris. Chris squealed and held out his arms to Alphonse. He smiled and took him as he beat on Alphonse's jutted out piece of his breastplate.

"I'm happy to see you too, Colonel." He said with a laugh.

Edward opened the case with some difficulty but took out the glasses and put them on. Things were ten times clearer and he hated that he had to wear them but figured it was the lesser of the evils that had happened.

"Edward was telling me that maybe your teacher would be able to take Roy in for us."

"Teacher? I don't know… I mean, she may but her parenting skills are a little… unethical. Isn't the lieutenant taking him in?"

"We all agreed that it would be too much for Hawkeye to have to watch him every day since she was so close to him and all."

"I can see that. I think Teacher would be happy to have him, don't you think, Ed?"

"I think she'll do it. I have a feeling though that she'll do the 'all is one, one is all' island tour with him though. Ah, well, he's smart. He'll figure it out."

Chris tried to grab hold of Al's string on his helmet and almost fell. Havoc grabbed him as he began to cry and held onto Havoc's neck.

"I'm so sorry!" Alphonse yelled, completely embarrassed. "He slipped on my arm."

"I think it's time for him to get fed and go back to sleep. You're fine, Al."

He left and Alphonse sighed.

"He scared me." He said.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, Al."

"Do I need to call Teacher and explain what's happened?"

"Well, I would do it but I can't get out of bed until Winry makes my new automail so, yeah, if you would. I'd ask Hawkeye first."

Alphonse nodded and left the room.

* * *

Izumi was sick in bed when Sig walked in.

"Izumi, there is a phone call from one of the Elric brothers. Are you well enough to come to the phone?"

"The Elrics? Which one?"

"I believe it's Alphonse."

"Yes, I can get up. Give me just a moment."

Sig nodded and Izumi gathered up her strength to get out of bed, a small blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She shuffled to the phone and picked it up.

"This is Izumi Curtis."

"Hey, Teacher."

"Alphonse, what brings you to call me?"

"We… well… we have a situation and we wondered if you would be willing to help us?"

"It depends on what it is. Did Ed do something idiotic again?"

"No, Brother didn't do anything. This has to do with the military though."

"Al, you know that I don't-"

"Please listen, Teacher. Please… I've been given permission to speak to you about the issue."

Izumi didn't like the seriousness in Al's voice.

"I'm listening."

Alphonse told her everything that happened with Roy and what was happening now. She listened intently and asked questions every once in a while.

"So you see, Teacher, we need someone to help look after him while he grows back up. The lieutenant can't do it and everyone else is not capable of raising a child but…"

"You're asking me if I want to raise a man, Alphonse. Child or not, he's still a man."

"I know but he won't know that unless we tell him. Besides, he's not a man anymore… Who best to learn things from than from you though, Teacher? You taught me and Ed so much."

"And look where you ended up: in the military, you in a suit of armor, and Edward with automail. Do you really think I want the same thing to happen to him?"

"But it won't be that way. The Colonel knows a little about flame alchemy but you can teach him regular alchemy. You can teach him things and be a mother…"

Izumi turned her head from the phone in loss of her other child. She then breathed in and sighed.

"Sig and I can come up there in about a week's time to see him. Besides, I can see Edward and speak with this lieutenant that is so close to him. I want to make sure of what is required of me if I took this on."

"So… you're going to consider it?"

"Yes. I will talk it over with Sig and then see you all in a week."

"Oh, thank you, Teacher!"

He hung up and Izumi put her hand over her stomach. Sig came back in and touched her softly on the shoulders.

"What did he have to say?"

Izumi laughed humorlessly.

"He offered me a child."

"A child?"

"Yes… It's some bio-alchemy experiment that their colonel got somehow mixed in and now he can't get out of it. He's stuck as a baby and they believe that I am a good candidate for raising him."

"Raising a colonel?"

"They said he's forgotten everything but… Sig, we have a week to figure this out. I couldn't even keep Aoya and yet…"

Sig hugged his wife gently. "I think you'll make a great mother, Izumi. Even though those kids have been through so much, they have learned a lot from you and still value your opinion. They obviously trust you as well if they would even think of putting their superior's life in your hands."

Izumi nodded as Sig picked her up bridal style and took her back to her room. She laid her head on his chest.

"Will you be willing to raise him, Sig?"

"If you want to raise him, then I will help you. I have no qualms."

She nodded and they began to prepare of the week to come.

* * *

 **i hope i'm not moving too fast. i'm just trying to get out of the blah chapters here and onto the cooler ones. these are important just... not as fun ya know? anyhow, it looks like izumi might be the one to do it. will she and sid be able to handle little chris?**


	6. Chapter 6

**i spelled sig's name wrong so i corrected it. it's sig, not sid *facepalm***

* * *

Riza stood at the train station, waiting for the Curtis' to come off of the train. She was the one they needed to speak with but she also just wanted to make sure that she described everything the way it was supposed to be to them. Riza had never met them and was feeling antsy sending her colonel to live with these people. _But he's not your colonel anymore._ she thought and tried to fight back tears of anger. She knew there was nothing she could do for her superior but make him live a comfortable life until he was one years of age. Then again, that wasn't her call. If the Curtis' didn't want to tell him who he was or give him the serum, that was their choice.

"Are you Lieutenant Hawkeye?" a calm voice asked.

Riza turned to look at the person who asked her name and was met by a young woman no older than her with microbraids and a jacket on. There was a man almost as huge as Armstrong behind her with a piercing glare under his black mustache.

"Yes, I am. You must be the Curtis'." She said, holding out her hand.

Izumi took it cautiously and Riza shook it. "I thank you for coming about this matter."

"Well we really haven't said anything about the issue so we're going to see how it is." Izumi said with a sad smile. "We lost a child before and I just need to know if I can handle actually raising one. The heartache as well as some… other pains."

"I understand perfectly, ma'am. Please follow me to the car so I may take you to the hospital."

Izumi and Sid nodded and followed Riza to the military car that was outside of Central Station. The two climbed in the back as Riza got in the driver's seat, turning the car on. The car ride was awkward for everyone, even though Riza tried to gather the courage to speak to them but talking about giving her superior to people she wasn't familiar with was odd.

"From what Alphonse explained," Izumi started, scaring Riza. "It sounds like I have a weighty responsibility to handle if I take your superior in."

"I take it you've never met our superior?"

"Edward has told me about him. He always said he was a pain in the ass but was good at what he did and was very loyal to all of his subordinates, even Edward."

Riza smiled. "Yes; Edward seemed to have gotten him quite right… He is not as he seemed. He was made up of layers that few ever got to peel back and see the real Colonel under. He..." She sighed. "He was unique."

"I see. You care deeply for him, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. That's why I want to make sure that he gets into the right hands. I couldn't bear to see him being mistreated or given an unfair advantage. Edward seems to trust you and I want to believe in his decisions but…"

"You don't know us." Izumi said with a smile. "I understand, Lieutenant. You were very close to him, weren't you? And not just in loyalty that a subordinate has for their superior, right?"

"I would follow him to the depths of Hell if I had to. He had goals to change this country, to change the way things were done but he also had compassion for his men and cared for them as if they were not just underlings, but brothers and sisters; children… He's a very selfish man, Mrs. Curtis… He didn't like it when people messed with his things."

Izumi smiled at that, already seeing what type of man he had been and what he would still be going forward.

"I see. So what will I have to do?"

"I was under strict instruction to only tell you those details after you have met him and make a firm decision of your care for him."

"Fair enough."

The car stopped at the hospital and they all got out, walking inside.

* * *

"Dammit, Colonel, I told you that I would do this but you're pissing me off. Stop moving around and let me get this on you. I _know_ you're doing this on purpose." Edward growled.

Edward tried once more to get Chris' legs to stop squirming so that he could put the diaper on him. And once more, Chris kicked his legs out of Edward's hands and laughed at Edward's attempts at trying to get them back. Edward yelled and threw his hands in the air.

"I give up! Al, help me out here!" he yelled.

"Oh, no, I think you're doing a fine job, Brother." He said, trying to keep from laughing.

Edward turned back to Chris and set to sneak attacking his legs when he felt something on his shirt. He looked down and saw a stream hitting him and looked at Chris. He was looking straight at Edward with his finger in his mouth and a big smile on his face.

"You're a sick bastard, you know that?"

Chris just giggled and Edward used his automail hand to grab his ankles and get a wipe to wipe him off. With the automail hand, Chris couldn't maneuver his feet out his hands and Edward finally got the diaper on, even though it was hard to do with opposite hands. He sighed in relief and picked Chris up, making him stand on the changing table.

"There. And you better not take a dump in five minute either or so help me, you're going to lay in it."

Chris bounced up and down as Edward tried to fix his onesie and babbled a little in his ear.

"Yeah, habbla, blah blu to you too." He finished snapping the onesie back and pulled back. "You ready?" he said, holding out his hands.

Chris clapped and held out his own arms as Edward picked him up and walked over to a chair, setting him in his lap. He stood him up and he began to play with Edward's hair.

"It's a good thing you're cute because I would have smacked you. Hey, are you listening?"

Chris grabbed his cheeks and decided to put Edward's nose in his mouth to give him a kiss. Alphonse laughed a little as Edward grabbed Chris' hands and made him sit down, where the baby proceeded to clap and squeal.

"Aw, the Colonel gave you a kiss." Alphonse joked.

"Yeah, and when he starts to remember, I'm going to make sure I bring it back up. Assaulting a minor…"

"I think that's _you_ now, Brother."

There was a knock on the door and Riza walked in with Sig and Izumi behind her. Upon seeing Riza, Chris reached out for her. Riza walked over and grabbed him up, where he proceeded to give her a slobbery nose-kiss too.

"I just changed him… Aw man! I forgot he peed on me! Let me get another shirt…"

While he was doing that, Riza took Chris over to Sig and Izumi.

"This is Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist… at least he used to be. We've renamed him Chris, going off of the alias he gave to us when he was trying to hide this issue. You can name him whatever you want, I guess…"

Edward watched as Chris and Izumi stared at each other for a long time and Izumi licked her lips, holding out her hands.

"May I?"

Riza tried to give him to Izumi but he held onto her uniform. Izumi waited patiently until Riza sighed and put her lips next to Chris' ear. She whispered something to him and he immediately let go, going to Izumi's outstretched hands. She held him and looked him over as he seemed to look her over as well. Even though she never met the man, the child in her arms showed her that he was someone unique, someone people liked. She could see the knowledge that just waited to be explored and she smiled, because she knew that she could do whatever they needed her to do. If she was going to raise a man back to status, she would rather it be this man.

"Teacher?"

"I accept." She said, looking into Chris' black eyes.

"Izumi?" Sig asked.

"What everyone has told me and the determination in his eyes, whether or not he knows it or not, makes me want to help you all. Besides, he was a colonel, right? I will make him a _general_!" she said with an evil laugh as she lifted him in the air. "Yes, I can make you great."

Riza looked at Edward, who shrugged.

Izumi brought Chris down and looked him in the eyes.

"Do you want to be a general?" As if responding, Chris babbled something and she smiled. "Raising him would be a challenge and a privilege."

"Excellent." Edward said, sliding in. "And remember to make him prove he understands alchemy by sending him to Yock Island, okay?"

Izumi smiled and then turned to Sig, holding Chris out to him.

"You need to get used to him as well, dear. Let the lieutenant and I have a talk about this, okay?"

Izumi and Riza left as Sig looked at the tiny body in his big hands. Sig just stared at him for a minute, unsure what to do.

* * *

Riza sat diagonal from Izumi in the waiting room and rubbed her palms on her pants.

"Am I to understand that you're taking him in, Mrs. Curtis?"

"Yes. Wholeheartedly."

"Why?"

"Three reasons: one, although I'm not fond of the military, I can see even in his eyes now that he will be a fine man if he is taught by me. We need more fine men in the military. I only dealt with the Elrics for six months and even though they ignored me about the military, they were fine pupils. I love those boys as my own… That being said, the second reason is because I can see the pain and sorrow on each of your faces. I can see the sadness of 'losing' your superior to something odd such as this and the worry of making sure he is well taken care of. To others he is just a child but to you -and I'm sure your other colleagues- this is the child of a man you knew. There was a life here, a man with history and memories. That has been swept away and all that is left is ideas and an odd shell of the man you all respected.

"That brings me to the third reason: those boys trusted me to understand this. Whether I was their first pick or not, the fact that they decided on me to try and re-raise your colonel shows that they not only have trust in me as a teacher, but trust in me as a mother. They settled on me to raise your colonel in almost an identical -if not, close to it- upbringing so that he becomes the man you all looked up to again. The honor is dazzling and knowing who and what he is makes things easier for me. I _want_ to make this man even better than he was before."

There was silence between them when Riza put her hand over her eyes. Izumi waited and finally heard the soft sniffle of crying. She didn't say anything as Riza composed herself and wiped her eyes, looking back at Izumi.

"That you got all of that just by looking at Roy- Chris and understanding that, I agree with those boys in that you are the best person for him to be with."

"I'm honored to hear you say that. Now, what are things I need to look out for?"

Izumi and Riza talked for a while about what would be expected and what would happen as Roy re-grew. Riza pulled out the vial.

"The decision is yours, Mrs. Curtis. You don't have to give him this serum if you don't want to."

"And what does this serum do?"

"Well, even though he will be growing, the idea is still to get him back to where he was. Dr. Hamilton is working on it but he gave us something to help out since it was all he had. It will make him grow five years older in five days. It's not much but it is a start. His old memories will creep in and it's your decision on whether or not you want to tell him who he used to be or even if you want us to know him at all… The only thing that I can be certain of is that he will want to join the military. He has always wanted to do the greater good and he is best at flame alchemy."

"Flame alchemy? That's not something that I have studied."

Riza smiled. "I'm sure his memories will help him… it is what made Roy, Roy. If you have any questions, I am but a phone call away."

Izumi smiled and stood up.

"I won't keep you away from him. I will let him choose his own path in regards to his memories and abilities. If he chooses the military, so be it, but I also ask that _you_ , as well, let him choose his own path."

Riza held out her hand. "He is yours now, Mrs. Curtis; I am no longer the one to tell him what to do."

"Unless it's an order, right?" Riza made a face. "I know you ordered him to let go. He's still a military dog… or is it military puppy? I think he'll handle himself just fine."

"Me too."

They left to go and get Chris.

* * *

 **ah, izumi. i can see her being so tender and loving and so evil and strict. she'll be a good mom and exactly what roy needs.** **and it was brought out by arakawa herself that izumi's hair is micro-braids, not dreads or box braids.**

 **so i've heard rumor that baby boys have this tendency to literally send a stream of pee onto people and the fact that edward and roy have such a fun relationship in general, i'm sure the flame alchemist would take advantage of this cute stage in life to take advantage of edward's awkward situation with changing his diapers. *giggle* even so, all the babies that i know have this tendency to want to eat your nose. dunno why. it's like a slobber eskimo kiss or something *shrug***

 **oh what fun this will be!**

 **and riza was crying of relief that she wouldn't have worry every waking second if roy was okay. she can see she can trust izumi and that alone made a whole weight be lifted from her shoulders.**


	7. Chapter 7

**sorry about the time skip and i'm not sure how rank promotions work but this is how i do it. oh and it's huh-why jsyk**

 **and sorry about the superduper updates on this one. i promise to upload something else soon!**

* * *

 **SEVERAL MONTHS LATER**

"Have you heard anything about the Colonel?" Jean asked Hawkeye in the office.

"I got a picture of him the other day… I think he's happy." She said, holding out the picture that she had.

Jean took it from her and looked at it. It was a picture of Izumi holding Chris in the air, looking up at him. He had a huge smile on his face as well as her. Jean smiled, handing the picture back to her.

"Yeah, he looks like he's in good hands. Are you worried about him?"

"No… They call me every month for me to talk to him. He babbles to me and I talk to him normal but Izumi says that when he hears my voice he gets excited. The same with Edward."

"How are the Elrics?"

"They've been on a mission to try and get their bodies back."

"How does it feel to move up a couple of ranks?"

"It's odd… I feel like I didn't deserve it. I mean, all that happened was that the Colonel was affected by that experiment. But I think they said that it had something to do with going over and beyond the line of duty when Edward and I rescued him from the building."

"Didn't the chief move up a rank or two?"

"They would have but he is too young to be in anything higher than he is already. They said that whenever he gets older and if he stays in the military, anything exemplary that he does will earn him his two ranks."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing. If you move ranks above Edward, you can try to fulfill the Colonel's dream with Edward serving under you until Roy gets back to normal. It's kind of ingenious."

"That will be a long time from now, Havoc… Even if Roy grows with the extra five years, it won't be enough. We'll all be older when he comes back."

Jean smiled sadly, understanding the issue she was in.

"Well, we can do what we can to help him when he gets here. I mean, we're pretty sure he'll return to the military."

"But we can't force him. That would be cruel to his new life. Izumi and I came to an agreement that if he wanted to come back to the military that we would allow him but if he didn't we wouldn't force him to. It's a whole new life that he can live and it's not our jobs or our business to change his mind. He can make his own decisions."

Jean nodded. "I agree. It would be cruel to make him do what he didn't want."

The phone rang and Riza picked up the phone.

"Major Hawkeye's office."

"Hawwi!"

Riza made a face. "Hello?"

"Hawwi! Hawwi!"

"Chris! I'm sorry…"

"Izumi?"

"Major Hawkeye?"

"Yes… How did you get through to this line?"

"I have no idea. Chris grabbed a hold of the phone and started pressing buttons."

"Hawwi!" she heard him yell.

"Izumi, he just dialed into my office from an outside line… He has to verify his information to do that…"

They were silent on the phone for a moment.

"Izumi, he's making words."

"Yeah, I know. If I were anyone outside of this arrangement, I would think that he was a child prodigy. He understands more than we think he does. He understands complicated commands as well as simple ones, even at his age. If he could figure out how to dial into your office from an outside line then…"

"It's all too complicated to think about, I think." Riza said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Tell Sig hello for me and please keep the Colonel from dialing in. If the military hears about it they may take him away."

"Of course. It's good to hear from you, Major. Why not stop by once in a while?"

"I'll try to remember that when my vacation comes up."

Riza hung up and frowned at the phone.

"Hawkeye?"

"The Colonel just rang my phone _directly_ from the Curtis house."

"What? How did he do that?! It's hard enough to even call in sick from my barrack, let alone a baby calling from another town. How could he have done that?"

Riza thought for a moment and looked at the numbers on the rotary.

"He used the pass code to bypass the system."

"Pass code?"

"Everyone in a rank of colonel or higher can bypass the initial switchboard and into the internal one with a pass code. Once they get to the internal switchboard, you can press numbers to go directly where you want to go."

"Whenever I call in I have to talk to the operator."

"That's what I mean. The pass code bypasses the operator and goes directly to the internal switchboard that directs lines to the staff. The operator verifies the outside person with the internal operator and then things go from there but the pass code…"

"So he remembered his own pass code to bypass the operator and come to the internal switchboard?"

"It seems like it…"

"He's remembering then?"

"But that can't be! He's not even a year old yet and he didn't get his pass code until he became a colonel twenty years after he was in the army. _How_ could he have known that? I need to go and speak to Dr. Hamilton."

Riza grabbed her coat and walked out the door swiftly.

* * *

Izumi watched Chris play in the yard while she sat on the porch. She was worried about him. He looked like any precocious little boy but there was something deeper within this illusion. He seemed to remember something from his military days, which were not in his childhood years.

"Izumi?" She turned as Sig walked out. "What's wrong?"

"Chris called into Central Command just a moment ago. I thought he was just play with buttons but he started yelling into the phone. When I got over there, I heard someone talking and realized he had called someone for real. It was Major Hawkeye, Sig. He somehow got a hold of her direct line…"

"Well, he _was_ a high ranking official…"

"When he was in his teens, not as a baby."

When Chris saw Sig he got up off of his haunches and waddled his way over to him. He held up his arms and Sig picked him up. Chris played in his beard, tugging on it a little. Izumi watched them together and smiled at the bond.

"You seem worried about him."

"I am… It's as if he's already pulling away from us and he hasn't even grown up yet. I knew this would be hard when we took this on but…"

"Don't worry about it right now. Right now, he's a happy baby that needs us to look after him." Sig looked at Chris and kissed his forehead. "He is still delicate… Are you going to give him the serum they gave you?"

"Yes, I will. He is a man and he deserves to be one as quickly as possible. Although I will wait a little longer to give it to him. We will never have a child so I would like to experience the small trials everyone takes for granted."

She grinned at Chris, who looked at her and pointed at him.

"And you, no more calling Hawkeye. You'll get her in trouble. Besides, I have a lot of things in store for you so don't think you're going to get away with a lot of stuff."

Chris just blinked at her and she smiled.

"But right now you're my cute wittle baby boy! Yes you are!" she cooed, grabbing Chris up into her arms.

He squealed in delight and giggled more when she gave him raspberry kisses on the cheek.

* * *

Jean and Riza stood outside of the new lab that Dr. Hamilton had built. It was a little smaller than Dr. Striker's lab but still proved to be just as eerie as the first one.

"You didn't have to come with me, Havoc."

"I wanted to see what all this was about. Last time, things got weird. This time, I want to understand what all is involved."

The guard let the two into the building and they were greeted by Dr. Hamilton himself.

"Welcome, welcome! I'm so glad that you're here! I have great news."

"Oh?"

"Yes, please come with me for a moment."

The two walked after him as Riza looked around in suspicion. She didn't want to have to go through what she had just gone through again. A door opened and Dr. Hamilton sat on a desk, looking at the two of them.

"I have succeeded in an experiment just like what happened to your superior! Isn't that wonderful?"

"How is that wonderful?" Jean asked with a frown.

"Because that means that I've figured it out from one end and now I can experiment to figure out from the other. You see, I had a hard time getting the person down to the age your colonel is now. I wanted to start from where he is because that's where we would be going. I can now wait a year just like you will have to, give him my serum and see how I can perfect it from there. I also have another specimen that I will be experimenting from the age the Colonel is now."

"Is it a sick joke to like playing with people's lives?" Jean said.

Dr. Hamilton's smile faded. "Havoc, is it? I'm not 'playing' with people's lives. I'm continuing the research that Dr. Striker started a long time ago. You were not there to see the uses that he had for this project. It's just that somehow they got into the wrong hands and were used against your superior. I am using that same information to try and get him back for you. The people I am using are prisoners on death's row as well as prisoners of war. These people were going to die or get tortured anyhow, so why not put them to good use?"

Jean didn't seem too happy about that but didn't say anything else.

Riza sighed, rolling her eyes, and put her hands in her coat pockets.

"Dr. Hamilton, I have a question in regards to the way the memories would work when the subject ages."

"Of course."

"Could some of the memories overlap? As in, since the first time he was regressing, he kept his memories for a long time even in a child's form, could those memories overlap onto his childish form now?"

"That very well could be. Because if he didn't forget the first time while in a child's form, then those memories would be the same as his adult form. The whole process is very confusing since most of his memories were intact while he was switching between ages. The memories very well could overlap over each other… Why do you ask?"

"There was an incident that happened and I was curious as to why it could have happened."

"Oh, I see. How is your superior?"

"We have him with a good friend and he is being very well protected."

"I'm glad to hear it. I will try to update you on my experiments so that you know where I stand on helping your superior."

"Thank you, Dr. Hamilton."

"Father dear?"

Dr. Hamilton looked around the officers and frowned.

"Crimson, what are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay in Daddy's other office?"

"I know but I wanted to meet the military people." He said with a scuff of his foot and a point. "Please, Dad?"

Dr. Hamilton motioned for him to come over to him and he jumped into his arms as Dr. Hamilton balanced him on his knee.

"Major Hawkeye, Lieutenant Havoc, this is my son, Crimson."

For some reason, Riza felt very uneasy and her hand twitched, wanting to grab her gun. She shook the feeling away, attributing it to the place she was in, and smiled at the young boy.

"Hello, Crimson."

"Delighted to meet you, ma'am." He said, grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles.

Riza chuckled a little as Dr. Hamilton made a face. Crimson looked back at his father.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do with you meet a lady, Dad?"

"Not as showy but you've got the idea." He looked at Riza. "Kids…"

"Yes."

"Are your ranks high?"

Riza and Jean looked at each other and chuckled nervously.

"They're average."

"Ooooh. Father, I want to be where they are!"

"You have to grow up a little in order to do that I'm afraid." He smiled at the two. "He wants to be like Edward Elric, a State Alchemist."

"You know alchemy, little guy?" Jean said with a smirk.

"Uh huh! Wanna see my array?"

"How about not?!" Dr. Hamilton suddenly yelled, standing up and pushing Crimson to the door. "Why don't you go back to the office and wait for me, alright?"

"Of course, Father dear."

He gave a grin over his shoulder and it sent a chill up Riza's spine. It wasn't the grin of a child…

"Why does he call you 'Father dear'?" Jean asked what Riza had been thinking.

"He got that from some radio station and has said it ever since. I'm just getting used to him. You see his mother suddenly decided she didn't want him anymore and threw him back on me. I'm trying to understand him…"

Riza frowned, thinking about that smile.

"No offense, Doctor, but I would make sure I watch your back." She looked at him. "He looks like the type that would do stuff while you slept."

Dr. Hamilton dismissed it. "He's just an intense little boy. No harm done."

Riza wasn't so sure.

* * *

 **that crimson kid is kinda creepy . sorry that there's no ed in this one.**

 **as for the pass code, i would think the higher ups would be able to have one or something. it makes sense to me. and the switchboards i'm talking about is that there is one to take outside calls that routes to another switchboard for inbound calls rather than both of them doing both. *shrug***

 **and poor little chris, what will mommizumi do to you when you grow up?**


	8. Chapter 8

**sorry for the huge time skip and some AU here. and that name... i think it'd be funny myself**

* * *

 **SIX YEARS LATER**

"Good morning, Majors Elric." The secretary said, batting her eyes at the soldiers.

"Ella." Edward said, nodding to her.

"Good morning, Ella. How are you today?" Alphonse asked, trying to do more small talk than his brother.

Since the incident with Roy, Edward finally figured out how to get Alphonse's body back and they were both in the military. Edward stayed in order to watch over Dr. Hamilton and his work and Alphonse wanted to be there for Edward. Even though Edward wanted his brother to go back home after he got his body back, Alphonse only obliged until he was able to stand on his own two feet and trained hard to pass the state alchemy exam. Having seen the Gate as well, Alphonse impressed the Fuhrer with his alchemy as well.

Although he had been the suit of armor and often mistaken for his brother as the Fullmetal Alchemist, the Fuhrer decided on the name Gunmetal Unicorn Alchemist, based off of the color of his former armor and the single horn that had come from the helmet's forehead. Alphonse was a little disappointed that he couldn't just be called Gunmetal Alchemist but was happy to bear the title.

The two of them entered the office as the other officers said hello. Jean walked up to Edward and pointed.

"Colonel wants you."

Edward nodded and walked into the colonel's office. He stood in front of the desk and saluted.

"Lieutenant Havoc said you wanted to talk with me, sir?"

Riza looked up and smiled at him.

"Hello, Edward, how did you and Al's mission go?"

Edward slumped immediately. "Man, they got us mixed up again and then they tried to blame us for the town almost getting destroyed but we fixed it back and got everything right."

"Well that's good. I got a phone call today."

"Yeah?"

"It was from Izumi. She said that she wanted you and I to go to Dublith for Chris's welcome back party."

Edward grinned. "I knew she'd do it. How old is he now?"

"Last I talked to her, she decided to give him half of it when he turned one and will give the other half to him a little later. So he's about nine now."

"The perfect age, hehe…" he said with a grin. He pushed up his glasses and cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"Will you accompany me to see him? He'll be glad to see you…"

Edward looked away for a second but nodded, looking back at her.

"Yeah, I'll come with you."

"I'll let Izumi know you're coming too."

Even though Edward knew it was no fault of his for Roy not getting back to normal, he still felt guilty that he got himself caught up in the serums himself and ended up having to be given the serum to turn back to his normal age. Now that he was in his twenties, it wasn't so bad and getting Al's body back made his habit of taking on issues a little less troublesome but he still had dreams at night of Roy's tiny body or losing consciousness while he tried to save him.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Try to look like you're happy to see him, okay?"

"What are you talking about? _Of course_ I'll be happy to see him. It'll have been nine years for him since I've seen him. Why are you telling me that?"

"Because in those 'nine' years, you've avoided him. I know you talk on the phone to him but you've avoided seeing him with me. Not that it's your obligation but I feel like we're a divorced couple and you haven't done your half of the custody rights. He expects you and I have to give excuses to him for why you're not coming. The sadness in his eyes is heartbreaking."

"Well, I never meant to hurt him…"

"I know you feel guilty still for him not being to get back to normal, but it's no one's fault except those weird Homunculi things. And though we were trusted friends, he trusted you a lot as well. You're important to him and although the importance shifted from subordinate to familial, you're still important."

Edward nodded. "Right… so do I need to start packing now?"

"We leave at first light tomorrow. Please make sure you finish your report and paperwork before you go home today."

"Of course."

He walked out and sat at his desk.

"What did the Colonel have to say?"

"She said that Teacher called and it looks like she sent Chris to Yock Island and he's going to be able to come back in a couple of days. She wants me and the Colonel to go up there and be his welcoming party."

"Aw that's nice. Are you going to go? I know how you get…"

"Of course."

"Wish I could go. I haven't see Chris in a long time. Then again, he wouldn't recognize me in the flesh." Alphonse said, looking at his uniform. "I hope you have a good time, Brother."

"I will… She told me to make sure we fill out those reports and get that paperwork done."

Alphonse nodded and snapped his fingers.

"Oh, by the way, Winry called for you. She said she was coming up for a visit and a tune up next week and to make sure to prepare a room for her."

"That woman is so demanding. I'll be glad when she's back in Rush Valley with a bajillion customers to keep her busy."

"Well, Granny isn't doing so well. We should probably see her soon before… ya know…"

"Yeah. When Winry gets ready to leave I'll ask the Colonel if we can take a small vacation to see Granny for that reason. Hopefully she says yes. I don't want to take advantage."

"True but we have a lot of vacation days that we haven't used up. I'm sure she'd been happy to get those off of our record."

"That's true… Come on, let's finish our stuff so I can pack."

Alphonse nodded and they set to work.

* * *

Three days later, Edward and Riza stepped off the train in Dublith, meeting Sig on the platform.

"Long time no see, Sig." Riza said.

He held out his hand to her and shook it. He looked at Edward and smiled, touching Edward's head.

"You've grown up a lot." He said.

Edward smiled a little and he led them to the house.

"So, when is Chris coming back?" Riza asked.

"Tomorrow. It will be the end of his month on Yock Island. As you requested, Edward, he was put to the test."

Edward smiled. "Well, considering, he needed some humbling. I want him to grow up right, you know."

Sig smiled a little. "He was very disappointed you didn't come and see him."

"I'm sorry, I had things that I was doing."

"He's also been… dreaming."

"Dreaming?" Riza and Edward said at the same time.

"Yes. He's started having dreams of Amestrian military uniforms like yours and him being in one. He remembers seeing the subordinates and being with them as if they were family. He is starting to remember."

"Has Izumi decided when she will give the rest of the serum to him?"

"I haven't heard anything."

As they got to the house, Sig opened the door and moved away as Izumi came flying out, landing a kick square into Edward's face.

"Hello, my idiot pupil. So you've finally come after all this time…" She turned to Riza and smiled. "It's nice to see you Colonel. Congratulations by the way."

"Thank you."

"Come on in… Sig, please get that piece of trash off the lawn. We don't need the neighbors thinking we have a dirty yard."

Sig picked up Edward and took him inside.

* * *

After pouring tea and getting situated, the four of them finally sat around the kitchen table.

"Sig tells me that Chris has begun having dreams."

"Well, we know they're memories." Izumi said a little more curtly that she intended. "They aren't pleasant ones either. What do you know about Roy's childhood?"

"I know he was adopted by his aunt, a Madame Christmas. From what he always told me, she was very good to him and always bolstered him for his aspirations. I've met her periodically before and she is a pretty good woman. Why?"

"Then these must be overlappings of older thoughts during the original transformation…" Izumi said, sipping her tea.

"Why? What's going on?"

"Sig and I, we… well, whenever we hear Chris cry in the night, we immediately go to his room but we don't immediately wake him up. We listen… He talks about you, Colonel, and Edward and often barks out military orders. He also salutes in his sleep as well as mumbles about something called Homunculus. But then there are those times where he cries out and literally wakes up screaming. We ask him what's wrong but he just shakes his head and says he doesn't remember."

"He _was_ in a war, the Ishval War. It was a horrible war and even I still have nightmares about it. If these are the foldings of when he was younger the first time with memories, then it's really possible he's thinking about them."

"Also, every night, no matter what happens, he will always say, "I'll avenge you Hughes. I won't let you die in vain." Who is Hughes?"

Riza and Edward looked at each other and Riza sighed.

"Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes, or posthumously Brigadier General, was Roy's best friend and comrade from the war. They were like brothers but Hughes was killed by a Homunculus, although we aren't by which one. All Roy knew is that Hughes shouldn't have died so callously the way he did and vowed to find his killer and make them pay."

"I see…"

"Teacher, did you ever plan on telling Chris about his former life?"

"After he took the last of the serum." Sig answered.

"I planned on giving the rest when he got back from the island. I don't know what that will do but I wanted the both of you to be here just in case. Especially you, Edward."

"Me? Why me?"

Izumi smiled a little. "In his strange, twisted way he views you as a brother/uncle/father. You were there every step of the way for his transformation. I know he calls you every once in a while. I don't know what he talks to you about but I know it's usually things he doesn't think he can tell me or Sig. It's like he knows you'll understand. Since the Colonel comes to visit every three months, it's different but…"

Edward was a little surprised to hear that Chris thought of him the way Izumi said he did. Now he felt even worse for not coming to visit.

"I know the train was delayed today due a scheduling conflict so I'm sure the both of you are tired. I have two rooms in the back you can use. We'll wake up bright and early to get Chris. You guys will stay here on shore so he can see you when we come back."

Riza and Edward nodded and everyone went to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Izumi went to go get Chris from Yock Island with Sig and Riza and Ed stayed on the shore.

"What is supposed to happen over there?"

"On Yock Island?" She nodded. "Yock Island is just a place that's safe to practice training your body and mind for alchemy. Teacher gives you one month to survive using no alchemy and also with the riddle 'all is one and one is all'. She gives you a large hunting knife and makes you think."

"Do you think Chris will get it?"

"If he's as smart as he was, then he should. There should be no reason… I hope. Then again, I'm sure Teacher would have ground it into his skull…"

"Uncle Edward!"

The two of them looked out as Chris waved ecstatically from the boat. When it finally got to the shore, Chris got off and ran full force at Edward, knocking him down.

"I missed you!" he yelled, looking down at him.

"It's good to see you too, Colonel." Edward said with a laugh, sitting up.

Chris stood up and moved so that Edward could get up. Chris looked at Hawkeye and smiled.

"Auntie Riza, you came too?"

"Of course."

Izumi, Mason, and Sig were finally off the boat and Chris looked at Izumi.

"Mom, this is the best present _ever_!"

"I thought you might like it. Come on and get a bath; you stink to high heaven."

Chris nodded and grabbed Edward's hand, dragging him.

"Come on, Uncle Ed!"

Edward followed him into the house.

* * *

 **sorry there wasn't a lot of chris in this but yeah. and for those who read BACKWARDS, the edward part here is a shout out to the way that mustang treated edward when he was in the hospital. not as long but the same principal applies. and even though it's been six years, i didn't want the rankings to go up too high. it's going to get confusing now because hawkeye is a colonel so she's going to be called 'the colonel' as well... and remember, to chris, being called colonel is a nickname**


	9. Chapter 9

**sorry it's so short. poignant things needed to be said and done with no elaboration i'm afraid...**

* * *

"And then Mason flew out of the bushes and I dodged him, running all over the beach in fright. I eventually threw this rock at him and he left me alone for a little while. It was so _hard_ to make fire all by myself when I can just snap my fingers and do it myself."

Edward choked on his drink and coughed, hitting his chest with his fist.

"Snap your fingers?"

"Yeah! Hey, Mom, can I show 'em now that I'm not on the island anymore?"

Izumi looked at Sig, who shrugged and she sighed.

"You can only do a little one here."

"Awesome! So watch this!"

Chris stood up in his chair and snapped his fingers. A flame came up where the snap was but he hissed and waved it off. Edward watched in confusion and fascination as Riza seemed undeterred from her meal.

"Isn't that cool, Uncle Ed?"

"Yes, that is cool."

"Can you do something like that?"

"I'm not good with flames but uh… no…" he faltered after Izumi glared him down.

"I wish I could just clap like Mom but she said I can't ever do that and that making and controlling fire was as close as I was gonna be to that. Still fire is only one thing, she can make lots of stuff."

"But having control over flames is very meticulous work," Riza said with a smile. "Flame alchemy is one of the hardest alchemies to perfect. The fact that you can perform it without your own array is remarkable."

"That's not true though. Mom says I have this odd thing on my back that could make it where I can do it, see?"

He lifted his shirt up and Edward frowned at what looked like a deep scar of a very intricate array etched into his back. Izumi looked a little sad but cleared her throat and grabbed Chris's shirt.

"Sit down, Chris, or your sausage will get cold."

He did as told and looked at Riza.

"Auntie Riza, if it weren't for you I wouldn't have survived Yock Island."

"Oh, is that so? Why do you say that?"

"Because I kept having this dream where you say to me, 'Don't go where I can't follow'. So I decided that I would make it off the island and make sure I was here so that that didn't happen. I also made up my mind with that in mind: I'm gonna marry you when I grow up, Auntie Riza."

Riza's tea immediately ended up all over the table as an explosion of it erupted from her cup when she had gone to drink it. Edward casually wiped off his sleeve as Mason sighed, since he had been the one in front of her. Izumi got up and grabbed some towels as Sig glared at Chris.

"Chris, there are things you say to a lady and that's not one of them…"

Chris blushed. "Sorry, Auntie Riza…"

"It- it's fine, Chris. It's an _amusing_ goal at least. I'm really sorry Mason."

"It's alright. It was a bit surprising."

Chris was embarrassed and looked down and over at Edward's lap there he had his hands at the moment. He noticed how one of his hands was larger than the other under the gloves he had on. He turned his head at that and decided to ask about it later.

Despite the odd interruption, dinner went smoothly from there on.

* * *

"I'm glad you figured out the riddle, my little firefly." Izumi said as she tucked Chris in to bed.

"Me too. I was afraid you'd leave me on there again!" Izumi chuckled. "Mom?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Can I tell you something?"

"Of course."

"Is it wrong that I don't feel the same?"

"What do you mean?"

"I feel like… well… I don't feel like me. I mean, I do but I don't. It's confusing…"

Izumi nodded a little and kissed his forehead.

"I understand."

"And does Uncle Ed have automail?"

"Yes, he does."

"Cool! I never knew that! He always wears those gloves… Gloves…"

Chris went into a small daze and Izumi frowned, shaking him.

"Chris." He looked at her. "What happened? Why did you do that?"

"It happened on the island a lot. I'd say something or do something and then… then I'd just start remembering this stuff. Then I'd come out of it and remember nothing. I'm really confused."

Although worried, Izumi kissed his forehead and tucked him in.

"We'll worry about that another time. Get some well deserved sleep, Firefly."

Roy nodded. "Love you, Mom."

"I love you too."

She left the room in worry.

* * *

Edward looked at Riza with an angry expression and she looked away.

"You carved the alchemical array for fire into his back? Colonel, how could you do that?!"

"I had no _choice_!" she seethed. "The whole place was going down."

"How do you even know what it is? The Colonel- Chris is the only one I know who could use it."

"My father taught him the basic array but he didn't teach him the deeper things. Roy could only make flames with the ignition gloves he had but he could never do it from himself or control the flames because my father found out he was going into the military. He told him he wouldn't continue his teachings and then he died. I… I know the array because it's tattooed on my back as well. I studied that array ever since it was put there and knew it by heart, although I could never do anything with it. When we were in that lab, I knew that Roy had the knowledge of it, even though he was a baby. If I could just give him enough information to control the flames… It was the lesser of the evils."

"But how did you even do it that fast?"

"As I said, just as someone who is skilled in alchemy can easily remember transmutation circles for whatever purpose they need, I knew that one array to a fault. The one on Chris isn't even complete…"

"I see…"

The two looked over at Izumi walked onto the porch. She looked at Riza.

"Gloves… did your superior have gloves?"

"Yes. He had ignition gloves… why?"

"Because he's having flashbacks of things. He's starting to go into dazes of memories and now he's confused. I think it's time we tell him who he really is."

"Now? But he's so young…"

Izumi pulled out the bottle of serum that was half there.

"If I give this to him, he will be about eleven or twelve. I got around having to explain the growth before because he was a child. This will be different and we can explain then."

"No." The women looked at Edward. "We can't explain that to him… There is no way on this earth that we could explain that to him. In fact, now that I see him, it would be detrimental to try and do that."

"What are you saying?" Riza asked, wide eyed.

"You're asking that kid to realize that his life is a lie. The mother he loves is a woman who never knew him, the woman he looks up to was his subordinate as well as me. To take that away from him for the sake of us is… cruel. I thought we all agreed that trying to make him something he isn't was wrong. This is also wrong."

"Then… the memories…"

"Let _him_ figure it out. If he asks questions, we answer them, but we do _not_ put ideas in his head. He has a life here with a loving family and people who care about him. The memories will fix themselves up but they are jumbled because of the memory folds from remembering his adult life as a child and now it's coming back. We knew this but… telling him he is another person is kind of cruel. All it will do is make him doubt everything in his life."

Riza didn't like it but she understood what Edward was saying.

Izumi held the serum up.

"Do we still give him this?"

"That is up to you, Teacher. It's not our decision. All that does is make him grow up, not change his perception of life. I'm going for a walk."

He left as Riza and Izumi looked at each other in worry.

* * *

Chris yelled awake and looked around the room. He was in his room where he was supposed to be. _Where was I? It felt so real… Who was that guy in the mirror? Was that me?_ Chris got up and use the bathroom and splash some water on his face. When he got there, he did his business and then splashed the water on his face and looked into the mirror. He jumped back into the door, looking at the person in the mirror. It was moving like him and acting like him but he looked a little older. He leaned forward and touched his face and reeled back again in shock.

It was _him_.

He couldn't let his mother see him like this. He began to panic. He had to run away… Yeah… He would run away. If his mother saw him that way she would think he was a freak and turn him out anyway so… He quickly gathered his belongings into a small duffel bag and headed outside toward the boat and set his bag in there. He grabbed the oars and pushed off, jumping in. He'd live on Yock Island… _Yeah… That's a good idea._

* * *

Edward watched Chris from the window as he smoked a cigarette. He'd picked up the bad habit from Havoc but only did it when he was stressed. He usually grabbed on from the carton and took it, just in case but never brought the carton. It kept him in control. The stress of what to do with Roy- Chris-

"Jesus, why couldn't you just keep your name?" Edward growled to the figure who was pushing the boat off. "Well, at least I know where you're going…" he mumbled.

Edward had had a feeling this would happen, considering the first time the age changing occurred, but Riza and Izumi had assured him that Chris would be fine. Edward knew he wouldn't. _One point for Elric._ he thought to himself as he put out the cigarette and took down his ponytail to go to sleep.

* * *

 **so as papa-eddy suspected, chris would not take well to the age changing. if he didn't take to this, how could he comprehend and be alright with knowing he was a different person altogether? it is a bit cruel to just tell someone, oh by the way you're not really you but someone else and your life is a lie. so edward understands that. plus, he was there most of the times when roy changed so he empathized with him a lot**

 **and the marriage thing was also a shout out to BACKWARDS when roy and riza went to get juice. it was something that kept him going. poor dear...**


	10. Chapter 10

**super duper on accident short chapter. but it's all philosophical and sorry in advance for ed's weirdo rant. i think it makes sense. please tell me if it doesn't**

* * *

The next day, Izumi went to go wake up Chris but found that he was not in the bed. She looked all over the house but couldn't find him. Upon informing Riza and Edward, everyone began to look around for him.

* * *

"He knows the town like the back of his hand." Mason said, putting his coat on. "I'll go and see if he decided to sneak into town or something."

"What use would he have in town, Mason?" Izumi growled to him.

"What if he remembered his past and went back to Central?" Riza thought with a horrified look.

"I highly doubt that." Edward said, the only one looking calm. "If he were to remember his old self, I think he'd either beat me up or demand to know where in the world he was."

"Why would he beat you up?" Riza asked. "I'd think he'd beat _me_ up."

"He'd beat me up for getting involved too or something like that. You knew him better than me, Colonel." He said with a nonchalant shrug.

Izumi was staring at him intently and she pointed suddenly.

"You know something. You're not telling us something and it's really pissing me off."

Edward made a face. "Teacher, whatever do you mean?"

Riza looked between the two as Izumi growled and slammed her hands on the table.

"Don't play around with me! Where is my son?! You _know_ where he is! This isn't a game, Edward!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" he snarled, slamming his hands on the table as well. "I know _exactly_ where he is but I'm not telling you."

"Why not?! What gives you the right-"

"You're not his mother, Teacher." He said softly. Izumi's face softened suddenly. "You're not his mother, Sig isn't his father, I'm not his uncle, and Riza isn't his aunt. _None of us_ have the right to do _anything_.

"We all fell into roles that were forced upon us, but we have no rights to do anything. I've mentioned this before, even when Roy and I checked out the serum from before, and I never liked it. I've always had a bad feeling about the serum and one of the first things I said about it was that it was wrong to play with people's lives like that. No one has the right to toy with a life. If you believe in God, then only he has that right because you believe he made life. If you don't believe in him, then only you have that right.

"All is one and one is all… that's what you've taught us, Teacher. That philosophy only applies to the way we work in harmony with the world around us, not the people. We are not all people and all people are not us. We work together but as individuals. Although people think they are better than others, we are _not_. If we get mad at those who commit mass genocide, or have slaves, or sell people for profit then who are we to say it's alright to fuck up a man's brain?"

"But Edward, we didn't do that. Those crazy Homunculus people did. Why are you trying to sum us up with the people you just mentioned?" Riza asked, very confused at Edward's anger.

"Because everyone seems to not care about Chris, but all about _Roy_ ; except you, Teacher. Even you, Colonel. This is all about getting _Roy_ back and making Chris forget himself. Well he can't. I put you into this, Teacher, because you did some of this for your own selfish gain."

"Me? What are you driving at?"

"Ugh!" Edward growled, throwing his hands in the air. "How are you all missing the point?!"

"Well, you _did_ kind of spew off a ramble there, Ed." Mason said, having stayed due to Izumi's proclamation before. "Tell us what you're trying to say."

"I know no one caused the initial changes and that this is what Roy wanted but I think we should have just told him from the beginning who he was and what was happening. What we did here, all of this, was toying with his life. We turned him into a different person with a different life and yet we expect him not to remember his old life when it leaks through because we want to keep him one way," he said, motioning to Izumi. "And then we don't take into consideration the new life that was given because we expect the old life to leak through and he will return to us." He said, motioning to Riza.

"This sort of thing is what I mean. We should have never mixed the two things together unless by happenchance. Colonel, if you were going to do what Roy asked and give him a new life, as hard as it was, we both should have left it at that. Not hoped for remembrance, not given him serums, not even visited. Not unless he remembered and asked for us or met us somewhere. We should not have been a part of his life. But the opposite is true… if we had just told him who he was, this wouldn't be so bad."

Everyone was silent because they knew that everyone was selfish about the situation at hand.

"You're right, Edward." Riza said, breathing in. "I take full responsibility in this because I brought Mrs. Curtis into it by asking her to do things that should have been left alone. I didn't really fulfill the wish of my superior because I was selfish… I should have never kept myself in his life."

"I'm guilty as well." Izumi said. "I should have just given him the full serum at the designated time so he wouldn't remember changing and lived the rest of his life. I was selfish because I didn't get to have my own child and wanted to enjoy him. Edward is right, he's not my child; he's a man. I knew that from the beginning but…"

"Edward, where is Chris?" Sig asked softly. "What has been done is done but going off of that, he may be in trouble if memories from more worse times in his life start creeping in."

"Sig's right, Ed." Mason said. "Ever seen him have a memory attack?"

"Memory attack?" everyone said pretty much at the same time.

Mason looked between them.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'memory attack'?" Izumi asked angrily.

"You never knew?"

"What is it, Mason?" Riza growled.

"Well, when I was on the island with him, watching over him to make sure he was alright, sometimes he would be talking to himself and he would say a word that triggered a memory. I guess without someone to take him out of it, the memory would hit him full force. If I didn't know what was happening, I would have said that he was crazy. He would scream and yell and I had to keep him from breaking his nose because he was trying to bash his head against a tree from whatever memory was coming through. Sometimes he'd just curl up into a ball and cry, crying out for someone named Maes and his death. It was tragic really…"

Izumi grabbed Mason by the collar and slammed him against the wall.

"AND YOU DIDN'T MENTION THIS FOR A REASON?!"

She coughed, blood spewing from her mouth at the excitement, and she dropped Mason quickly.

"Izumi!" Sig yelled, grabbing his wife. He looked at Edward. "Find Chris, please…"

Edward nodded and left the house, looking for another boat.

* * *

 **so that's edward's view on everything. he's had a lot to think about during the years and this is what he has come up with. i made him mention 'if you believe in god' because edward is atheist but he knows not everyone is. all in all, everyone's a selfish whore and poor chris-roy had to deal with it. although ed is not at fault somewhere i'm sure...**


	11. Chapter 11

**double chapter because this was gonna be attached to the other but i felt it was anti-climatic to attach it. anyhow, to make up for the two short chaps, here's a long one! enjoy! and warning: angst and drama llama. i'm sorry!**

* * *

When Edward got to Yock Island, he found Chris' stuff just like he thought he would but he didn't see Chris.

"Chris?!" he yelled, hoping he was just hanging around.

When no one came when he called, Edward looked down and saw footsteps in the sand. He followed them, leaving his jacket in the boat to make it easier to brush through the trees.

"Chris?! Come on out, buddy! I'm not going to be mad! I know you don't look the same but I'll believe you! CHRIS!" he yelled, a panic stuck in his throat.

As he looked around, he spotted a tarp looking thing in the distance and walked toward it. As he moved closer to it, he could pick up slight sniffling noises and crying. He followed the noises forward until he finally reached the shelter and saw someone curled up in a ball in the middle of it.

Edward moved closer, careful to be as quiet as he could for the moment. He could see the black hair underneath an arm and was happy to know it was Chris.

"Chris…" Edward said softly.

Startling him, Chris gasped and turned to him swiftly. Edward saw the confusion and terror and anguish in his eyes as he seemed to have trouble processing his surroundings or who he was even staring at.

"It's me. It's Uncle Ed… er, Edward Elric… Fullmetal?"

"Full… metal… Fullmetal… Edward… Ed… Ed…" He smacked his head in confusion. "I know it… I know that name…"

Edward walked closer to him but Chris moved backwards, truly afraid of him. Edward just knelt down so he was at least eye level with him.

"Take your time, Chris, I know it's hard to comprehend everything."

"That's not my name!" he screamed and then he whimpered. "Right? Right… no… wait…"

 _This is exactly what I feared would happen._ Edward thought as he watched in helplessness as Chris tried to sift through all the jumbled, new, and folded memories that his brain was offering him.

"Who am I?" he finally asked, looking at Edward pitifully. "Fullmetal, who am I? Wait… no… Uncle Ed? No… Wait, who are _you_?"

Edward finally got on his hands and knees and crawled slowly towards Chris as he still tried to figure out what was going on. He got closer than he thought when Chris finally looked up. He tried to move but Edward put his arms up.

"Don't! I'm not going to hurt you. Think for just a second-"

"I _CAN'T_ THINK!" he screamed.

"Shh, shh, I know but try. Focus on my hair and eyes. You only know one person who looks like me and that's me. Focus on that…"

Chris stared at him for a moment and then seemed to find some recognition. Edward inwardly sighed at some confusion leaving Chris' eyes and he held his hand out to him.

"Did you find out who I am?"

"Edward... Elric?"

"That's right. You know me by some other names too but I'm still the same person."

"What other names?"

"Ed, Edward, Fullmetal… recently Uncle Ed."

Chris seemed to search his memory.

"Fullmetal Pipsqueak."

Edward made a face. "I hope you forget that one but… yes…"

"Edward…" He nodded to himself. "I got it…"

"Alright, now in all of your memories, does the person who looks like me ever hurt the person who looks like you?"

Chris searched his memory again.

"No." He looked at Edward's outstretched hand. "You are… safe… right?"

"Yes. I would never hurt you."

Chris thought about it for a second and then seemed to look at Edward intensely.

"Uncle Ed?"

 _Well it's something._ he thought. "Yeah, it's me."

Chris slammed into him and began to cry uncontrollably, sobbing into Edward's shoulder.

"Uncle Ed, what's going on?! Who am I? Who's Roy?! Why does he look like me?!"

Edward held him in his arms and pat him on the back.

"It's alright, Chris. Just calm down…"

"I couldn't remember anything but I could all at one time and I'm so confused and my head hurts and my nose hurts and-"

Edward laughed a little as he sat up and pushed Chris away, his face red with both blood and a flushed face and snot and tears. Edward smiled and put his hand on Chris' cheek.

"First of all, your nose is broken. You must have whacked yourself in the face," _with a tree_ , he added in his head as he saw the blood mark on the bark of a tree. "at some point. Second, your head hurts because you're crying too hard. Now, you're going to have to let me set your nose and it's gonna hurt but we have to do it now, okay?"

Chris nodded as Edward set his nose right and wiped the blood away. He then wiped the tears away as Chris sniffled a little, looking at Edward.

"I want to go home." He said softly.

Edward smiled and stood up, holding out his hand. Chris took it and Edward led him to the boats. He tied them together and headed back to the mainland.

* * *

Riza looked at Izumi.

"Am I a bad person?"

"If you are then I am." She said, putting her hand over her stomach. "We both used the situation to our advantages. We were wrong… we both love him in a different way and we both wanted that love to shine through… just without realizing the expense it would have on Chris."

"I think Edward is right and we need to pick what we're going to do. Are we going to tell him that he is really Roy Mustang or are we going to let him continue to be Chris Curtis?"

They were silent when Sig brought Izumi some tea.

"Thank you, Sig."

"I've come to a decision about the boy."

"Oh?"

"I think it would be best for everyone if we let him be Chris. I'm not saying that because I think of him as my son now, I'm saying it because he will eventually find out he is Roy Mustang all on his own. How, I don't know, but I know he will. You made a promise to him that you would give him a new life, this is it. We promised that if he had military urges, we'd let him do it. Edward is right in that the boy is who he is and one of us has to let go."

"And as his subordinate, I should have done that a long time ago. I can see that now. This… will be my last time coming here."

Izumi felt a little bad and grabbed Riza's hand.

"We'll still tell him about you though."

"No. Don't. Not unless he actually asks. After this I'm going to tell Dr. Humphrey to forget the growth serum. I will ask for only one more serum: something to control the folding thoughts." Riza frowned. "Actually he owes me that much, considering he said nothing odd would happen. Besides, it's been six years, I think he is more than capable of fixing this up."

"Izumi, Edward is back with Chris. He looks _bad_."

Izumi looked at Riza and Sig and she held out her hands.

"Honey, take me out there."

He lifted her up gently as Riza followed them outside.

* * *

Edward adjusted his glasses before he hauled the heavy preteen into his arms and carried him toward the house. The mental confusion and all the crying made Chris pass out on the boat ride back. As he carried him to the house, Sig, Riza, and Izumi all walked out and Riza looked at Chris in horror.

"What happened?"

"Massive memory attack. We need a doctor to come and make sure his nose is set right."

"His nose?"

"Looks like without Mason there to keep him from hurting himself, he actually did slam his head into a tree and broke his nose. Must have either happened last night or this morning. When I get him situated, Colonel, I need to have a discussion with you."

"Same here." She said.

Edward put Chris in his room on the bed and took off some of his clothing. As he took his shirt off, he noticed the scar of the flame array and touched it softly, taking in the detail that had been done on a baby's back and was looked like scribble now. He shook his head and then took Chris' pants off to his underwear and covered him up with the blanket. He left the room and Riza motioned for him to walk outside with him.

* * *

She turned to him and breathed in.

"I've made the decision to let Chris be Chris. After this trip, we will no longer come to visit him, talk with him or even check up on him. He is a boy we know nothing about."

"I… think that's for the best."

"With that being said, I'm going to be calling Dr. Hamilton to come out here and bring only one last serum."

Edward frowned. "I thought you just said-"

"Not one to make him grow, one to even out his memories. I don't know what you saw but if the memories are so bad that he would try to beat it out of his own head to stop them, then this is a problem."

"I've never seen anything like it." Edward said, running his fingers through his hair. "It was like he knew but didn't know all at the same time. He would call me Fullmetal, which is right, but then say I was Uncle Ed and then get confused again. It was heart wrenching."

"I'm sorry you had to see that. We will fix him and then we will leave and do as he had asked six years ago. We will leave him be."

"I was hoping you would say that… although he did ask who Roy was. I think he'll keep asking about him. I think Teacher _should_ tell him about Roy Mustang, just not as if he were him but as if he were someone to look up to. Chock it up…"

"I think you're right. If she makes it too grand, he'll try to strive to be just like himself. Knowing him, he'll want to follow himself."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah… Maybe we'll be lucky and he'll come to the military."

Riza looked at the house. "Maybe if we're lucky, he _won't_."

* * *

Jean walked to the laboratory with Alphonse and Jean turned to him.

"Keep in mind that this guy is working on some weird stuff. Don't touch anything, okay?"

"I'm not a child anymore, Havoc." He said with a frown.

"I know you're not, Al, but you saw what happened to Roy by doing stuff like this. We don't need anyone else getting caught up in this madness."

Alphonse rolled his eyes, not needing to be told twice about that. He saw what it did to Roy and knew he didn't want anything to do with that. He saw what it did to his _brother_ and if he got caught up in it, he knew Edward would just go die somewhere probably.

They opened the door and was surprised to see Dr. Hamilton chasing after a young kid.

"Give that back to me before you trip, damnit!" he yelled.

"Come and get it, Father dear… Oh, you have visitors." The boy said, stopping and looking at Jean and Alphonse. "Welcome to the labs, sirs."

Jean looked at the boy and he looked oddly familiar to him. Dr. Hamilton grabbed whatever had been taken from him and looked at Jean and Alphonse.

"Oh, Lieutenant Havoc, Major Elric, what a surprise to see you here."

"Why does this kid look so familiar?"

"This is my son, Crimson. You met him before."

"Ah, I see. He's grown into a… fine young man." Jean lied.

"Save it, Smokey. I can smell your lie like I smell your cigarettes."

"Crimson… I'm sorry about that. Why don't you go do something else with your time instead of annoying me."

"Whatever you say, Father-of-mine. I wouldn't want to get in the way of the officers here… Say, how old do you have to be to get into the military? I hear that Elric guy got in when he was twelve years old."

"He was an exception to the rule. You have to have your daddy's consent before you can even try to apply. Maybe when you're older." Jean said with a pat to Crimson's black haired head.

Crimson glared at him with his blue eyes and then gave a grin that made Jean shiver.

"I'm sure Father dear would be kind enough to let me do the assessment. I'm a smart cookie too. You don't have to be a golden boy to impress those in higher ranking…"

He left and Jean looked at the doctor.

"Your kid gets weirder every year."

"No kidding…" Dr. Hamilton mumbled. "Anyway, what is it you needed?"

"The Colonel was wondering if you have figured out a way to keep the memories from double overlapping in any of your trials yet."

"Why yes I have actually. Why?"

"You'll need to go to Dublith then and deliver it to her. She needs it for Chris."

Dr. Hamilton frowned. "Whatever for? I did warn her that he would still have memories of his old self when he grew up."

"Yeah but he almost had a mental breakdown because of it." Jean said. "She called me telling me he gets memory attacks where all the memories come together and he can't remember but can all at the same time. You said he would only remember whatever age he was. So fix it."

Dr. Hamilton made a face but nodded. "Alright, I'll give you a vial of it but it will still have the effects of the serum since that's what it's tied to."

"She also said she didn't want you to make a batch for him. They have decided not to mess with his life anymore."

"I see. Then I will give him something that will regress him only a year."

"Are you serious?" Jean growled. "Regression again?"

"As I said, the memory segment is attached to the original intent of the serum. The serums are used to regress or progress, unfortunately, but I have perfected the serum so that certain measurements equal certain aging processes. As such, it makes it easier to perfect the aging process. Of course, this was in regards to your superior but… it should still work."

"So what are the directions and I hope you're not screwing around with us. If something happens to him _again_ because of you, I will personally ask if I can execute you." Jean growled.

"Havoc…" Alphonse said, touching his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that, Dr. Hamilton."

"The feeling is understandable and I don't take offense at all. I was there to hear the complications from before and I would be wary of the mention of the serum again as well. I promise that I have been putting everything into perfecting the serum in the course of trying to get your superior back. I will get a batch ready. I can't leave the lab so I'll write instructions for you and one of you will have to deliver it. I'm sorry."

Jean rolled his eyes but the two waited for Dr. Hamilton to make the serum and Alphonse volunteered to go to Dublith and deliver it.

* * *

 **i feel like i keep repeating myself just in different characters. i apologize about that and the big angst fest upstairs. anyway, ah that serum comes back. can we trust dr. hamilton with it? and crimson makes me snicker**


	12. Chapter 12

The doctor finished taking Chris' vitals and took the stethoscope earpieces from his ears and sticking it back in his bag. Chris was still unconscious, although he at least was sleeping halfway decently. Edward was waiting for the doctor to finish up his tests and get a result.

"Well?"

"Well, his nose was just a little crooked but I put it back correctly and it's bandaged to keep it straight while it heals. He has a high fever but with some ice water and good hydration he'll get over that. His sleeping seems undeterred by whatever problems he had before. Other than that, his vitals are fine."

"And the fact that he's been asleep for almost three days straight is a good thing?"

"From what was described to me as a mental attack, just because it was in his head doesn't mean it didn't have anything to do with the body. Fear makes a person shiver and shivering is a way that the body stays active in the cold or from fear. Your muscles are clinched together and that puts a lot of strain on the body just like any other workout would do. Not only was he mentally exhausted, but physically. So, yes, being asleep for this long is not uncommon nor is it life threatening. His body is just worn out."

Edward nodded, just making sure that everything was going to be alright. He wished he could have had another cigarette, but he smoked it the other night. He hoped Alphonse didn't get all annoying and act like he forgot the pack at the house that he had asked him to bring.

"Well, if that's all I'll need to do then I'll be going. Tell Mrs. Curtis I'll send her the bill-"

"Send it to me instead. I'll pay for it."

"Alright then."

Edward watched the doctor leave and he watched Chris for a moment as he slept. He walked over to him and touched his forehead, noticing that it was quite warm as the doctor had said. He walked out of the room and into the kitchen to get some ice water for him.

* * *

Riza was in the kitchen with Izumi as the doctor explained the same thing he had just explained to Edward when he walked in from the back.

"Do you have any ice, Teacher?"

"I've got a block out there in the butchery. Ask Sig and he'll break a piece off for you."

Edward nodded and walked to the butchery in the back.

Sig and Mason were cutting up meat in the locker when Edward went back there. Mason turned when he heard the door open and smiled.

"Eddy, what brings you in the shop? I don't think I've ever seen you in here."

"I usually was afraid of Teacher and Sig having a fight and there are lots of sharp objects around."

Mason laughed. "That's true. I usually just leave if things get heated. Anyway, what can I do for ya?"

"Teacher said that you have a block of ice that I could have a small chunk of? I need it to put in a bowl for Chris."

"Ah. I'll ask the boss if he can cut you a chunk. Hold on one second."

Mason went to get the ice and Edward looked around. He could see Chris working in here with Sig and Mason, learning the trade. It made him smile to know that he would definitely be standing in this very room soon. Maybe he could even do a little flame display or something… but then he realized that this wouldn't be enough for Chris. He _would_ have the desire to go into the military just like his old self. He would want to try and change the world…

"Here you go; this enough?"

Edward smiled and took the chunk with his metal hand.

"Yup, perfect; thanks, Mason."

"Anytime, Eddy."

Edward left and went to the kitchen to get a bowl set up for Chris.

* * *

A day later, there was a knock at the door and Sig opened it. Alphonse waved at him from below, still so short compared to the big man.

"Hey, Sig… Is Teacher in?"

"Alphonse, you've grown." He said with a smile.

"Yeah…" Alphonse said, laughing a little.

Sig let him in and he went to the kitchen, where Riza and Izumi were sharing a pot of tea.

"Hey, Colonel; hello, Tea- wahhh!" he yelled, ducking a knife throw from Izumi.

"Where have you been?!" she growled.

"I-I'm sorry, Teacher, I got delayed in Rush Valley when I was given Winry the updates on Chris' condition and everything. The train left before I could get there. I'm sorry…"

Edward came out of the room where Chris was and saw Alphonse standing there.

"Hey, Al, did you bring my cigarettes?"

"Uh…"

Edward made a face. "Seriously?"

"Well, I did, but they got squished…" he said, holding out the squished pack of cigarettes.

Edward made another face and sighed. "Fine, I guess I'll have to go into town and get some…"

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" Alphonse growled.

"I was keeping my 'when I need it policy' up and I knew if I had the whole pack with me I'd smoke half of it due to the stress."

"Why don't you just stop in general?"

"Boys, please." Riza said, silencing them. "Al, did you bring what I asked for?"

"Sure did. But I have to tell you how it works because it's a little different than the ones from before."

"Alright…"

"First off… well… he said that there is no way to extract the memory issue from the actual formula so… he said that this will regress him a year."

"WHAT?!" Riza yelled, standing up with anger in her eyes. "You mean to tell me that he will regress _again_?!"

"Wait! That's the thing though! He said that he perfected that formula to only regress exactly how we want it…"

"What do you mean?"

"He said the problem with Dr. Striker's formula is that it was kind of an absolute type of thing. It would pick and choose itself on how it wanted to regress or progress. This time, Dr. Hamilton made it to where certain amount of the serum would do certain ages. Kind of like the serum he gave us the first time. He said it would age Chris five years, and it did. He's perfected it even more since then and now every cc is a month. So, he gave me 12ccs of the serum because in order for the Colonel's brain to even out, he said the aging process would need to go along with that."

Riza put her hands to her temples, kneading them in worry. Alphonse went over to her and grabbed her hands into his.

"Colonel, I know you're worried about what will happen but unlike Dr. Striker, Dr. Hamilton's serums have been true to his word. Whatever had said would happen when the Colonel was given them, happened. I trust Dr. Hamilton's work more than Dr. Striker's any day. If the Colonel had such a horrible meltdown from before, we should be willing to try anything to get him back to semi-normal. Right?"

Riza sighed and looked at him, nodding her head.

"You're right. We've clowned around enough and it's true that Dr. Hamilton's serums have been more effective as well as more true to his statements than any of Dr. Striker's… then again, those odd Homunculus people were messing with Dr. Striker's serums… Either way, we need to fix him and we need to do it now. Izumi, are you willing to let us give him this one last serum?"

"Yes." She said with a firm resolve.

Riza nodded and got up.

"I'll do it."

Alphonse handed her the vial and they went into the room, Edward following.

* * *

Chris had been asleep for such a long time that when he woke up, he had a hard time figuring out where he was. He then remembered it was home and looked around a little bit. There was a bowl of ice water next to him and a cold rag on his head. He touched it and then took it off. He noticed his nose was covered in a bandage but then remembered he had broken it sometime before. He saw the door open and Riza, Alphonse, and Edward all walked in.

"Auntie Riza, Uncle Ed, Uncle Al…"

Edward was the first to go to him, sitting on the side of the bed.

"Hey, how you feeling?"

"Exhausted and tired… What happened?"

"You had a mental breakdown of sorts and well… you hurt yourself."

"Oh… Uncle Ed, what's wrong with me? Why do I get that way?"

"Shh, shh… don't think too hard right now. We're going to give you something to help with all those memories, okay?"

"Will I forget you guys?"

"No. It'll just help straighten everything out." Alphonse said, walking over.

"Uncle Ed, why do I look like this anyway? I mean… I used to be little and then I wasn't and… Where's my mom?"

"She's in the kitchen. She doesn't know what you're awake yet." Riza said, walking over. "Don't worry about your growth spurt, alright?"

"But will Mom still love me? I'm not the same anymore. I'm… I'm not the same…"

"She knows exactly who you are and will love you no matter what." Riza said, touching his face. "We came to give you something to help ease your mind and get everything straightened out though. Can you hold out your arm for me?"

Chris did as Riza asked and she pulled in the liquid into the syringe.

"Was there a certain amount I should or shouldn't give?"

"He said the months are to days so ever cc will be a month. Twelve ccs is a year and will take twelve days to fully reduce."

"I see… Well, we'll just give him the whole thing then."

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked in confusion.

"Nothing…"

Riza loaded the syringe with 6ccs, gave it to him and then another 6ccs. When she was done she smiled and touched his face again.

"You should feel better in a couple of days, alright?"

Chris nodded, yawning. "I'm tired…"

"We'll let you sleep. You may not see us in the morning because we have to go back to Central."

He nodded again as Alphonse and Riza left. Edward watched Chris for a moment when he turned to leave.

"Fullmetal?"

The name said by him made Edward stop immediately, a chill running up his spine. He turned to Chris, whose eyes were only slits.

"Take care of Riza for me…"

Edward smiled, saluting.

"Of course, sir."

Chris turned over mumbling, "You're so weird, Uncle Ed…"

Edward smiled again, knowing it must have been a side effect of the serum as it straightened out Chris' thoughts.

* * *

Izumi watched the three military figures walk out of the room and Riza put the syringe on the table.

"It will take him twelve days to regress one year and the thoughts should be put back in place."

"Alright then."

"Also, Teacher, he thinks you won't love him so…"

"I see. I'll do everything I can to make sure he knows I have nothing against his 'growth spurt'."

"Also, there's one thing that we would like for you to do for him." Edward said. "The Colonel and I think it would be best if you actually told Chris about Roy Mustang. But not as himself but as a person."

"I know nothing about Roy Mustang."

"I can give you everything you need to know about him." Riza said. "We want you to make Roy seem like the best soldier there is, because he was a good soldier, a good person. He entered the military to make things better and though he had to travel through a road paved with dirt and blood, he knew he would change this country one way or another. Plus, Roy is the only one I know that could do Flame Alchemy as well. Make him relatable."

Izumi made a face. "I can try… The deal still remains about his military wants, correct? I won't keep him from it and you won't make him go to it?"

"That's right."

"The Mustang thing is in regards to his memories. If he wants to know who Roy Mustang is, then tell him."

"I see… I guess you guys are leaving then?"

"Yes we need to get back to Central."

Izumi nodded and hugged the boys and shook Riza's hand.

"Well, it was nice to see you all again and we will see how life treats us all, right?"

"Right."

The three of them left and Izumi watched them through the window. Sig came up behind her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You going to be alright?"

"Of course… Too much secrecy but yes, I'll be alright. I think the question is will _they_ be alright?"

"I think, together, they'll do fine. Come on, let's go see Chris."

Sig led her off to Chris' bedroom.

* * *

 **well, chris will now be chris with no one to mess around his brain with. everyone is leaving him be. but, as we all know, roy mustang is still inside of him and he will want to change the world. it'll just be a little different than before. and i hope that serum thing made sense.**


	13. Chapter 13

Six more years went by and Chris had not a care in the world. He worked with Sig in the butchery, learning the trade, and was known throughout Dublith as a helpful and thoughtful young man. The girls all loved him and he used to impress them with his flame alchemy, although he was still trying to get used to it.

As he went to town so that he could deliver some meat to a couple of people, he saw some military personnel walking down the street. It never failed that he would stop in his tracks and watch them fervently, as if he were drawn to them. A pain in the head distracted him and he put his hand to his forehead, hissing in pain. He shook his head and continued to deliver meat to those who needed it delivered.

* * *

"Chris, what's wrong?" Izumi asked during dinner.

"Huh?"

"You've been spacey the whole meal. What's on your mind?"

"It's just… well… I was thinking that maybe… um…" He rolled some peas around on his plate. "I was thinking that I'd like to travel a little, ya know?"

"Travel?"

"Yeah…"

"Why?" Izumi asked.

"Well, I read the newspaper and I see so much crime happening and I want to try and do something about it."

"So you want to be a police officer?" Mason asked, eating his third turkey leg.

"I was thinking more of the military."

Everything went silent and he looked up as everyone looked at him.

"Why would you want to do that?" Izumi asked, trying not to sound panicked.

"Well, it's just, my flame alchemy has to be good for _something_ other than helping to light the stove or the fireplace, putting on little displays, and impressing women. I want to use it for good… like Roy Mustang did."

"So this is about Roy Mustang then." Sig said.

"Not really but he's kind of an inspiration. He's the only one I know could do flame alchemy and he was a hero of the Ishval War."

"Did you read about the rest of the war, Chris?"

"Well of course I did. I've read about all the wars. I know it wasn't a very good war and that the alchemists were forced to do some bad stuff, but Roy had ambition to try and change all of that. Seeing those outfits makes me want to do that too."

"So you want to change the world? At seventeen?"

"Not right now, but I can go ahead and get started…"

"And what if you die?"

"For some reason I don't think I will." He said with a confused look. "I know it sounds kind of haughty but I feel like I have the skills and knowledge not to get myself into that type of situation. Besides, Colonel Mustang went into the military about the same age as I was… and Uncle Ed went even younger. Twelve, Mom! _Twelve_!"

"As much as I hated that Edward went into the military, he did it because he needed access to ways to get Alphonse back to normal. You know the story of what happened… Edward had a purpose that was not selfish."

"My purpose isn't selfish either." Chris growled, standing up. "I want to help make this country a better place. I kind of wish _I_ was an orphan so I can make my own decisions."

He turned around and left the table as Izumi watched with a broken hearted stare. Sig touched her shoulder and she looked at him.

"We promised that we wouldn't try to deter him from the military, Izumi. He's right in that Roy Mustang entered into the military about the same age… He _is_ him and the timing is about right."

"But… He could get killed."

"Of course he could but I have a feeling that his memories will keep that from happening."

Izumi looked at Chris as he stood outside with his back facing the window. She didn't want him to go but not just because he would leave her… his words were a little more true than she wanted him to believe. She got up and headed outside to talk with him.

* * *

"Chris."

He turned but turned back.

"I don't want to talk."

"Then just listen… I understand your need for wanting to defend Amestris but it seems like you only want to do it because Roy Mustang did it. I could be wrong though… Mustang joined the military because of the issue with Ishval and some other border patrol things but… We're far from the borders and even though there is talk of war with Drachma, there's been talk of war with them for almost twelve years. They are like groundhogs: they pull in then they pull out almost constantly. The Briggs soldiers have been keeping them at bay all this time and not once has Amestris had to fight war with them. That and… I'm dying, Chris."

Christ turned swiftly to her and she smiled sadly, touching her stomach.

"We've tried everything to fix this issue but it's getting worse and worse the older that I get. I don't know how long I have, but the doctor said that it didn't look good. I don't want you to go because… because what if I die while you're gone? I don't want _you_ to hold that guilt, because I know you will. Sweetheart," she said, touching his face gently. "I want you to be happy but… I just don't want to miss that happiness."

Chris leaned into her hand and touched her face as well.

"I love you, Mom, and I don't want to miss what time you have left but… I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach about what's happening. It's true that Mustang did the same thing but I'm doing this because _I_ feel that something is amiss. There's something wrong with this country, Mom, and I think it starts with the military. Reading up on the Ishvalan War made me start the think about how things happen here. There's a pattern. It was so odd about the way that war started and then little petty battles about the country… I don't want to leave you anymore than you want me to, and it's going to be even harder knowing that you're suffering with your illness, but I _have_ to do this."

Izumi nodded and he hugged her tightly.

"I promise that I won't miss your last moments. I would even go AWOL just to be here before you go. I will check on you every week and if you start feeling that it's getting worse, I will come here."

"I know you would…"

"I'm going to change this place around, Mom."

Izumi smiled. "I have every confidence that you will."

* * *

Late that night, Izumi went to the phone and dialed the phone number on the piece of paper that she had. She waited and the phone picked up.

"Colonel-" The person yawned. "Elric speaking."

"I had a feeling you'd be there this late." She said.

"Teacher? Is that you?"

"Hello, Edward. I didn't believe it when you told me a couple of years ago and I still don't believe it now."

He laughed a little. "Now I know why Roy was such an asshole all the time. This paperwork is ridiculous. What do I owe the pleasure?"

"It's time."

There was silence on the other line and Izumi waited for him to speak.

"He's wanting to come here?"

"Yes."

"Great, just in time." He grumbled.

"Why, what's going on?"

"You know how Drachma acts like it doesn't know what it wants to do? Well, they finally decided and… they are advancing on Briggs as we speak. We expected them to pull out as usual but they've been steady. I think there is going to be a war soon."

"Damn it!"

"Do you still want to do this?"

"I promised that I wouldn't deter him and you all have kept your promise in not trying to persuade him. Just… just watch over him, alright?"

"Would I ever not? I'll try to finagle some paperwork around so he's under my jurisdiction anyway. Now that he's of age… there's some payback I would like to do to that bastard."

"Ed."

"Nothing bad, just enough to satisfy my revenge… Seriously, though, is he going to take the State Alchemy exam?"

"I'm sure he will."

"Then he should be fine for a while. Don't worry, Teacher, I'll make sure he stays in line."

"Of course Edward. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Get some sleep."

Edward laughed. "I will. Bye."

He hung up and Izumi smiled to herself if nothing else she could trust Edward to keep Chris safe. With that thought in mind, she felt better and went to bed.

* * *

 **so chris finally reveals that he wants to go to the military. and edward is moving on up! riza is still a colonel as well, jsyk. more into chris' military life coming soon!**


	14. Chapter 14

**One Month Later**

Chris got off the train at Central Station and looked around in awe. He'd never been to a big city before and the fact that just the station was bustling with crowds of people could only be a fraction of what it looked like in the streets. He looked around when he saw a flash of golden hair and ran to it.

"Uncle Ed!"

The person turned around and smiled.

"Hey, Chris, how was your ride?"

Chris flung himself into Edward's arms and they hugged.

"I missed you Uncle Ed…"

"I missed you too… How is everything? You've gotten a lot taller since I saw you." He said, pulling away from Chris.

"Yeah, I had a growth spurt."

Edward smiled at him, trying not to let the fact that he looked exactly like his former superior even more now that he was grown show through the happy occasion. He put his arm around Chris' shoulders and walked him out the station.

"Winry is happy to know you'll be staying with us for a little while."

"I've never met your wife. I didn't even know you had one."

"We got married a couple of years ago. You all were supposed to come but Teacher couldn't make it. How is she?"

Chris looked away, remembering what she had told him.

"She's not doing well. She said that the doctor said she doesn't have a lot of time. I told her I'd call her every week and check up on her. I'm not missing her final days, Uncle Ed."

"I know how you feel, kid. But we'll talk more about that when the day comes. I'm sure she's still beating people up though, eh?"

"Not as much as she used to but there will always be a what for with her."

Edward smiled. "No doubt about it. Come on."

* * *

Edward opened the door to his home and Winry poked her head out of the kitchen.

"Hey Ed. Oh, hey… um… Chris." She said looking at Edward in awe.

She had seen Roy Mustang before and knew what he looked like. She was there when he was a baby but seeing him for the first time again after that incident, she couldn't help but still see the superior man that Edward had always secretly looked up to.

"You must be Winry. Uncle Ed told me all about you. I'm sorry we missed the wedding." He said with a firm handshake to her.

She smiled. "No harm done. It's very nice to meet you as well. When Ed said you were going to stay with us until the open registration came available I was delighted."

Chris grinned at Edward and he smiled back at him.

"What do you do for a living, Mrs. Elric?"

"Actually I'm here on leave due to some, maternal issues." She said with a small smile.

Chris looked down at her stomach and saw that it was slightly pooched.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yes, I am. My boss told me I had to come home at least until the baby was born." She said with a small smile as she touched her slightly curved stomach.

Edward smiled lovingly at her but shook his head and grabbed Chris' shoulder.

"Come on, put your stuff up in your room. When you're done I'll take you on a personal tour of Central Headquarters."

"Wow, awesome! I'll be quick!" he said, running to the room.

When he was gone, Winry looked at Edward in worry.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Ed? I mean, he looks _just_ like the Colonel. His team is still there, right?"

"Yeah, they are. This needs to happen, Winry. We need to get all the Band-aids ripped off so that nothing is new for anyone. He needs to see everyone's faces and they need to see his. Get the shock done and over with."

Winry made a face but sighed.

"Alright then… I'm making stew tonight since it's your favorite."

"Thanks, Winry." He said with a kiss to her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her torso and put his chin on her shoulder. "You're the best wife a man could ask for."

"Well you needed someone to keep you in line, Colonel." She said with a smirk to him.

He laughed and kissed her again just as Chris came out.

"Ugh, can you not do that?" he asked.

Edward made a face and they headed to Central Headquarters.

* * *

"Welcome to Central." Edward said at the door and Chris looked up at it.

"Wow…"

"Teacher said you'll probably be taking the State Alchemy exam?"

"Yeah, I want to." He said, looking around.

"Have you practiced alchemy at all while you were with Teacher?"

"I dabbled in it a little bit after you left but after that I kind of stopped."

Edward frowned. "Why?"

"I don't know. There was nothing on it in regards to flame alchemy and that's really all the alchemy I know. I tried the other kind but I didn't like having to draw the symbols all the time and stuff. Mom used to just clap her fingers and stuff would happen but… I don't know…"

Edward didn't say anything else as he went through the hallways and then to the elevator to go up to the offices.

"Is Aunt Riza here?"

"She's up here with me. Our offices are about two down from each other."

He didn't stay anything again and Chris looked at him for a second. He was about his height even though he was older than Chris and his golden hair was in a ponytail that reached close to the middle of his back. His glasses were set upon his face and made him look quite distinguished and he looked suddenly very authoritative. His demeanor was much different than it was back at his home with his wife.

"Did I say something wrong?" Chris asked.

"No, why do you ask?"

"Because you're acting weird."

"How is that?"

"You're really different than just a minute ago."

"I'm different around Winry but this is how I usually am. You can ask Al if you need confirmation."

Chris made a face but they finally got to the floor they needed to be on and the doors opened. Edward stepped out with Chris behind and he looked around, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu. As he tried to figure out where he had seen this place before, he ran into someone and papers flew everywhere as he and the person both hit the ground.

"I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!" he said, sitting up and beginning to pick up the papers. "I wasn't paying attention…"

"Well now because of you, I'll have to go all through these again and have to put them back-" The two finally looked up and stared for a second. "Together…"

Chris stood up and held out his hand.

"I'm Chris Curtis…"

"Elicia Hughes… You… you look just like my father's friend."

"I do?"

"His name was Roy Mustang. He used to be a colonel here in Central."

"Oh, well, I mean, I know we have the same hair and eye colors and everything-"

"No… you look _exactly_ like him. He was like an uncle to me…"

"Wait, your father was friends with Colonel Roy Mustang?"

"They were best friends, according to my mother." She said, her green eyes looking a little downcast.

"He's my role model. We're alike in a lot of ways. I don't mean to be rude but, does your father work here? I'd love to meet him."

Elicia looked away. "He's um… he died when I was three."

"Oh! I'm _so_ sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"Chris, what's holding you up?"

Chris looked over as Edward glared at him and then saw who he was talking to.

"Sergeant Hughes, is there a reason those reports haven't gotten to their destination yet?"

"I'm sorry, Colonel. I ran into um… Chris, was it?" He nodded. "And he knocked the papers out of my hands."

"Well hurry up and sort them out and get them where they need to go."

"Yes, sir."

"Nice meeting you." Chris said, leaving and going with Edward. "Who is she?"

"Sergeant Elicia Hughes, she's on my team. Please refrain from delaying the soldiers from working."

"Sorry, I just bumped into her, I was trying to help her out… Hey, she said I look like Roy Mustang. I've never seen a picture of him; was she telling the truth?"

Edward adjusted is glasses. "No."

"Oh…"

He followed Edward down the hallway.

* * *

Riza was finishing up her paperwork when there was a knock on the door. She looked up as Edward stuck his head in.

"Edward, what brings you by?"

"I thought you may want to say hello."

She turned her head slightly as Edward opened the door more and Chris came in behind him. Chris looked over and beamed at her and it was all Riza could do to not go into sobs. It was exactly how she remembered him, like the first time they met.

"Auntie Riza! Er, um… Colonel Hawkeye." He said, saluting to her.

Edward made a face. "You didn't salute _me_."

"You don't look as threatening as her. Besides, if your demeanor hadn't changed from doting uncle to stick-in-ass, I would have saluted you too from the beginning."

Edward clenched his fist, ready to whack the kid in the head but he didn't and sighed.

"I'll be in my office. I have things to do."

"Wait, you're just gonna-" the door closed and Chris turned back to Riza. He cleared his throat. "It's been a while."

"Yes, it has. You've grown so much since last I saw you. Sit, please."

He sat in the chair in front of her and happened to look above her head at the wall.

"Wow, are those Colonel Roy Mustang's ignition gloves?"

Riza looked over her head at the framed gloves and smiled a little.

"Yes, they are."

"I wonder if I'll get some gloves like that."

"I highly doubt it. You're a little different that he was in regards to fire. You know how to create it without the gloves and he needed them."

Chris made a face. "Is it because of the symbol I have on me?"

"Possibly… Edward tells me you're going to go into the military academy and also take your State Alchemist exam. That's a lot of pressure."

"I can handle it, Hawkeye, piece of cake." He smacked his hand over his mouth and looked at her sheepishly. "I mean… I should do fine."

Riza blinked at him as he frowned in confusion over something.

"Are you alright?"

"This place… I feel like I'm having déjà vu or something. I've never been here though…"

"Colonel, I have those papers you asked for." Someone said as they walked in. They turned and smiled. "Hey, what's up Chris?"

"Havoc." He said with a simple nod. He shook his head again and put his hand to his forehead. "I mean… It's good to see you."

Jean looked at Riza who gave a small shrug and smiled back at Chris.

"Well it's good to see you, buddy. I hope you pass your exams."

"Th- thanks…"

He closed the door and Chris stood up, putting is hand to his head.

"I'm going to the bathroom. I'll be right back, Auntie Riza."

"Do you know where it is?"

"Yeah."

He walked out and went to the bathroom.

Once he was there, he filled his hands with water and splashed his face with it. He wiped it off and then looked in the mirror.

* * *

 _"What the hell did you think you were doing?!"_

 _"It's not what it seems, Fullmetal."_

 _"The hell it is! You were too set on becoming the Fuhrer so you got a little younger so that you could live past him, right? Are you that **proud**?"_

 _"Edward, I don't enjoy being accused of selfishness. Do I **look** like I decided one day I was going to grow younger? Huh? Does it truly look like I did this on purpose?!"_

* * *

Chris grabbed his head and staggered backwards, wondering where in the world that memory came from. What was Edward saying about him becoming Fuhrer? Becoming younger? He leaned on the section between the stalls and shook his head. As if it were a fleeting thing, the pain and the strange memory floated away from his mind. He looked at his hands and the mirror again and then touched his nose. It wasn't completely crooked but it wasn't completely straight either. He remembered vaguely hitting it, bashing it into a tree over and over and over-

"Chris?"

Chris looked over as the door opened and Alphonse came in. Chris' eyesight was playing tricks because it was Alphonse and then a large suit of armor and then Alphonse again.

"Chris, are you alright? The Colonel said you had to use the bathroom and you've been gone for fifteen minutes… Chris?"

"I need to get out of here. I need to go!"

He ran past Alphonse and started running down the hallway to the elevator. _I have to get out of here!_ he screamed in his mind.

* * *

 **it looks the familiarity is catching up with him. too much deja vu for a mind that it's really haveing deja vu to take. too many people, triggers... will he be able to even be a military person? he's roy mustang -er, chris curtis. he can do anything!**

 **and look, it's elicia! she's all grown up. and the books that chris would have read would not have had pictures in them so that's why edward said he didn't look like roy, because he's never seen pictures of him. he just knows what he looks like in general and his attributes.**

 **oh and about edward's demeanor change. he was happy to see roy and he's a doting husband but he takes his job in the military very seriously. when he steps into central headquarters, he is all formality until he gets home. he developed this habit for a reason... we'll see why**


	15. Chapter 15

**slight explanation of things but not really. more of an overall caution to our dear chris.**

* * *

Chris sat on the stairs of headquarters and tried to get his head together. Why had everything seemed so familiar and yet not? Was his mind playing tricks on him? He just needed to breathe, figure everything out when he was finally calm. He breathed in again and looked around. Everything was so different and strange from Dublith. Even though there was a city and such, Central was just so much bigger. He watched people traveling around the inner courtyard when he felt someone sit next to him. He thought it may have been Alphonse or Edward and he turned to tell them he was alright but it was neither of them.

"Oh…"

"You look like you just got kicked out of the academy or something."

"No… Nothing like that. I just… had some issues."

"I see." The boy held out his hand to him. "Name's Crimson Hamilton."

Chris shook his hand. "Chris Curtis."

"You going to sign up and go to the academy?"

"Yeah and I'm also going to take the state alchemy exam."

"Really? You know alchemy?"

"I know flame alchemy… That's about it though."

"That's pretty awesome. I'm doing the same thing. Maybe we'll be bunkmates."

"What alchemy do you specialize in?"

"Uh… let's just say it's special."

Chris made a face. "You can't show me?"

"It'll ruin the surprise. I hear that your final task is that you have to go up against the Fullmetal Alchemist or the Gunmetal Unicorn Alchemist."

Chris thought for a second, trying to remember where he heard that name, Fullmetal.

"Why do you have to go up against them?"

"They are the top alchemists here at Central. From what I understand they can actually transmute things without an array. They just clap their hands and things appear."

"My mom is like that." Chris said with a smile. "She used to do that all the time. So it's common?"

"No… Don't you know anything about alchemy?"

"Of course I do… well… flame alchemy."

"So… you have no idea how to make an array for different things?"

Chris shrugged. "I never needed it…"

Crimson smiled. "That's alright, I never really needed it either."

"Chris." He looked up and saw Edward coming down the stairs. "Al said you ran out of the building. I was making sure you were alright."

"I just needed to clear my head. I was having some issues…"

"I see. Hello, Crimson, where's your father?"

"He is still in the lab cooking up serums and stuff. I came to give myself a little tour."

"You shouldn't be walking about Central Headquarters without a guide."

"My apologies, Colonel."

Edward stared down at him with a not too pleasant demeanor and then looked at Chris.

"If you're not going to continue the tour then it would be best if you went home and studied for your alchemy exam, Chris."

"Well, I still wanted to take the tour, Uncle- er, Colonel, it's just I had some issues and I needed a breather. I should be fine now."

"Do you mind if I tag along? I mean, you _did_ say that I can't roam around headquarters without a guide, right?"

Edward made a face but motioned for them both to come along.

* * *

There was a knock at Riza's door and she told whoever it was to come in. It was Jean and he closed the door behind him.

"Colonel, permission to speak freely?"

"Granted." She said, not looking up.

"Colonel, I think this is a very bad idea."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, Al said he found Chris in the bathroom and it looked like he was having one of those mental things you mentioned from before. He didn't hurt himself but he said he was acting strange. And the way he spoke to us for that brief second? _That_ was the old Mustang coming out. What if this place releases that part of him? What will we do?"

"We will do what Colonel Mustang, if he comes out, asks of us." Riza looked up from her papers. "As we have always done in the past."

"But sir, if he asks us to give him a serum, won't that kill Chris?"

Riza sighed, leaning back in her chair. "I don't know, Havoc… It's all very mind bending and confusing. There are two people essentially living in that body with two pasts and two futures. I can't tell you what will happen."

"I'm just worried about them both. I mean, would it be murder to kill Chris just to have the Colonel back?"

"Who said we are murdering anyone?"

"But we _are_ , Hawkeye. Think about it. Chris and Mustang are two separate people even if they share a body. As of right now, Mustang is suppressed but if ever, or _when_ ever that side of him wakes up again, there will be a choice on who will own that body. Whoever wins essentially kills the other."

"Again, Havoc, it's a mystery to me. I have no idea what will happen. It would be different if we knew for a fact that if the Colonel came out that Chris' memories would just meld with his and he would continue on but we _just don't know_. We will have to cross that bridge when we get to it, I'm afraid."

Jean sighed and looked over Riza's head at the gloves in the frame.

"What if he finds the extra pair of gloves?"

"I've hidden them where he could never find them."

Jean nodded, figuring he'd done enough reaming. Riza looked at him and smiled.

"As much as I would love for the Colonel to come back to us, it's been a very long time. We knew he's safe at least, and that's all we can hope for. If or when things turn out like this, we will deal with it as best as we can. As I said, we will do what he asks of us, as we have always done."

Jean nodded. "Yes, sir."

* * *

Later that night as Edward and Chris walked to Edward's home, Chris was thinking about the alchemy exam and looked over at Edward.

"Uncle Ed?"

"Yeah?'

"Is the alchemy exam hard?"

"Not really. You don't have to fight anyone, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, I don't? Crimson said I did."

"No. It's a tall tale that has spread throughout the military but it's not true. You go into a room and the Fuhrer, along with a few others, watch you from stands and you show them what your alchemy forte is. If you're good enough, they will give you a state alchemist watch and you get the rank of 'major' automatically."

"And you get a name, right?"

"That's right."

"What's yours again? You never really talk about it so…"

Edward hesitated for a minute. "Fullmetal."

The word coming from Edward's mouth seemed to echo a thousand times over in Chris' head but it was being said with a different voice, in different tones, different feelings.

"I see. Why is that your name?"

"If I'm not mistaken, it has something to do with my automail."

"Oh… then who's the Gunmetal Unicorn Alchemist? That's a silly name."

Edward smirked. "That would be Alphonse's name."

"I hope I don't get a silly name like that but I hope I don't get something lame like Flame Alchemist or something." Chris laughed.

Edward laughed nervously. "Yeah… What name would you like?"

"I don't know… something that's definitely identifiable. Something that will strike fear into people."

"Why?"

"So no one thinks I'm weak."

"You're only as weak as you make yourself, Chris. Even a name like Flame Alchemist could spell caution for those near if you, as the person, exert that type of emotion. You haven't met him yet, but there is a muscle bound soldier who reminds me a lot of Sig (in massiveness only) whose codename is the Strong Arm Alchemist. He looks like he could kill you in an instant and has no mercy, but he is the most caring man in the military. He would literally give the shirt off his back if you needed it… and sometimes when you don't. The point is, Strong Arm Alchemist sounds a little menacing if you've never heard or seen him before, but to those who know him, that name actually brings hope and smiles."

"What does your name bring up in people's minds?"

"A suit of armor." Edward growled, clenching his fist.

"What?" Chris asked, laughing.

"Nothing… anyway, you'll have to accept the name you're given, whether you like it or not. Ask Al."

"What sort of name is that anyway? I think just Gunmetal Alchemist is way cooler."

"So does he, but the Unicorn part of his name has a big of significance and so he keeps it. Besides, speaking of striking fear into people, how many people would think that somebody named Gunmetal Unicorn would kick their ass?"

"That's true… Hey, wasn't Colonel Mustang's codename Flame Alchemist?"

"It was."

"See, that's also why I don't want it. Even though I have the same abilities as him, I don't want people thinking I'm trying to _be_ him. I want people to see me as Chris Curtis not as Roy Mustang's imaginary protégé or something."

 _Isn't that ironic?_ Edward thought. He pat Chris on the shoulder.

"I'm sure the Fuhrer will come up with something quite unique to your circumstances… although you need to learn other types of alchemy. You can still keep flame alchemy as your main source but just remember one thing: you're useless on rainy days."

"I see… so if I know other types of alchemy I can do more when I'm not able to use flames?"

"Exactly. See, you're already different from Roy Mustang and you haven't even taken the exam yet."

Chris smiled. "Hey, Uncle Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"That Elicia girl… she said that her dad was friends with Mustang, right?"

"Yeah, they were best friends."

"What happened to her father? I mean… how did he die?"

Edward debated on telling him but he knew that even as Roy Mustang, the death of his friend was agonizing torture. He may not remember it but bringing up something like that could trigger memories that would be too much to handle.

"I can't really discuss that with you. Military clearance and all."

"Oh, I see… What was his name though? Her father?"

"Why?"

Chris turned his head a little.

"I don't know but for some reason it seems pretty important to me."

"Why? You like Elicia?" Edward said, making a face at Chris.

Chris came out of his thoughts abruptly, looking up at Edward.

"What? No! I mean, I just met her…"

"But she's awfully cute. Come on, come on…" he said, elbowing him in the shoulder.

"Stop it! I don't like her." Chris laughed. Edward smiled but stopped teasing him. "Uncle Ed, why can't you be like this all the time? I like when you're fun like that."

Edward stared at him for a minute and then looked ahead.

"People grow up, Chris, and sooner or later you have to realize that getting through life is hard. In this line of business, however, you have to have a mask on to keep people from finding your weaknesses. I'll tell you a little secret about the military that every soldier should know: don't trust _anyone_. Not your superior, your subordinate, not even the Fuhrer. Everyone is waiting to find that button to push." Edward stopped and turned to Chris, looking him in the eyes. "Chris, there are many things at work within the military that people want to keep hidden. Your reasons for joining are admirable but in order to succeed, you may have to get blood on your hands, and I don't mean that in a figurative sense. You will see people die, you will kill people, and you will have to live with it for the rest of your life. People in the military wear a mask to keep others from seeing what affects them because if they want to, they can manipulate anything to bring you down if they know how to work you."

"Have you killed people, Uncle Ed?"

"Luckily, I haven't had to but I've seen people die. I've been the source of people's pain before. Believe me, that's not a good place to be. I have things I want to protect and things I need to understand. Showing… showing too much emotion can lead to your downfall."

Chris nodded and Edward smiled a little.

"Just remember that everyone has a secret to hide and everyone can find a way to use it against you if they find out what it is."

"I'll keep that in mind."

They continued on to the house.

* * *

 **got some cryptic stuff going on and like i said, that's not really the reason why ed acts the way he does but this goes off of the theory that came about right after hughes died in the original story line in regards to mustang and the others realizing that they could not trust the military. they hadn't figured out it was the fuhrer yet then but they knew that things were not as they seemed.**

 **and look chris made a friend... :|**

 **and chris didn't know edward was called fullmetal because as said, edward never talked about it. he feared it would cause chris to go into another mental attack due to the yock island incident. but that serum made christ forget that so he never knew.**


	16. Chapter 16

**sorry for the long wait!**

* * *

 _ **"** Did you hear what I said? My dear little Elicia's about to turn three!"_

 _ **"** Lieutenant Colonel Hughes! Do you think this could wait? I'm at work."_

 _ **"** Oh, what a coincidence. I'm at work, too. She's the cutest little thing. You should see her!"_

 _ **"** I'm sure she's adorable, but stop calling me to gush over your daughter, and on a military line, too!"_

 _ **"** Not just my daughter! I gush over my wife too!"_

* * *

 _ **"** The power of one man doesn't amount to much, But however little strength I'm capable of... I'll do everything humanly possible to protect the people I love, And in turn they'll protect the ones they love. It seems like the least we tiny humans can do for each other."_

 _ **"** Sounds like a pyramid scheme, There's just one thing. If you hope to eventually protect everyone... then you'll have to figure out a way to stand at the top of the pyramid."_

 _ **"** I can only imagine how good it must feel up there, Hughes... Although... I'll never be able to find out without all the support I can get."_

 _ **"** There's no doubt about that. You're not very subtle, y'know. You've got my support... But you could've just asked me... It ought to be fun to watch though... And maybe your naive idealism might actually do some good."_

* * *

Chris woke up with a massive headache that caused him to immediately run to the bathroom, where he vomited in the toilet. The dreams were so real. He could see that other man, a man with square glasses and bright green eyes, staring at him with the love of a brother. He felt close to that image for some reason. The voice of the man wasn't made up, but almost like a memory of someone he knew long ago… He vomited again and then laid against the cool toilet to ease his throbbing head. The name… he remembered the name sounded so familiar but in an instant he'd forgotten what it was.

"Chris?"

Chris looked up at Edward, who was in his night clothes. He stared at him in awe for a second, taking in the full automail arm and leg and also the toned muscles of his uncle's body. He wondered how he could ever get that way with large heavy metal appendages and mostly sitting at a desk all day. He hoped he looked like that when he grew older. _Older…_ A flash of some sort of memory hit him like a truck into his brain, flashes of a version of himself looking oddly like Roy Mustang, the original Flame Alchemist. Were they memories or dreams?

Chris didn't know. All he knew was that every image made the 'truck' ram into his mind over and over again. He didn't know he was screaming until Edward started shaking him, holding his arms.

"Chris! Chris, what's wrong?! You have to talk to me!" he screamed.

All Chris could do was just stare, shaking and confused. Edward's face kept changing before his eyes from the grown man in front of him to a younger version of his face, cherubic with childishness. He didn't know what was real. He wanted Izumi but he couldn't form the words. He was scared half to death.

* * *

Edward couldn't figure out how to help Chris. He was having another attack, just like what had happened on Yock Island, except there were no tree bangings, but it was still detrimental all the same. Chris just kept staring as if he was being overloaded from the inside out. Edward cursed himself, wishing he'd been a little more cautious about bringing him into Central Headquarters. Everything was a block of familiarity to him… _What was I thinking?_ Edward thought as he finally grabbed Chris into his arms to hold him.

"Ed?" Winry said, coming to the doorway.

"It's alright, he's just having an attack."

Winry frowned, walking in some more.

"That doesn't sound like he's alright."

"Well, I mean, he's _not_ but there's nothing I can do for him. It's memories… I shouldn't have taken him to headquarters. I wasn't thinking about the amount of history he had there."

Chris wouldn't stop shaking so Edward finally pulled away from him and grabbed his face in his hands.

"Chris, listen to me. It's Edward. You have to snap out of it now. You have to focus."

Chris didn't seem to be responding but his eyes turned to Edward and he smiled.

"That's it, just focus on me. Relax… Just relax, you'll be alright. I'm right here. Calm down… Focus on my face."

The shaking began to slow down and Chris' eyes seemed to start focusing again. Eventually, he stopped and seemed to deflate into Edward's arms. Edward sighed and reached up to touch Chris' forehead. As he expected, there was a raging fever.

"Winry, could you get the thermometer for me. I'm going to carrying him to his bed."

She nodded and left as Edward gathered up Chris and carried him to his room. Chris had his head on Edward's chest, listening to the dull thuds of his heart, exhausted beyond a doubt. He set Chris down on the bed and Winry came in with the thermometer as well as a rag.

"Here, I wet this for you but I'm going to get a bowl and fill it up."

He nodded and stuck the thermometer in Chris' mouth. He waited for it and then pulled it out, showing a high fever. He stuck the rag on his forehead and ran his fingers through his hair. If this was how it was going to be every time he entered Central, this could be a problem.

"Here…" Winry said, bringing in the bowl. She set it down on the side table and stood next to her husband, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Ed, what was that?"

"Sometimes familiarity makes him remember his past. It… it isn't pleasant, as you saw. The memories are so repressed that coming to the forefront is like a battering ram on a secured city gate. It's literally like there is a door that is in his brain that's locked, fleeting memories escaping under the cracks every once in a while. Then, sometimes he's hit with these types, too much familiar information triggering the memories of a past he can't remember than then it's like I said, a battering ram. His mind is trying to keep the door shut… It's the only way I can think of to describe it. Then, the door shuts quickly, sealing itself for another time."

"If that's the case, then you can't let him go back to Central. I mean, he worked out of that office and everything there will be familiar."

"I know…" Edward ran his fingers through his hair again. "I _know_ but it's too far along. We can't just reveal to him that he's Roy Mustang. We don't know how devastating that blow will be. How will his mind react? Will Chris even be able to withstand it? Or will Roy kill him? It's not just about the Colonel anymore, but Chris himself. Chris is a kid. He's _real_. We can't just… we can't just kill him for the Colonel."

Winry squeezed his shoulders a little.

"I know it's hard, Ed. Come back to bed and we'll see how he is in the morning. I honestly think you should talk with Colonel Hawkeye about all this before you take him back. There may be a way to figure something out."

Edward nodded and got up, touching Chris' face for a second. He was finally asleep again, seeming to be in a blissful mood. He sighed and walked back with his wife to bed.

He got up the next morning and went to check on Chris. He was still warm but nothing like before. He took in Winry's suggestion from last night and decided that he would talk with Hawkeye before bringing him back.

"How is he?" she asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Still a bit feverish, but nothing like last night. I'm going to leave him here for today and talk with Hawkeye."

"Are you sure that he won't go crazy on me? Not that I won't help but I mean, with the baby and the severity of it…"

"No, he should be fine."

He kissed her cheek and left to head to Central.

* * *

As he went to his office, Elicia stood up and saluted to him.

"Good morning, Colonel Elric." She said stiffly.

"Good morning, Sergeant Hughes." He said, tightening his pony tail. "Any messages?"

"Not today, sir. Uh… permission to speak freely?"

"Granted."

"Where is the boy that was here yesterday? The one who looked like Colonel Mustang?"

"You mean Chris? He's at home. He got sick. Why?"

"I have this picture that was in our album and wanted to show it to him. For some reason, even though he said he looked up to Mr. Mustang, he acted as if he'd never seen him before. I mean… isn't it odd that he looks _exactly_ like him? So, I thought I'd show him this."

Elicia pulled out a picture from the pocket in the front and Edward looked at it. It was of Maes and Roy right after the Ishvalan War. They were bruised and dirty but they got to stop for a picture, Maes' arm around Roy's shoulders with a goofy grin and holding a picture of Gracia. Edward snatched the picture from her, making her jump and he pocketed it.

"Is that the only one you have?"

"No… I mean, of that picture yes, but I have plenty more."

"Don't ever show him any of these types of pictures, understand? _Do not_ show him _any_ pictures of Colonel Roy Mustang. Do you understand, Sergeant?"

"Um… yes, sir?"

Edward gave a small smile and touched her shoulder, taking out the picture.

"Here. I don't want to forget to give it back. I'm not mad at you but please don't let him see. It's… complicated but if he sees any pictures then… well, I'm not sure."

"I'll make sure, sir. Oh, your brother is in your office." She said, sitting down.

"Thanks." He walked to his office and found Alphonse sitting in his chair with his feet up. "Unless you'd like to be cursed with the title of Colonel, I suggest you get up."

Alphonse grinned and put his feet down, brushing off his shirt.

"Hey, where's Chris? I was hoping you'd bring him."

"He had an episode last night." Alphonse's smile faded. "It wasn't as bad as the Yock Island one but it was bad enough. I have to talk with Hawkeye about bringing him here. There's too many triggers."

"I can understand that. He looked pretty drained when I saw him in the bathroom so I can only imagine what it's like when it's a full blown attack. Ed, you know this will backfire, right? I mean, there is _no way_ you and the others can keep this secret forever."

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it, Al. Since Teacher didn't tell him about who he really is, doing it now would only cause confusion and make him feel like he's betrayed. We have to wait…"

"Until his mind has to choose?"

Edward's shoulders slumped as he leaned on the desk.

"It's the only thing we _can_ do. His mind will have to fight for dominance but… but we'll be there every step of the way. We can't force him to choose his life so we will be there for either path. Again, that's all we can do."

Alphonse sighed. "Well, I don't envy you at all, Ed…"

"Is that what you came to talk about?"

"Mostly, because I thought Chris would be here, but I also came to tell you that there is a report on your desk in regards to that guy. The scar guy that was wreaking havoc way back in the day… when you almost got your face taken off?"

"I remember, what about him?"

"Well, since Roy was in charge of the investigation and he just 'mysteriously' disappeared, the case was dropped. But it seems he's been going at it again and so they decided to give it to you since you were part of it last time."

"Al, stop reading my personal reports." Ed said with a frown.

"Hey, it pertains to me too, ya know. I lost my arm over that."

"I put it back on."

"You stretched out my armor!"

"I didn't have a choice. You got it practically _destroyed_ into tiny little pieces. I had to figure out some way to make it workable."

"You could have used all the little pieces."

"It wouldn't have done much of anything to help, Al."

"And it wouldn't have gotten destroyed if you hadn't gotten depressed in the middle of a fight. Dumb ass."

"Is there a point to your babble, Gunmetal Unicorn?" Ed asked making a face.

"Aw, you said you'd never use the whole thing."

"Unless you were being annoying. This is one of those times. Now, seriously, what's the point?"

"The point is, you're in charge of the case now. Don't let what's happening with Chris cloud your judgment. We can't lose you and he needs you. He'll be after alchemists and if Chris is going to train then you have to keep him safe."

"Of course I will. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and talk to Hawkeye about this issue. Unless there is anything else?"

"Nope."

They both left the office and parted ways.

* * *

 **because little brothers will always be little brothers. and that part in the manga/anime was always so funny to me. where he's laying into ed and then his arm falls off and he's like 'and now you made my arm fall off. what a stupid brother!' and it occurred to me that scar was still at large when maes died so since roy was in charge of that case, it would have been slightly dropped due to the issue with drachma**

 **and another episode for chris. hopefully riza and edward can come up with a solution**


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey, Chief, long time no see. You stay cooped up in that office over there and never visit." Havoc said as Edward walked into Riza's office.

"Now I know why the Colonel was such an ass all the time. The amount of paperwork is astonishing." They smiled at each other for a moment. "Is Hawkeye in?"

"Yeah, she's sitting at her desk signing some documents."

Edward nodded and knocked on the door. He was invited in and Riza looked up.

"Edward. Where's Chris?"

"He's at home because he had another incident." Riza made a face and stopped writing. "Colonel, we need to talk about Chris' mentality towards this place."

"What about it?"

"It's too familiar. Everything here is way too familiar. I can't keep up with him if he's going to go into hysterics every night or be on the verge of remembering who he was during the day. We _need_ to figure something out. I won't watch him suffer."

"Then what do you suggest, Edward?" Riza asked, folding her arms across the desk. "I'm serious. What do you suggest we do to keep Chris from relapsing?"

"I don't know… I wish I did but I don't. There has to be _something_ … Damn it… If we had just told him about his real self when he was younger…"

"What would it have done though?" Edward looked at her in confusion. "I've been thinking about that issue and I've come to the conclusion that both scenarios are useless. Think about it, Ed, what exactly would be the use of telling Chris he was Roy? That would actually cause a whole new set of issues and problems."

"Yeah but if he knew he was Roy Mustang already then instead of hindering his brain from remembering, we could embrace it. Every memory would be putting _Roy Mustang_ back together. Now we have a kid who has no idea who the hell he is and memories that he doesn't understand! Now, instead of piecing Roy back together, we have to make sure Roy doesn't kill Chris. You _do_ realize this is what's happening, right? It's a mental battle on who gets to claim that body and mind. Chris is his own entity, his own person, who has his own life. Roy is the same. So now we have lives on the line because whoever wins kills the other and we have no idea how either side will take that."

Riza sighed and put her face in her hands. Edward was right, as he had been the whole time about the whole issue. There was no way to justify it or fix it.

"I don't know what to do, Ed." Riza admitted sadly. "I really don't. You're right, as you've always been, but what can we do now? As you said, this office brings back memories so badly he goes into hysterics. I want to help but…"

"Is there anything Dr. Hamilton can do? I mean…"

"There's only one way to know that. You have my permission to do as you please in regards to making this as easy as possible on Chris. He's the main concern right now…"

Edward sighed and got up, leaving the office.

Havoc looked at him and grabbed his arm before he left the room.

"Yo, Chief." Edward looked at him. "May I suggest something?"

"In regards to the Colonel?" Havoc nodded. "Sure."

"I think you should let him see a picture of the Colonel. I know you don't want to but if you let him see what he looked like, his mind may be able to piece it back more gradually than just grabbing at air. I mean, his mind probably recognizes his face in the mirror but doesn't connect fully. If you show him a picture of Roy then when his mind flashes to that face, it might help the connection process go more smooth… unless you just don't want him to know?"

Edward thought about that for a second and sighed.

"I don't know any more. I don't know who would fight or surrender or if they would work together."

"Knowing the Colonel, he'd probably try to work together. He liked staying out of violence as much as he could. Just think about it, alright?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

Havoc saluted him and Edward went to go see Dr. Hamilton.

* * *

Chris woke up and shook his head a little, sitting up. He looked around and remembered he was in Central in Edward's house. He stood up and went to the bathroom and then followed the scent of eggs and bacon. He ended up in the kitchen where Winry was stirring something in a pan and she looked up.

"Morning. You hungry?"

Chris nodded and she smiled.

"I thought you might be so I made you some food as well. It's almost done."

He nodded and looked around the house for a second. There was a door opened that had a workbench showing with shining things on it.

"What's that back there?" he asked, yawning.

Winry looked and smiled. "That's my automail desk. I'm an automail mechanic."

Chris whipped back to her. "Really?"

"Yup. I'm usually working in Rush Valley but since I got pregnant my boss told me to work from home until the baby is born. He didn't want me to be stressed out."

"That's really neat. Do you work on Uncle Ed's automail?"

"All the time. When he was younger I couldn't keep a good pair on him. He was always getting it busted or broken and sometimes missing… depended on what sort of mission he was on." She said, remembering with annoying fondness how he used to come to her with that sheepish-not-sorry look on his face.

Chris smiled and then frowned a little as Winry sat a plate in front of him.

"Mrs. Elric-"

"Winry, please."

"Okay… um, Mrs. Winry… Can I ask you something? I don't think Uncle Ed would appreciate it if I asked him so…"

"I'll see if I can answer."

"I had a dream… or a memory or something about a guy named Hughes. In my dream he had green eyes and square glasses and was kind of a goofy guy. He was really nice though but loyal. He had a little family, a little girl and wife…"

For some reason, knowing that made Chris extremely irate and he actually bent the fork he was holding in his hand with his thumb.

"He was… gentle. Kind, loyal, friendly, honest… the best guy you could ever want to know…" He looked at Winry. "Mrs. Winry, I feel like I know this guy personally but I can't for the life of me figure out why. Do you know who I'm talking about?"

Winry wasn't sure she should say anything but figured it wasn't going to hurt to at least tell him his first name.

"It sounds like you're talking about Maes Hughes."

 _Maes…_ The word seemed to permeate through him as fractal images of him started coming up in his mind.

"Did you know him?"

"Yeah, he was a wonderful man. Great guy, good father, loving husband. The epitome of dedicated family man. He loved his wife and daughter without a doubt and was not afraid to let everyone know about it."

 _"My little Elicia! Isn't she the cutest thing?!"_

"Elicia…" He looked at Winry. "That was his daughter's name, right? She works under Uncle Ed now."

"Yes, that's right."

"How did he die? I met her and she said that he died."

Winry shook her head. "I can't tell you that, Chris. I'm not allowed to say."

Chris decided that when he went back to headquarters he would ask her himself. He felt like he should protect her and that her loss was something he should rectify.

* * *

Edward knocked on Dr. Hamilton's door and then opened it. He didn't see the doctor in the room and started to head towards the back when he heard the door slam open and he was talking to someone.

"You have to be patient. You can't rush anything. If you rush it, it will not work. I don't know why you can't just take it easy."

"I've been taking it easy for nine years and now that he's here, I want to hurry up and do what I want. Why is it- Oh… we have a guest."

Edward frowned at Crimson as he grinned at him.

"Hello, Colonel Elric, pleasant surprise." He said with a halfhearted salute.

Dr. Hamilton looked up and seemed very surprised to see Edward and almost lost a tray of whatever he had been working on.

"Oh! Edward Elric… I haven't see you in a very long time."

"Yeah, it's been a bit." He said, eyeing Crimson.

Crimson turned to Dr. Hamilton.

"I'll be Father-dear. Is Chris around? I wanted to show him the training grounds for the alchemy exam."

"He's at home and you know that there isn't a battle for that."

"You battled Roy Mustang…"

"Because they didn't believe my power was well displayed enough or would work in combat so I had to prove myself. Chris will have no such issue."

"I'm sure."

He left and Edward looked at the doctor.

"I need your help with something."

"I'll be happy to assist. What is it you need?"

"Is there anything you can give me that will allow Chris to enter Headquarters without having a literal mental breakdown every time? I mean, as Roy he worked here for years so everything is familiar."

Dr. Hamilton sighed and set the tray down. "Don't you think it's time you told him the truth?"

"I can't do that. This will have to be gradual. I've got a plan on revealing to himself who he really is but we can't point blank just tell him anymore. It's too risky."

"Hmm… Well, I can give you the same type of serum that I gave him the last time when he was still living in Dublith."

"Yeah but it's not like Dublith. That helped because there wasn't a lot of familiar things triggering his memories. This is different."

"Hmm… I'll have to see what I can do. Again, the process will cause an aging issue since that's how this all works… Although, I _did_ finish the original formula."

Edward's eyes widened. "What?"

"The original formula you all wanted me to do is complete. It will restore all of Roy Mustang's memories and get him back to the age he was when all of this happened. I've had it ready for a while."

Edward wanted nothing more than to take it and get this issue done and over with. _But Chris…_ he thought and sighed.

"I can't do that to Chris. Not unless he asks me to."

Dr. Hamilton smiled sadly. "Yes, I understand. I will see what I can do in the meantime though."

Edward turned and walked out of the room with more information than he needed to know. The original formula was ready to go and all they had to do was just give it to Chris and the nightmare would be over.

But for whom?

* * *

 **ah another dilemma is thrown into the ring. what will they do? what is best? so much to gain and so much to lose all at the same time!**

 **and chris was getting angry at the one part because 'roy' was remembering that hughes died a tragic death and left his family behind and he was upset about his death really**


	18. Chapter 18

**heads up: quite a meaty chapter (i believe) and quite long. enjoy!**

* * *

Elicia was carrying a towering amount of books that she had borrowed from Sheska and was heading back to her desk when she tripped and the books went flying. She cursed quietly as she began to pick up the books.

"Need a hand?"

Elicia looked up as Crimson smiled at her from above.

"Oh, Officer Hamilton…"

He bent down and began picking up books and holding them in his arms. He smiled as he rose and Elicia rose as well.

"Thank you for helping me."

"Not a problem, Sergeant. Would you like me to accompany you to the Colonel's office?"

"If it's not too much trouble…"

"Nonsense…" They began to walk in the direction Elicia was originally going in. "What could Colonel Elric possibly need with all these books?"

"Oh, only three of them are for him. The rest are for me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah; personal research and such."

"I see."

As they got to Edward's office, Crimson opened the door to the room and they went over to Elicia's desk. They put the books down and he smiled at her.

"Well, whatever you're searching for, I hope you find it with ease. May I ask what you're looking up?" he said, glancing at the books she had. "Then again… cold cases are an odd hobby of research…"

Elicia chuckled nervously as he glanced again at the books that were there.

"It's a personal project of mine and I had to go a little deeper to understand some things."

"Is that so?" he said, smiling at her again. "Well, again, I hope you find what you're looking for Sergeant."

He walked away and Elicia felt a shiver go up her spine as he exited the office. As Crimson turned the corner, Edward came walking in and Elicia jumped in surprise.

"Colonel! Wh- what brings you here?"

He squinted at her for a second.

"This _is_ my office."

"Of course, hehe, I know that. I meant I thought you were going to spend more time with Colonel Hawkeye…"

Realizing that his headache and reason that he couldn't make out a mound of blur on Elicia's desk, Edward rolled his eyes in remembering that he took off his glasses and then forgot to put them back on in his haste. No wonder he had a headache.

"I could be mistaken but is that a mound of books on your desk?"

Elicia just looked at it and cleared her throat.

"Uh… well, yeah…"

"I thought I only asked for three."

"You did. The rest are for me."

Edward made a face and then gestured for her to follow him and he went to his office. He went to his desk and felt around for a second and finally landed on his glasses where he had left them. He put them on and immediately felt relief from his headache and then looked at Elicia, who (now that she was plainly visible) looked like she was guilty and was fidgeting.

"Are you hiding something, Sergeant?"

"H-Hiding something? Me? No…" Edward lifted an eyebrow at her. "Well… I mean…" His eyebrow lifted to meet its twin and Elicia broke. "Okay, well… After seeing Chris the other day –and he looks _so_ much like Mr. Mustang- I remembered the reason why I came into the army. I decided I wanted to look more into my father's death since the case was dropped with the disappearance of Colonel Mustang."

Edward made a face as Elicia wrung her hands.

"Elicia…"

"I just want clarity, Colonel."

"We _all_ want clarity on that particular case, Elicia, but cracking open old cases will get you and me in trouble for slacking off and lack of supervision on my part. The case is closed because the case ran cold. Without Colonel Mustang's input on his military personality, we can't go any further with the case. Dredging up old wounds will only cause the military to turn away from it. Besides, you don't need to look into the gritty details of the case. It was bad enough then…"

Elicia made it a point not to get angry but one thing that frustrated her to a boiling point was when everyone still treated her like the unknowing child she used to be. She only knew her father as the man who loved her dearly and would do anything for her. He doted on her and she remembered his love and tenderness to her. She hugged his picture every night because all she had were pictures, memories, and feelings. She had a right to know the 'gritty details' of how her father was taken away from her.

Since Maes died, Elicia had seen death more than once and finally understood it completely when her cat died. At six years old, the clarity of loss finally hit her. Just like her cat would never meow at her when she came home or rub his face on her legs or run across the carpet with a ball, she knew her father was the same. He was gone and nothing could bring him back. Knowing what death was, it always brought up questions, but the number one question was why?

When she entered the military, she had heard nothing but good, wonderful, and amazing things about her father. No one had anything bad to say about him. If he was such a wonderful person, _why_ did someone kill her father? _Why_ did the military choose to end the search for his killer so soon? Even before Colonel Mustang went missing, Elicia had heard her mother talking about how odd it was to close the case so quickly, as if nothing happened. _Why_ were the details so vague? She wanted - _needed_ \- answers and people treating her like she was still that little girl crying about how her father had to go to work in the morning as they put him in the ground made her want to scream and shout and throw something at someone.

Elicia clenched her fists.

"Colonel Elric, my father was murdered and no one seems to care why. As soon as Mr. Mustang was reported MIA, they dropped the case and never bothered to try anymore. A man was _murdered_ and yet they did nothing. Did his life not mean anything to them?"

Edward stared at her for a moment and then closed the door to the office. Coming back, he leaned a little on the desk, his fingertips pressing the top of it.

"Do not speak of things so loudly, Elicia. Always be aware that the walls have ears and the windows have eyes." Elicia looked around for a second. "That, and always remember your place in the world as a person of the military. You _do_ know what that is, right?"

"To serve Amestris and be dutiful to the Fuhrer."

"No. That is incorrect. Your place is to be an ant."

"An ant? As in the insect?"

"Precisely."

"I… don't follow you."

"As people we try to see everyone as the same, give liberties to everyone equally. But we can never be equal to each other. As people, we are like ants. We work together for a common goal and we all have a job to do. In this line of work, we may lose a man or two but the work is always finished. We are the worker ants. We, as the military, are the ants that go out to defend and protect our home and then get stepped on by those bigger and larger and stronger than us. Because we work close together, when a comrade dies, _we_ want answers, finality, clarity. We will do everything we can to try and understand why our fellow companion has died. But, to those at the top and of course, the ruler, the worker ants don't matter. We are _replaceable_.

"I tell you this because as a fellow worker ant, I too want to know what happened to your father. Everyone who was friends with him wants to understand why he was killed, but a fallen soldier only matters to us, not to those higher than us." Elicia nodded sadly and Edward went around the desk and pat her shoulder. "We can't waste time digging up cold cases when we have so much to do in the here and now."

"What about if I looked into it on my own time?" she asked hopefully.

"The case is closed, Elicia." He leaned into her ear. "Remember, the walls have ears and the windows have eyes. Looking into secrets locked by the military could raise suspicion to people who need not know our curiosities." Elicia nodded fervently as Edward stepped back. "Oh, and do you still have that picture in your pocket that you brought for Chris?"

The change in subject startled her but she nodded and pulled it out of her front pocket, handing it to him.

"I decided against my earlier order about Colonel Mustang and Chris."

"So I can show him pictures now?"

"Yes but only if he asks."

"Right."

"You're dismissed Sergeant." Elicia turned to leave. "Elicia?" She turned to him. "Please take all but the books I requested and one of the others. Remember, don't raise suspicion."

Elicia's smile stretched wide across her face as she realized he was giving her secret permission to look into the case as long as it didn't interfere with her work or raise questions. She cursed though, because she already had Crimson asking questions. She'd have to be very careful now.

* * *

When Edward got home that night, he was expecting a nice hot dinner but smelled nothing as he opened the door. He frowned and went to the kitchen, finding no one.

"Winry? Where are you?"

"In here, Ed!"

Edward followed her voice and found her at the door of the backroom and frowned.

"Where's dinner?"

Winry gasped, putting her hands over her mouth.

"Oh my god! I'm _so_ sorry! I got sidetracked with showing Chris how to work on automail that I forgot dinner!"

"I should be used to this…" he said with a fake sulk.

Marrying a gear-head came with the territory of forgetfulness, dedication, sleepless nights, and sometimes complete obsession. Before Winry got pregnant, Edward had come home many a nights to no dinner and the sound of a ratchet being yanked around. It hadn't happened in a few months and Edward had already gotten greedy.

Chris looked up and spotted Edward in the doorway with Winry.

"Hey, Uncle Ed! Your wife is _awesome_!"

"You see that? I'm awesome."

"Uh huh… You know what else is awesome? Dinner."

"Sorry, Uncle Ed." Chris said, looking at him fully. "Winry has been teaching me about the automail stuff and even let me work on some. If I didn't want to be a soldier then I'd try this out for sure."

"You'd never make it." Edward said.

Chris frowned. "Why not?"

"Too impatient. You'd forget a nut or a bolt or something and cause someone automail failure in the middle of an important issue."

"No I wouldn't."

"Even the best get sloppy at some point. Besides, even you're useless on rainy days."

Edward clamped his mouth shut immediately. He hadn't meant to say the long standing joke about the Colonel's inability to make flames in a rainstorm out loud. With the potential progress he had hoped to make with the picture, he had fooled himself into believing he was bantering with his Colonel, not Chris.

Chris however, seemed to be unaware of his slip up.

"That's not true. If there wasn't so _much_ rain, I could still kick your ass, Uncle Ed. Hydrogen and oxygen make water but oxygen is flammable."

Edward gave a nervous smile. "That's true."

Chris went back to working on the automail.

"And furthermore, Fullmetal, at least I have something interesting to show. You just clap your hands and move things about. Specialty indeed…"

Edward and Winry looked at each other as Chris continued to work on the automail he was dealing with without realizing what had happened. Both of them knew that the last sentence was not said by Chris but by Roy Mustang. Since he didn't seem aware of it, Edward decided to ignore it.

"Clapping my hands together isn't just for show. Besides, not having to use symbols to do what I want is a specialty in itself."

"True but," He looked up. "Flames are more awesome."

The smile that Chris was giving Edward made him have to grab hold of the doorjamb to keep from running to him and hugging him tight. The face was all Roy. The look, the smile, everything… but it wasn't him. _It can never be him again…_ Edward remembered the picture in his pocket and pulled it out.

"Elicia gave this to me. She thought you might want to see it."

Chris got up and grabbed the photo. His eyes widened as his hand shook.

"Who… who is this?"

"That would be Roy Mustang and Elicia' father, Brigadier General Maes Hughes. Why?"

"I had a dream about this man… He was… he was kind and funny."

"Yeah, he was a good guy."

"What happened to him? I know he died but…"

"He was killed in the line of duty."

"Oh…" He shook his head then. "No… no he wasn't."

"Chris?"

"I can feel it in my bones, Uncle Ed. He didn't die valiantly."

Edward's face fell as he remembered finding out what little details were given about how he died. Nothing about it was noble or valiant. Someone had just been cold blooded and killed him without a care.

"You're right." Edward said.

"Ed?" Winry said, worried about Chris more than her husband.

Chris looked at the photo some more and then at Edward.

"He was murdered, wasn't he?"

Winry thought Edward would change the subject since the discussion was too close to home for both of them but he only crossed his arms and looked at Chris with that determination that made her heart flutter in both expectation and apprehension. Whatever he said could keep things neutral or Chris could have another attack. She really hoped Ed knew what he was doing…

"It isn't confirmed but everyone believes that that is so."

Chris frowned deeply. "Either he was or he wasn't."

"The case was closed when Mustang went MIA. No further discoveries were found and so the idea remains in the air."

"Why did no one try to solve it?"

"We do what we're told, Chris." Edward said.

Chris saw something in those words and in Edward's eyes that showed that Edward believed he was murdered and in his heart, Chris knew too. Somehow he did… and he wanted answers.

"I'm going to Central with you. I want to hurry up and get the academy over with."

"Are you sure about that?"

Chris flipped the picture around in his fingers to show Edward.

"Elicia's dad, right?"

"Yeah."

"I feel like I owe her."

"You don't even know her."

"I don't have to know her to help her. Something deep inside of me is itching to get my hands on this material to solve her father's death. If going into the military means that I can have better access then I will do all it takes to get there. I want to find out who did this to him- no, I _will_ find out who did this to him. For her… for _me_."

Edward sighed. "Well, I can't stop you and I can't judge you. I joined the military for freedoms to look for something that may or may not even exist but it did accomplish my goal. Just remember though, joining is easy but once in, it's hard to get out without a reason. The case about Hughes' death is a cold case and has been closed in regards to military investigations. As I told Elicia today, if you want to do this you must be discrete and it must not interfere with your assignments given to you. We are just worker ants who do what they're told. To the higher ups, we have no other job."

Chris gave a very Roy look to him. "Who ever gave a shit about _that_?"

Knowing how Roy seemed to never do what he was told, Edward had to smile.

"If only that were enough reasoning to do what we wanted." He turned to Winry. "Well, since we have no food, I guess we're going out for dinner. Go change your clothes… Have you been in your pajamas all day?"

"So?" Chris said, leaving the room.

Winry put her hand on Edward's chest and he looked at her.

"Are you sure letting him do this and giving him all this information is best? What if he has another episode?"

"I've decided that it's best he finds out now. We can't just outright tell him, but instead of hindering the inklings and suspicions he has, I'm going to let him explore them. If he has questions, I'll answer it to the best of my ability and so forth. It's time to stop pretending and cowering and sneaking. Things are coming to a turning point, I can feel it, and we need that body, that brain, to choose who it wants: Roy Mustang or Chris Curtis?"

* * *

 **the plot thickens and we move closer to the ever floating question of roy or chris? but at least we're getting somewhere now with a goal in mind. i truly don't know how long this will be because there are lots of aspects i want to make sure i fulfill for the story since it has such a twisty windy wibbly wobbly timey whimey plot so... it's not finished, of course, but it might be longer that BACKWARDS due to intricacy**


	19. Chapter 19

**fyi: i'm not sure how the military does stuff but this is FMA so i guess they can do what they want in a sense...**

* * *

Edward stared at the two young men in front of him, one who could care less and the other who looked quite ashamed. He didn't know what he was going to do with them but there they were, sitting in his office ready for a punishment of some sort. Edward breathed in deeply and straightened his glasses, folding his hands on the desk in an effort to not have his voice crack with displeasure and weakness. He had been sick all weak, throwing up and chills, but these were his men and he had to take care of their mistakes.

"Which one of you would like to explain first?" he asked, looking between the two.

Neither of them volunteered and Edward put his hand to his mouth to try and keep from vomiting. _I should have known that that meat wasn't meat. I wish Winry would get in a motherly mood and **cook** something!_ he thought as he recoiled at the thought of the lunch that had given him food poisoning.

"Um…" Edward turned his head. "I'll… I'll start."

"Please do."

Chris lifted his head and swallowed hard, looking at Edward in fear.

"We were practicing our alchemy in the designated area and then we got a little carried away. Since I've learned how to do transmutation circles for other things besides fire now, I just wanted to have some fun… I… I really didn't mean to set it on fire…"

Edward turned to the other boy.

"Is this true, Hamilton?"

Crimson smiled at him. "Pretty much. In my defense, you really can't tell your strength unless you have a wider range to work with. I'm sure you know what I mean."

"That may be so, but you burned down four barracks and severely burnt one of your fellow officers." Chris' head drooped again. "This is a Class 7 offense, gentlemen. What do you think I should do to you?"

"What's the punishment for Class 7 offenses?" Crimson asked.

"Wh- what _is_ a Class 7 offense?" Chris asked softly.

Edward turned to him. "A Class 7 offense is 'endangerment to allies'." He turned to Crimson. "The punishment is either suspension or dismissal."

Chris looked up in horror. He couldn't leave now! He'd gotten so far with Elicia's father but he was just running into walls. If he had rank he could look into things further and further until he was at Edward's level or maybe higher.

"So far, this seems like an accident. That's what I'm going to put in the report to give to the Fuhrer. _He_ will decided the final judgment but I will notify him that _I_ believe you should only receive suspensions. What he does is his own."

The boys nodded and Edward stood up, holding onto the desk for a second.

"You're dismissed. You should know the verdict tomorrow. Either I will tell you or Major Elric will if I'm not here… which is highly likely."

"Ate the ham didn't you?"

"Yeah…"

"It's not ham." Crimson said with a grin.

"I'm noticing that." Edward said, putting his hand to his stomach. "I have to go but I'm not through with you two yet. Once I get back, I need to speak with you both."

The two stood as Edward rushed out of the office and to the men's bathroom. Crimson chuckled a little, his hands still behind his head.

"Damn, he must have ate more than one piece to be like that." Crimson said.

Chris just shriveled back to the chair and put his face in his hands. Crimson sat in the chair next to him and looked at him.

"Don't beat yourself up over it, Chris. It was a mistake, it's not like you _wanted_ to burn down the barracks."

"It's still my fault… I mean, Warrant-Officer Peterson is in a pretty back condition. _I_ did that, Crim…"

Crimson pat him on the back a little.

"You're over-thinking it. Besides, weren't you just saying you wished to see your mom again? If you get suspended then you will get to go see your mom."

Although Chris liked the idea of seeing his mother again, he would rather do it on his own terms. He didn't even want to know the ream he would get when he got home (if Edward was up to it) but what his mother would do to him when she found out was even scarier than the Seven Hells.

* * *

Chris sat on the stairs of headquarters and waited to figure out what to do. He felt someone sit beside him and looked over, seeing Elicia as she held out a juice.

"Juice?"

He took it and opened it up.

"Six months… it's been six months and I feel like we're so close and then this happens." Chris said.

"Well, if it's any consolation, I believe you'll get a suspension."

"That doesn't help at all."

Elicia sipped her own juice and then scooched next to him.

"Cheer up, Chris. I hate to see you down like this. You remind me of Mr. Mustang when you do that."

Chris smiled a little. "Really?"

She looked up. "That wasn't me saying to do it more often."

He laughed at her when a sharp pain went through his head and he hissed. Elicia looked at him and saw him holding his eye.

"How have your headaches been?"

"Mild; but every once in a while I'll get a nail coming through my eye… or so it feels like."

"How long does it last?"

"Not long, just a couple of seconds."

"Well, maybe we should take a break with looking into my father's death for a little bit, ya know? If we pull away and then come back, we might be able to find out more stuff with fresher eyes."

"Yeah…"

"Hey, at least you'll get to see your mom again. How was she last time you spoke to her?"

Chris looked away. "Not well. Dad said that she was really hurting and in bed a lot."

Elicia smiled and put her hand on his knee.

"Well, now you'll be able to see her."

"If I don't get dismissed from service altogether. Elicia, I burnt down four barracks and injured a fellow soldier. That's not exactly a slap on the wrist."

"But everyone knows you'd never put your comrades in danger, Chris. You're the most loyal guy here."

Chris sighed but he still felt horrible about what had happened.

"You ready?" he heard above him and saw Edward walking out slowly.

"Are you sure you should drive, Uncle Ed?"

"Probably not but there's no way I'm letting you drive. Elicia."

"How's your stomach, Colonel Elric?"

"It was less cumbersome to have my arm taken off than it is with this. Why can't they serve real meat anymore? It's not that hard…"

Elicia smiled as they both got up. She hugged Chris and he blushed a little.

"I hope everything works out, Chris."

"Yeah…"

She went back inside and Edward led the way to the car.

"I see you and Elicia have been getting along rather well these days."

"For the last time, Uncle Ed, we're not a thing. She's a really good friend, that's all."

"I'm sure, I'm sure…" he said, going to the driver's side of the car. "I mean, that's what I always said about Winry and here we are, married and about to have our first kid together."

"Elicia and I aren't like that. We come together to look into her father's death but that's it. We don't do things together outside of that."

"Yes, I'm sure." Edward said with a small smile.

Chris frowned and looked out the window.

* * *

The next day, Chris and Crimson sat at Edward's desk to wait for their punishment. Instead of Edward though, Alphonse came in and smiled at the two.

"Good new, Gentlemen, you're both suspended."

Chris buried his face in his hands as Crimson smiled.

"For how long?"

"Well, for Chris it's about two weeks. For you, Crimson, it's a month. Yours is longer because you've been in the military longer and should know better than to go outside of the designated area to practice alchemy. Especially with alchemy like the both of you have. The only reason you weren't dismissed was because you haven't had any offenses on your record." Alphonse tapped the papers on the desk and looked at him with a serious expression. "He said that this is a warning but will not be tolerated again."

"Yes sir." Crimson said with a mock salute.

"You may go."

He left with a whistle and a hop to his step.

Alphonse made a face and looked over at Chris, who looked like he was trying to hide.

"Chris, it's not the end of the world."

"I thought for sure they were going to dismiss me. I mean, I hurt someone…"

"Well, from what I understood, they could tell it was an accident and Warrant Officer Peterson actually isn't in as bad a shape as they thought. No real harm was done and you weren't convicted of arson so…"

"I guess I just go then?"

"Yup. How's Brother?"

"He's still having issues with food poisoning. The doctor came over yesterday and said that he needed to stay in bed with complete bed rest for another week. It's killing him to do it but Winry said she would beat him with a wrench if he didn't do what the doctor said."

"Yeah, she can be pretty scary at times. How's the baby?"

"Baby's doing good. Winry said it won't stop kicking around and she really believes its boy. Uncle Ed thinks it's a girl and wants to name her Trisha."

"That sounds like him. Well, are you going to go see Teacher with your time off?"

"Probably. Even though she's sicker than Uncle Ed I have a feeling she'll beat me up for hearing that I've been suspended and not taking a vacation or something civil like that."

Alphonse laughed. "Yeah, that sounds like her. She'll beat you up and then cough up blood without a care. Well, you'd better head home and tell Ed what the verdict was."

"I will."

Chris got up and headed down the hall when he saw Crimson talking to someone. He was about to say something when he noticed he looked a little different, talking to a senior officer in a really rude way. He decided to stay out of it and walked by when he heard them say something.

"You're taking too long to get things done. We could have had him a long time ago."

"It's not my fault that they didn't do the stuff right. I've been telling Hamilton for _years_ to hurry up and just give him the stuff but he says he can't let them lose trust in him."

"It's not that hard to manipulate him into getting alone with one of us. We can do the rest later. We have Hamilton making something for us already. I mean, have you grown soft?"

Chris didn't know what they were talking about but decided he didn't want to know.

* * *

A day later, Winry watched Chris get on the train and head to Dublith to go and see Izumi and Sig. She straightened his coat and smiled at him.

"Tell everyone hello for me and apologize for our absence."

"I will."

"And be safe out there! Don't talk to strangers!"

"I won't." he said, getting on the train.

He found a seat and sat down with a sigh, leaning on the window sill.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

"No, go ahead." He said, turning his head to look at who was talking to him when he jumped. "Elicia."

"Hi."

"Wh- what are _you_ doing here?"

"I asked if I could use my vacation time and decided to come along with you. Is… is that alright?"

Chris' cheeks blushed and he nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

"Great! Plus, I thought we could go over some things about my dad. I know I said to step back a little but I think going over a few solid things will at least help root out some other causes."

"Of course… Hey, Elicia?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe we're looking in the wrong place?"

"The wrong place?"

"Yeah…" The train started to move and Chris looked out the window. "I mean, what if it's not what it seems and there's a whole different avenue we should be exploring?"

"Like what?"

He turned back. "Well, your dad was looking into something involving the wars that had happened and was looking something up. He went to call Mustang at the military phones but decided not to and went to an outside line instead. He was killed in the booth with the phone still off the hook. Everything we've read so far seems to think that someone had something against your father and finally was able to take it out on him, but from what I've heard about your dad, he was a great guy. He found something out when he was looking into those wars. I think…" He scooted closer to Elicia as she scooted closer to him. "I think we should look into the wars that your father was looking into and look at a map."

"A map? What for?"

"I have this weird feeling that it has to do with the locations of the wars and stuff. I think that he found something out that some third party faction was involved in and _they_ killed him because of what he found out, not vengeance."

"I see… I think you might be right."

They talked discursively over the train ride, all the while, a woman with long wavy black hair sat on the opposite bench with her chin on her hand, a faint smirk on her lips as if something pleased her very much.

* * *

 **hmm, how peculiar indeed. and it looks like the investigation into maes' death is taking a deeper turn. the correlation between roy and chris will be brought up very very soon!**


	20. Chapter 20

**sorry for not updating this sooner!**

* * *

Elicia hid behind Chris as Sig looked down at them, his arms crossed and a none-too-pleased look on his face. Chris smiled nervously and waved.

"Hey, Dad…"

"Your mother is expecting you." He said, turning and walking away.

Chris groaned and put his face in his hand as Elicia came from behind him.

"That's your _Dad_?"

"Yeah and he's not the scary one…"

"Chris."

"Right!" he said, grabbing her hand and running after Sig. "So how's everything been? Is Mom alright?"

"She's fine. I wouldn't try small talk, it will get you nowhere."

Chris' shoulders slumped and they made their way to the car. Sig opened the door for them and then got in the driver's seat, heading back to the butchery.

* * *

Chris moved Elicia out of the way before she was hit and she yelped in surprise at the knife in the doorjamb.

"To think that _my child_ out of all in the military could get suspended for doing alchemy outside of the designated zones and then have the _audacity_ to come home."

"I'm glad you're well…" he mumbled.

"Don't sass me!" she growled, turning around. "What the hell was Edward doing with you up there? Shouldn't he have been watching you?"

"In all honesty-" Elicia piped up but Chris elbowed her.

"Uncle Ed was sick with food poisoning from the cafeteria and had been out all week. It was also during my free time so Uncle Ed would not be accountable for me, which is partly why I got suspended, Ma'am." He said, standing alert like he'd been taught to.

Although his mother wasn't a superior officer, she was just as scary as one; and this particular superior was crafty with alchemy, swordsmanship, knife throwing, and bear wrestling. All of the good qualities to kick his ass with if he stepped out of line.

"A stomach bug downed the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Izumi growled, making a face at her son.

"It's a particularly nasty bug. With teeth…"

Izumi made another face but finally burst into laughter and leaned on the counter.

Elicia was thoroughly confused but said nothing.

Izumi walked over to Chris and hugged him as he hugged her.

"I missed you, Chris."

"I missed you too, Mom- Umph!"

"That's what you get for being a dumbass. Now, who's your lovely friend?" she asked, looking at Elicia with curiosity.

"That's Elicia…" he rasped from the pain where Izumi had punched him in the stomach. "She's the daughter of Roy Mustang's friend Maes."

Izumi looked at her and she waved a little, uncomfortable.

"Did you know Colonel Mustang?"

"I met him when I was very little so I don't really remember much. I've seen pictures of him though."

"I see. So are you Chris' girlfriend?"

"No! Mom, wow… Hey, Elicia, let's go to your room." He growled, pushing her away.

Izumi watched them leave the room and chuckled as she leaned on Sig.

"They're cute."

"But he's not a kid."

"Yes he is, Sig."

"No… he isn't."

Izumi frowned. "I'm not having this argument with you again."

Sig didn't press the issue but he knew his wife was getting too attached to 'Chris' when she knew that that body belonged to Colonel Roy Mustang. Sig didn't want to forget the good times of raising him as their son but he also knew that playing house was just that, playing. There was a military man in that boy's body and brain and Sig didn't want to get hurt when it was revealed… he didn't want Izumi to get hurt either. He'd rather keep his distance and accept the fate he expected was inevitable.

* * *

"Your parents are… interesting."

"Yeah. My dad's large but he's really kind and my mom's small but she's… well, you saw."

"Your dad reminds me of a less talkative Major Armstrong… and your mom reminds me of Major Armstrong's sister. Have you ever seen a picture of her?"

"Catherine? I don't think-"

"No, not her. Major General Armstrong. She's stationed at Briggs."

"Oh. No I've never seen a picture of her."

"She's nothing like the Major and the air she gives off from the pictures I've seen remind me of your mother."

"Ah. You'll have to show me a picture some time."

Elicia swung her legs on the bed and looked around the room.

"I wouldn't have expected you from a place like this. It seems too tranquil for you."

"Really?" he said with a laugh.

"Yeah… I kind of saw you living life in a more daring or suave way."

"Sorry to disappoint-"

A pain went through his eye, an image of a large woman who was not that attractive but seemed quite kind appeared. She was saying something but he couldn't hear her. The only thing he could figure out was the last thing she said at the end of her sentence.

"Roy-boy…" Chris said softly.

"What? Are you alright? Who's Roy-boy?"

He laughed a little. "I don't know. That was weird."

Elicia made a face. "Well, are you going to show me around?"

"Yeah, let me just unpack my things and change my clothes."

She nodded and he went to his room.

As he unpacked his suitcase, he noticed there was something in the front of it and unzipped it. There was a small vial and a note attached for his mother and he smiled.

"I bed Uncle Ed slipped this in here for her to drink for her illness."

He went to the kitchen and tapped Izumi on the shoulder. She turned and he held the items out to her.

"I think Uncle Ed packed this for you."

Izumi made a face and took the vial and the letter. She opened the letter and then quickly closed it.

"Thank you, Chris. Yes this was for me."

He smiled and went back to his room.

Izumi quickly tucked the vial in her bra as she went to the table to read the note.

 _Teacher,_

 _I've come to the decision that it's not our place anymore on whether Chris should be Chris or if he should return to Colonel Mustang. I was unaware that the original formula that we wanted was made until recently. I was going to give it to Colonel Hawkeye but I fear that her attachment to the Colonel would make her do something rash. I would have kept it myself, but I had a feeling Chris would find it. So I'm trusting you, Teacher. I know that you love Chris as your own son but I also know that you know what's best for everyone._

 _You raised Chris as your child but you well know that he's a man who already had a life before he got into this madness. I'm entrusting you with the serum and the final decision. I believe it will work itself out on its own and his own mind will find a ground to stand on, but that's just my opinion. If you think we need Colonel Mustang again, let him take the serum. If you want him to work it out by himself, then send the serum back._

 _In truth, I don't know what I want out of him. Chris is a good kid with high intellect and amazing alchemical skills in both his own and in regular alchemy. The Colonel was the same, but it was in secret. He was perfect at diversion and misrepresentation. I know them both the most, having spent time with both almost equally. But you have to agree that the time has come for us to stop interfering. His mind is remembering and the more we try to stop it, the more it could backfire on us._

 _If you think about it, it could work to your favor but not explaining things correctly from the beginning and not doing the serums right in the beginning have made things so out of control. He needs to know who he is._

 _Please consider this carefully. On one hand, we could lose a great man and gain a good boy. On the other, we would lose a wonderful boy and regain a valued military officer._

 _Thank you_

 _Colonel Edward Elric_

 _Izumi didn't realize s_ he was crying until she folded up the note and stuffed it back in the envelope. She hated that Edward wasn't there so she could punch him in the face for making _her_ the one to decide. She had caused the mishap in the first place because she was selfish. If she had just done it right then things would have been more normal, but she didn't. She wanted to raise a child as her own, have someone who needed her love… All she wanted was a family.

She looked at the serum for a moment. This was the original purpose for her keeping Chris. They needed someone they could trust to get their Colonel back, raise him to be a good man… but Edward was right in that not telling him anything in regards to his former life as the Colonel added to the issue. Doing this to him now would be cruel for the boy he has grown up to be. Izumi pulled the vial out and walked over to a drawer in the kitchen. She opened it up and stuck the note and the vial in there.

"It's his mind and his body. It deserves to make its own decision."

* * *

"This place is so quaint!" Elicia said, looking happy as she went along the street.

Chris was watching her but his head was killing him. Ever since she mentioned his 'alternate' form of being raised, the sharp pain and the memory came and went but the headache remained. He seemed to be having a lot of these headaches lately when people mentioned certain things or he saw certain things. He would have flashes of memories –or something- and then a dull headache would be left behind.

"Chris? You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…"

"What is there to do here?"

"Not much. It's not as nice as Central here. They have a nice library though."

"Ooh, goody. We can look up those wars I was telling you about."

"Sure… but, maybe later? I mean, it's almost sundown."

"Right. So what is your mom cooking?"

"Probably steak or something."

Elicia smiled as they went back to the house.

When they walked in, it looked like Izumi, Sig, and Mason were having a pretty deep discussion when they heard the door close. Sig turned as Chris looked at everyone.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." Izumi said with a smile. "I hope you're hungry Elicia, right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Ooh, she called me a ma'am." Izumi said with a titter.

"We made you a big meal since I'm sure you're starving from the train ride and train food." Mason said, smiling at them. "I'm Mason, by the way. I help out in the butchery."

"Nice to meet you."

Chris wasn't very hungry, although everything looked delicious. His stomach was in knots and yet he felt like he was going to hurl at any second.

"Chris? Are you alright?" Izumi asked.

"I… I'm not feeling too well. Maybe I please be excused?"

Izumi nodded and he left, going to his room to lay down. He curled up on himself and laid there in silence, listening to the muffles of voices and the clinking of plates from outside of his room. He felt himself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

 _Who are you?_

Chris' eye flews open and he looked around wildly. He tried to figure out who had spoken to him but there was no one there. He was still in his day clothes and decided he should get ready for bed even though it was late. He took his clothes off and stopped in front of the mirror, looking at the burns on the back of his arms and his back in general. He knew he had them but Izumi never told him how he got them. He just remembered them always being there. He walked closer to the mirror, turning to look at the scars a little when he looked up again. He saw someone standing behind him but when he looked back, he saw that they weren't there.

Slowly, Chris looked back at the mirror and there he was, standing there quite calm but with a curious expression. Chris knew that ghosts didn't exist.

"H- How did you get here?"

He lifted an eyebrow and looked at him in the mirror.

"I've always been here."

"That's impossible. You went missing a long time ago."

"Is that what they say?"

"They searched for you for _months_. What are you? A ghost?"

"No."

"Then… how come I only see you in the mirror?"

"Because that's the only place I _could_ be."

"In the… mirror…?"

"Yes."

"You're not making any sense."

"Well, none of this would make sense to _you_ since you don't know what's going on. But _I_ do. Now I have a question for _you_."

"Okay…"

"Who are you and why do you have my body?"

* * *

 **let the battle begin...**


	21. Chapter 21

**sorry for the gap but i put myself in a block with that last chapter. but we move onward... and i can't remember if i said that chris knows he's adopted or not... too many things to think about**

* * *

A shriek woke Elicia and she bolted from her bedroom to Chris' room, yanking open the door. She found Chris on the ground, staring at the mirror with a look of terror and she turned to it. The glass was shattered and a small figurine was on the floor where he had thrown it at the mirror. Sig and Izumi came in, looking worried.

"Chris? What's wrong? What happened?"

Chris pointed to the mirror.

"He… he… He was there!"

"Who was there?"

"Colonel Mustang! He's in the mirror, _staring_ at me! He… he asked why I had his body!"

Izumi looked at Sig as he breathed in. Elicia walked over to Chris and knelt next to him.

"Chris, look at me." He turned to her, shaking. "Colonel Mustang is dead-"

"No! No, he's… he's not dead… I feel it… He's not dead…" He hit the side of his head with his fist, trying to think. "Shit! There's so much going on!"

Sig suddenly left the room and Izumi grabbed Elicia's arm.

"You need to come with me."

"What's going on?"

"None of your business, little girl." She snapped.

Elicia was taken aback by the gruffness when Sig came back with Mason in tow. A scream came from Chris' room and Elicia had just enough time to see him holding his head and screaming, his body arching and going into spasms, before they shut the door.

Left on her own, Elicia looked around a little, not sure what to do. She wanted to make sure that Chris was alright but the family seemed very adamant on not having her involved. She decided to try and occupy her mind with her father's case instead and looked around the house to see if there were any books that could help her out.

* * *

She found the small library and looked on the shelves to see if she could find any map books when she found two photo albums instead. Even though she had been trying to think of Maes' case, Chris was screaming at the top of his lungs at the moment, and even through two rooms in the house, Elicia could hear them as if he were right next to her. Focusing on her father's case wasn't going to help her in the least and she grabbed the photo albums off the shelf. She went to the small desk and opened on up, finding pictures of her two superiors as children. She had to smile, since they were pretty cute. It went through the ages, although she didn't understand why Al was wearing that weird suit of armor when he was a teenager but then it should Edward getting married and it ended.

She opened the other album and found pictures of Chris in there. She smiled, since he was pretty cute, but she noticed that his baby pictures were a little off. There were no pictures of when he was a newborn baby or anywhere between before he was about ten years old. Another shriek made her jump and she sighed.

"This is ridiculous…" she mumbled.

She got up and put the books back and headed to the kitchen. She decided that the least she could do is make some coffee or tea for everyone when they were done with whatever they were doing. She found the kettle and poured water into it and found some tea leaves in a tin.

"Spoons, spoons…" she said, looking around.

She started pulling drawers open to try and find the spoons when she pulled one open and found a piece of paper, a syringe, and a vial of liquid in it. At first Elicia was creeped out, wondering what kind of family this was, when she caught a glimpse of the first sentence of the letter. _I've come to the decision that it's not our place anymore on whether Chris should be Chris or if he should return to Colonel Mustang?_ Elicia read in her mind and pulled the letter out, reading it in its entirety.

Once she was finished, she didn't realize she was crying until the tear tickled her cheek. She brushed it off before it fell onto the paper and she folded it back up. She continued looking for spoons and dipped tea leaves into the cups, the kettle beginning to whistle just in time. She poured the water into the cups, putting saucers over them to steep and then waited for a second. When hers was done, Elicia poured at dash of milk into hers and sat the kitchen table where she burst into tears.

* * *

 _You can't just take someone else's body._

Chris opened his eyes and found himself on the bed in his room. He looked over and found Izumi was beside him. He shook his head a little sat up, looking around.

"What a weird dream…" he said, getting up and going to the bathroom to relieve himself.

When he was done, he went to wash his hands and his face when he looked in the mirror and jumped.

"Stop that."

"How… How are you-"

"We had this discussion last night. I asked you question."

Chris pointed at the mirror.

"You're nothing but a figment of my imagination. I don't know why you're suddenly showing up out of the blue, but I'm not having it."

He walked away and started to head back to his room.

 _Just because you walk away from the mirror doesn't mean I'm not still here._

Chris looked around for a second and his eyes widened.

"What. The. Fuck…"

 _I **asked you** a question: why do you have my body?_

"I don't have your body. This is my body, I was born with it."

 _Were you?_

"Yes-"

 _Born, that is._

Chris stopped for a second. "What?"

 _Were you **really** born?_

"Of course I was. What kind of question is that?"

 _I'm not answering your question until you answer mine. I want to know why you're in my body. What's your name?_

"Chris."

The voice was silent and Chris thought that he had gone away.

 _This wasn't supposed to happen._

"What?"

 _They did it wrong._

"I don't know or care who did what, just shut up and stop talking in my head. You're making me sound like a crazy person."

The voice didn't answer and Chris sighed. He would have to ask Edward about what was happening. He didn't want to scare his mother and Edward would be more calm and understanding… He went to the kitchen and found Elicia laying on the table, asleep. He shook her shoulder and she stirred, sitting up a little. Her eyes finally laid on Chris and she blinked a little, gasping.

"What's your problem?" he asked.

Elicia shook her head and smiled tiredly.

"I'm sorry, I just… I thought you were someone else."

"Well, I'm me… Did you want to go to the library and see if we can find that map?"

"Yeah… Let me shower."

He nodded, waiting for her.

* * *

After the incident, things seemed normal and although Elicia was acting a little stranger than usual, everyone else acted as if nothing had happened. His break ended too abruptly for him and he had to go back to Central.

He hugged Izumi at the train station and she put her hand on his cheek.

"The next time you come back, you had better not be in trouble."

"I won't, Mom. I've learned my lesson."

"I hope so… Please be careful in Central."

"I will. Bye, Dad." He said to Sig.

Sig smiled at him and Chris got onto the train.

Izumi smiled at Elicia and handed her an envelope.

"Please give this to Edward when you see him. He'll be expecting it."

Elicia took the envelope when she felt something in it. She knew immediately that it was a response to the letter that she had read and the syringe and vial. She smiled a little and nodded.

"Will do, Mrs. Curtis."

The two left on the train and the Curtis' watched them.

When the train left, Izumi looked at Sig.

"She knows."

"Yeah."

"Poor girl…"

"What will happen now?"

"Chris' mind is unraveling itself and fitting its own pieces together. It looks like Roy has finally come to claim his body but… another consciousness is there. I screwed up, Sig…"

"You did what any mother would do."

"No, we should have let him know that he was Mustang from the start. This transition, if it even _is_ a transition, will be the most difficult thing he will have to face. His mind will figure it out, I'm sure but at what cost?"

* * *

 _Edward,_

 _I decided to let Chris' body and mind decide on their own. He had an episode during his break and we have come to realize what a mistake we had made. We thought it was for the better that he not know who he was, so that he would grow up normal, but we failed to realize that no matter what happened, Roy **would** come back. It's **his** body and **his** mind. Chris was supposed to be an alias, not a real person. When Roy finally came back to himself, whether by the serum or in time, it was supposed to be a seamless melding._

 _But we made Chris real, a completely separate person, and now what you said would happened has happened. We &will& lose someone to the domination of the other. Can a mind murder itself? It's two consciousnesses trying to claim a body, two completely separate people… I fear for Chris, as my son, but in all honesty… Chris is someone I made up. **I** created Chris Curtis as an individual to make me feel like the mother I could never be. You all asked me to keep your superior safe and I did not fulfill that duty. I have now caused Colonel Mustang to choose a horrible way of right and wrong: is he getting his body back because a boy stole it, or is he stealing a boy's body from a boy who had no idea what was going on?_

 _The serum is in the envelope._

 _Don't ever ask me to do this again._

 _Izumi Curtis_

"Elicia? What are you reading?"

Elicia looked up and tried to look as natural as possible.

"Oh, just a few notes I had taken during my visit. I would like to go back again but for an actual vacation instead of research."

Chris nodded and Elicia stuck the letter back in the envelope, resealing it as her heart died.

* * *

 **so elicia knows that chris is mustang. the battle has begun as the decision has to be made on who will claim the body.**


	22. Chapter 22

**sorry this kind of tidbits about**

* * *

"I'm home!" Chris said, closing the door behind him. "Elicia's with me!"

"Are you sure they're home?"

"They should be… It's not even 1:00 yet… I let them know yesterday that we were coming home today…" he said, looking around the clean kitchen.

"Maybe we should just leave our stuff here and then go to Headquarters. Most likely at least Colonel Elric is there."

"True, but where is Winry?" he asked, looking a little worried.

"Come on." Elicia said, grabbing his hand. "Let's go to Headquarters."

* * *

Edward rubbed the back of his neck as he came out of the meeting that the Fuhrer had held with all of his leading personnel. Drachma was starting to close in on the North and the Fuhrer needed to have a meeting with everyone in case there was a war that got started. Although there hadn't been a problem with them in years and threats of war floating around for the same amount of time, the communication with the Briggs soldiers indicated that Drachma's threats were no longer just threats anymore.

"Are you ready for war, Brother?" Alphonse asked, walking next to Edward.

"No. I'm not ready for any of this. I don't know why I thought staying in the military was a good idea. We should have just gone back home to Risembool when the Colonel was changed."

"Then you wouldn't have found a way to get me back to normal though. We can't say that it was all for naught."

"That's true." He said with a smile. He then frowned when he saw the wall clock. "Shit, Chris is back home. I was supposed to be back but that meeting took longer than expected."

"Isn't Winry home?"

"I told her to go ahead and have lunch with Mrs. Hughes because I'd be there to meet Chris."

"Well if you hurry you can make it home."

"Uncle Ed!"

Edward and Alphonse turned as Chris and Elicia walked in past the chaos of the other officers.

"You weren't home so we thought you might be here. Where's Aunt Winry?"

"She's having lunch with Elicia's mother. I was supposed to be back home but we had a meeting and it went on longer than expected. How was Teacher?"

"Weak but well."

"How did you enjoy Dublith, Elicia?" Alphonse asked.

"It was interesting. I've never been to a small town before. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were quite interesting."

"That's an understatement." Edward said.

Chris looked around for a minute, noticing the atmosphere.

"What's going on? Everyone seems really frazzled."

"We just got word that Drachma may be finally going through with their attack on the North. The Fuhrer was having a briefing over that fact and if we had to go and help out Briggs and the Northern military unit."

" _Will_ we?" Chris asked.

"Hopefully not." Edward said with a frown.

"I think it'd be awesome."

"War isn't a game, Chris." Riza said, walking up to them. "Killing and watching other people get killed is not fun. In a time of peace, the young ones want war so they can experience the thrill of the battle but there is _nothing_ good that comes from war. You become part of a roulette game and there is a 1/1000 chance you will survive. Those odds are not favorable."

"Buzz-kill, Auntie Riza." Chris said with a frown.

"It's true, Chris. I've never been in war but I've seen the aftermath of it. It seems exciting but there is just a lot of blood and screaming and the only thing that is going through your mind is just staying alive. Amestris doesn't matter on the battlefield, _you_ do." Edward reaffirmed.

Chris just frowned as Alphonse looked at Riza.

"Do you think it will happen?" he asked.

"If we had a meeting about it then I'm pretty sure they're going to send troops to the North any day now. I need to go speak with my men."

Riza walked away as Alphonse waved at them.

"I'll see you guys later. Thanks for letting me sneak in, Brother."

Edward made a face but waved his brother off.

"Well, if you'll give me a second, Chris, I'll head back home with you. You don't technically come back for another couple of days so you'll be at home for that time."

"I figured."

"Go wait for me outside."

Chris nodded as Elicia loitered around.

"Is there something I can do for you, Sergeant?"

"I have this letter from Mrs. Curtis." She said, handing it to him. "She told me to give it to you."

He took it and nodded. "Thank you."

She left and Edward went to his office.

* * *

"Of all the times you want to have a conscience, Teacher…" Edward grumbled at the letter.

He picked up the phone and started to dial when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Elicia walked in, closing the door behind her.

"Colonel Elric, I need to ask you something quite important."

"Can it wait for a moment? I need to make a phone call-"

"It's about Chris, sir."

"What about him?"

"And… Colonel Mustang."

Edward stopped dialing and set the receiver down. Elicia played with her fingers and Edward motioned for her to sit down.

"What did you need to speak about?"

"You… you said that you didn't know where the Colonel went, that he was lost and they could never find him. But he's been right here, right under everyone's noses as Chris, isn't he?"

Edward didn't say anything for a moment.

"I think you can answer your own question."

Elicia's eyes began to fill with tears but she tried to keep them at bay.

"Why did you lie to everyone? Why did you lie to _me_? You know I've been trying to figure out what happened to my father and to the Colonel but you've just been… you just lied to me…"

Edward folded his hands on the desk.

"The situation is very complicated. It's a convoluted mess that shouldn't have gone the way it did. Chris should have… well, Chris should have never been created."

"I don't really understand what happened. I know that he's the Colonel-"

"No, he's not the Colonel. That's his body, but that's not the Colonel."

"Can you please help me understand?"

"Considering you delved into a very tricky matter and the privacy of a case in the military-"

"I stumbled across a letter sent to Mrs. Curtis by you when I was looking for a spoon!" Elicia yelled, looking at Edward angrily. "I was confused about Chris and was just trying to calm down and found a letter that said the boy I know, the boy I secretly- the boy I wanted to know better, was actually the man I've been searching for all along to help me with my father's death. I didn't _try_ to get into the matter, I just stumbled upon it. But now I know and I want some answers. Please."

Edward sighed. "Does Chris know you're here?"

"I said that I needed to check on some things."

"I'll tell you what I can then."

* * *

 _Did I hear right and Drachma is moving in on the North?_

Chris jumped almost a foot and looked around, not seeing anyone.

 _In here, kid._

"You're not real."

 _You can deny the fact that you stole my body as much as you want but I'm **going** to get it back and I'll be here, in the back of your mind, until I regain it. So in the mean time, you'll just have to live with it._

"You're just a figment of my imagination. If I believe you're there, then I admit that I'm crazy." He grumbled.

 _You'd be crazy if I was another personality, but I'm not. This is my body and you act like you have the right to it._

"Lalala! I'm not listening!" Chris said, putting his hands over his ears.

 _You can't keep me out when I'm in here, dumbass. Whatever you are, you're pretty dumb._

"I'm not anything. I'm Chris Curtis and you're a voice in my head that's getting really annoying."

 _No, I'm the owner of this body and having to stay back here because someone else is using my body. Go away and let me have it back._

"You keep saying that I stole your body when it's mine to begin with."

 _Then riddle me this, genius, how come you look so much like Colonel Roy Mustang? **Uncannily so**?_

Chris had to admit that it was an odd coincidence that he looked so much like Roy Mustang. He looked in the window and as he thought, he saw Roy standing behind him, looking at him patiently.

"What are you trying to say to me then? Are you trying to say that… that what? I'm not real?" Chris said with a nervous laugh.

Roy looked at him in the window.

"That's _exactly_ what I'm saying."

"Who in the world are you talking to?"

Chris jumped again and turned, seeing Edward and Elicia watching him in confusion.

"I… Heh, I'm just… talking to myself…"

"I see. Well, let's get home. I'm sure you're tired."

"Yeah… that must be it."

 _Is that Fullmetal? He actually grew some._

"Will you shut _up_?" Chris mumbled under his breath. "I don't remember them saying you were this talkative."

 _Yes, well, history books have the tendency to write from the victor's point of view or the historian's point of view. But no, I'm usually not this talkative. Being shoved out of your own brain isn't exactly the time of your life._

"Stop it!" Chris yelled.

Edward looked back at him as Chris put his hand to his head.

"Are you alright?"

"My head is hurting… You're doing this to me aren't you?" he growled.

 _I'm trying to get my body back, thank you._

"Do it later! We're in the middle of Central!" he snarled, putting his hands to his head as if he were trying to push something down.

Edward and Elicia looked at each other as Chris seemed to struggle with some inner 'demons'. He finally seemed to gain control and looked at Edward, his face looking tired.

"I need to go home…"

Edward just nodded.

* * *

Gracia and Winry came home later that day and Elicia ran to her mother, hugging her hard.

"It's good to see you too, sweetheart. How did you like it?"

"It was pretty fun. I've never been to a small town before."

"Not like the big city, is it?" Winry said, rubbing her small baby belly. "I remember when I went to Dublith for the first time. Of course, it's a little more populated than Risembool but Mrs. Curtis is… a sight to see."

"Yeah, she's really different."

Edward laughed. "That's the extremely polite way to put it."

"Where's Chris? I wanted to say hello to him." Gracia asked.

"He wasn't feeling very well so he's in the bed."

"Headaches again?" Winry asked.

"Yeah." He said with a look that Winry knew.

"Oh well, tell him I said hello and to stop by from time to time."

"Will do. Bye, Elicia."

She left and Edward began to tell Winry about what happened.

* * *

Later than night, Edward knocked on Chris' door.

"Chris, you in there? Are you alright?"

The door opened and Chris looked at Edward with a look that Edward hadn't seen in years.

"It wasn't that hard of a task, Fullmetal. How did you manage to screw this assignment up so badly?"

Edward blinked for a second and then realized the he… wasn't looking at Chris.

"Colonel?"

"Damn right, it's me. Now explain what the hell went wrong and why I'm having to fight a child for my body."

* * *

 **yes, edward, explain that to him. i'm sure it will go well**

 **and you have to imagine this mental issue like a car. chris is driving the 'car' so the speak and when he has headaches, it's as if mustang (who has been sleeping in the back of the car) is trying to take the wheel and is pulling chris from the driver's seat but chris is still hanging on to the steering wheel. when he sees mustang, it's like someone looking in their rear view mirror and seeing someone int he backseat. to get back into the driver's seat, mustang has to get chris into the backseat and... well... yeah... hope that makes sense.**


	23. Chapter 23

**sorry for not writing on this one much anymore but BROKEN kind of took over my fanfic life haha. now that it's over, i can get back to this one and finish it up too!**

 **ps: i think i might be using the word persona way wrong. so forgive me...**

* * *

Edward glared at the Colonel and pointed at him.

"Explain what went wrong?!" He shoved him into the room and shut the door behind him. "How about you and your idiotic rushing into things?! _You're_ the one who didn't want to wait for people to do the potions right and jumped the gun! _You_ caused your own problem!"

"I am aware of how all of this happened. I want to know why I'm still _here_!"

"What do you mean? You asked us to make you a new person!"

"Yes! Make _me_ a new person. As in, I shouldn't be here. We shouldn't be talking because I would be someone else." Roy sat on the bed and put his face in his hands. "Now I've got a kid in my head who doesn't know what the hell he's gotten himself into. What happened? Tell me why I'm like a separate person."

Edward leaned against the dresser and crossed his arms.

"It was supposed to be seamless… we… we had a way to get you back but it was going to take a long time. We didn't know how long though and so we tried to be neutral about the choice. We chose me and Al's teacher to make the decision to make you remember yourself as Roy or be someone else completely. They tried to make you someone else but it somehow got misconstrued and out of hand."

"You think?" he growled, looking at him.

They stared at each other for a moment and Roy looked away.

"It's weird to see you like that."

"Like what?"

"Tall."

Edward frowned. "Nice to see you again too, Bastard."

Roy laughed and stood up, running his fingers through his hair.

"What do we do?"

"That's a good question." Edward said. "We kind of decided that we would let the two of you battle it out. It's one body with two minds fighting for survival, technically. It's beyond us…"

Roy touched the footboard of the bed.

"Who… who would you rather I be?"

Edward sighed. "That _is_ the question. You both mean very much to me; you are my superior and Chris is like a kid to me. I've known Chris longer and watched him grow, but everything I know is from you… You can't let us decide for you, Colonel. I mean… that's not fair. That's what got you and us into this mess the first time. Now we've got a body with two people fighting for it, two people that we love, and whoever wins will kill the other."

Roy nodded a little and breathed in.

"I'm going for a walk… can I do that?"

"Do what you want."

Roy left with Edward behind him and watched him leave the house.

* * *

The town had changed since he had been… indisposed. Not by much but there were a little more houses than usual. He went to the park and sat on the bench there, looking at the stars.

 _Let me out!_ Chris yelled.

"Shut up."

 _See how annoying that is?_

"Shut up! I'm trying to think…"

Chris was silent for a moment.

 _What are you thinking about?_

"My life." He growled.

"Chris?"

 _Someone's calling me!_

Roy turned as Elicia walked from the shadows. He cursed under his breath, not wanting to be interrupted but he wouldn't turn away the daughter of his closest friend. It was odd to see her like this, older and mature. She was a beautiful girl and Maes would have been even more protective of her now than she was when she was three. Elicia sat on the bench beside him and she looked at him.

"What are you doing?"

"Thinking and stargazing."

"I see… I didn't think anyone else did that."

"It helps clear the mind."

Elicia could tell that there was something different about Chris but didn't mention it.

"What do you have on our mind? Maybe I can help?"

Roy sighed. "I highly doubt it. It's complicated."

"Humor me."

Roy looked at her and saw her father in her eyes. She was a good person, just like Maes. He could always trust him and he knew that he could always trust his daughter.

"Alright… well… let's imagine something for a minute, okay?"

"Okay."

"Let's say a man has two minds. They share a body but only one can dominate. One of these minds was made on top of the other, supposedly to bury the old one… but this second mind was not done properly and now the first mind is awakening. Now, there are two minds, two technical people, vying for the brain and body. I wonder if it's cruel to -hypothetically speaking- chain up the second mind and let the first mind take over since it was originally his alone… or would it be best for the second personality to chain up the first; the first had lost and winner takes all."

Elicia realized what he was talking about but said nothing about it. She would deal with the fact that Chris and Mustang were aware of each other later. Right now, one or the other needed her help. She thought for a moment.

"Well… why can't they mold and help one another?"

Roy smiled. "Unfortunately, they could probably never mold. Things have gone too far… The personas are too developed."

Elicia smiled. "I see. So it's one or the other?"

"Yes."

"Then maybe this man should look at the people around him and try to figure out which person these people need the most. Do those who knew the first mind need him still and will that outweigh the needs of the ones he knows now or is it the opposite?"

Roy smiled. "In either situation… do you think it would be cruel to the mind that could still be there?"

Elicia leaned back on the bench and crossed her arms over her chest.

"That depends. If the second mind was built on the first, then I honestly don't see how they can't meld together. I mean… it seems more like split personalities."

"It's not like that. I _wish_ it was. It would be ten times easier if it was just that." Roy said with a bitter laugh.

 _You got that right._ Chris growled.

"What brought this on anyway?"

"I had heard some people talking about some 'what if' situations…" Roy dug his fingers in his hair as he put his face in his palms. "God… it feels like no matter what happens someone dies."

"How could that be?"

"These two minds are very different, grew up different, raised by different people. They are a persona, a _person_. They aren't just a personality or someone created, but a real person. The second mind was supposed to override the first, but it didn't happen."

Elicia dared to venture into the crux of the strange issue between the man who was her father's best friend and the boy who was hers.

"Can you elaborate a little more on what you're trying to tell me?"

Roy looked up and sighed.

"Okay… Name someone, anyone."

"Me?"

"That works. Let's say something weird happened and you started turning into a baby." Elicia gave him a look. "Humor me… anyway, as you started getting younger and younger, your mind would start to block off the memories of yourself. Not that the memories would disappear, but the brain was just pushing them back, repressing them. You decide that your life has been full of too many bad things -or whatever- and so you ask a friend, maybe me, to give you a new life. You don't even want to be called Elicia. You technically want to start over. But, there is medicine that is in the works that can help turn you back to normal and even unblock your memories later. I, as your friend, want to keep your persona as Elicia there, I don't _want_ you to be someone else. So you give me a choice: to remind you of who you used to be or to make someone new. Are you with me so far?"

"I think so."

"If you get confused let me know… it's hard to explain."

"I think I'm getting it so far. Continue…"

"So the day comes when you turn into a baby and lose all of your memories, they are blocked off and can't be undone until that medicine is available. The medicine seems like it will take lifetimes and since I'm your best friend and I know what you've gone through, I decide that maybe you _should_ have a different life. Let's say your mom is gone too, for the sake of argument, and I know a couple who would love to have a daughter like you. I trust this couple and they've known me and my family and friends for a long time, so they've heard about you too. I tell them what has happened and they agree to take care of you. I decide that even though I love you, as my friend, that it would be selfish of me to make a decision because I would be biased. So I ask the couple to make the decision for me. Now… here's where things get tricky."

"Just now?"

Roy smiled. "Ironically yes… You see, the thing that made you turn into a baby only repressed your memories because it was too much for your changing state. Technically, when you grow back up it would release your old memories a little at a time. So "Elicia" coming back isn't a far off possibility, it would just take a very long time. That being said, the couple decide that they want to make you their own. During the years, you grow up and live your life, but your old memories are slowly seeping in. They cause problems and you wonder what they are. Would you want to be told about what happened and be prepared, having the chance to mold the two together? Or would you want to keep your new life in line and not be told what was going on?"

Elicia looked away, understanding way too much of what was happening.

"I would want to know and make the choice of either following my own path, preparing for whatever my old memories brought or going with my memories and trying to figure out who I was and become them again."

"What if you didn't have a choice? What if the latter of the questions was forced upon you? What if your old persona emerged and you technically discovered that you weren't able to control your body? As if you could see someone directing how your body should work. They look just like you, but they aren't you and you feel like you've been invaded… But as you watch them, trying to understand, you realize that the people around you know this other persona and that they are now technically their own separate entity. They are a person… what would you do?"

Elicia sighed. She could tell that the question wasn't just to her as a pose to the fake scenario but a _real_ question in regards to the _real_ scenario.

"If I took over, would it kill the other persona or would they just be there, trapped, me always knowing?"

"Well, since while they are in control, you are trapped, I would assume the opposite is true."

"What would happen if one or the other forfeited?"

Roy looked at her. "Forfeited?"

"Yeah… What if I decided, in this scenario, that the persona controlling my body was better off for the people around me? What if I didn't want to remember my life and just wanted to be free? If I forfeit my body and mind, would it kill me?"

"I don't know…"

"What about this also: the brain can't technically forget what's been taken into it unless by illness. So even if I, Elicia, forfeited my persona to allow the other to 'live on' so the speak, then "Elicia's" memories would still be there, just… never brought to the forefront. But if that medicine came out and the other persona found out on their own that they used to be me, would taking the medicine erase them and bring me back?"

Roy thought for a second as Chris watched from afar.

"Or would that, in turn, actually meld the two of us together?"

"That's a good question…"

Elicia stood up and grabbed Roy's hands, pulling him up as well.

"I think it would be a matter of who is more important as of right now in the stream of time: me or the other girl."

Roy smiled kindly at her. "I think that answers the question."

"Good… then let's stop talking about all this nonsense with brains and stuff. Let's go get an ice cream."

She pulled him along to a late night ice cream stand.

* * *

Edward drummed his fingers on the table when the front door finally opened. He watched as Roy walked in and then turned, seeing Edward.

"Fullmetal…"

"I thought you were going for a walk, not a damned midnight train ride to East City! What took you so long?"

"I met up with Elicia and we talked."

Although Edward already knew she knew, he didn't know if Roy knew she now knew.

"Does she know?"

"No… I don't think so. I mean the subject was a bit pinpointing but I didn't elaborate too much to raise suspicion."

"I see…"

Roy seemed pensive and Edward watched him calmly.

"Are you alright?"

"I made my decision."

Edward breathed in. "I see. And?"

"You'll… find out in the morning."

Edward wasn't sure what side of Roy's personality would emerge with this dilemma: his honorable one or his selfish one. He stood up and walked over to him, pulling Roy into a hug.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"In case we don't meet again… I've missed you, you bastard."

Roy hugged him tightly. "I've missed you too, Fullmetal Pipsqueak… I've missed everyone so much…"

They stayed like that for a while and Roy finally pulled away.

"I'm going to bed…"

Edward nodded and watched him leave.

* * *

 _I forfeit._

* * *

 **ooh, so who was the one who forfeited and what does that mean for the body and mind? what does the forfeit even mean? are they gone gone or what?**

 **just to say: the scenario is confusing already. i tried my best to explain it. i hope it made some sort of sense. i know what I'm trying to say but whether or not you understand is the main point. i seem to end up doing this mindfuck all the time. anyhow, moving onwards...**


	24. Chapter 24

**so good job me, i got myself into an even bigger rut with last chapter's cliffy. *shot* anyway, sorry for the temporary hiatus of this story. i apologize if this seems a little rushed, it was not my intention.**

* * *

Edward had tossed and turned all night long. He didn't know who was going to come walking out of that door in the morning and the suspense was killing him. He loved both of them and didn't know what he would do without them, but he didn't know which one he would prefer to see leave… Then again, why would he prefer to see either of them leave? He wished there was a way to give one of them another body so that he could have them both.

But even he couldn't do that.

They weren't souls that could be transferred.

"Edward?" Winry mumbled, turning over to look at her husband.

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep… You're making me anxious."

"Sorry…"

He got up and decided it would be best if he slept on the couch instead. He knew it wouldn't stop and he would just anger his wife further. She was already scary when she was angry as is, but now that she was pregnant? He didn't want to know what kind of wrath she could bring with that.

* * *

As dawn crept over the horizon, Edward couldn't keep his eyes open any longer. His eyelids drooped down over his eyes and he felt his head and body become heavy when he heard the door open. His eyes shot open as he sat up and watched the entry to the living room. He waited pensively.

The footsteps padded against the floor and an obnoxious yawn was heard as Roy (or Chris) came around the corner. Upon seeing Edward, he gave a smile.

"Morning, Uncle Ed."

Edward's heart fell so hard that he didn't even comprehend what had happened. His muddled mind raced for balance, trying to regain the knowledge that Mustang was now gone. He was no more. This body that had held a secret pocket for his superior, a hope that he could be there, no longer hosted that promise. Roy Mustang was gone and Chris was what remained.

Chris was very confused as he watched Edward clutch his chest as if he were hurt. He walked over to him quickly and sat on the coffee table.

"Uncle Ed, are you alright?"

Edward looked at him, this innocent child made from such a stupid mistake and selfishness… A child with no blame in his creation… He wished he didn't think what he was thinking in the back of his mind but it was there and he knew it would always be there: _You murdered Roy Mustang._

"Uncle Ed?"

Edward smiled as well as he could and touched Chris' cheek.

"It's okay, I'm fine."

Chris furrowed his eyebrows at him. "Are you sure? You're crying… I've never seen you cry."

Edward wiped his tears and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I didn't have a good night sleep last night."

"That doesn't really explain anything."

"I know… Winry should be up soon to fix breakfast. I'm going to have to call in so I can sleep."

"Did you have some bad dreams or something?"

Edward smiled a little. "Yeah… something like that."

Chris nodded as Edward got up and went to his own bed.

* * *

Edward climbed the stairs and opened the door to his bedroom just as Winry was getting up. She stretched and looked over at the door when she noticed Edward's red eyes.

"Ed? What's wrong?"

He didn't say anything as he went to the bed and crawled into it, putting his glasses on the table. He pulled the covers over him and just laid there. Winry frowned and crawled over to him, touching his shoulder.

"Ed?"

"He's gone…"

"Who?"

"Mustang."

"What do you mean?"

Edward turned over as Winry laid beside him, pulling his head to her to lay on her shoulder. She played with his hair as he tried to pull his mind together.

"Last night… last night the Colonel broke through Chris' consciousness. I was actually talking to him! It was like old times for just a second but… They had to choose… they had to figure out which one was going to dominate the body and…"

"Chris won?"

"Mustang _let him_. Typical asshole colonel…"

Winry smiled as Edward nuzzled a little into the crook of her neck.

"Are you angry with him?"

"I'm angry at the whole thing! All we were doing was what we were ordered to and… and _now_ he wants to save face? _Now_ he wants to be noble?"

Winry ran her fingers through her husband's hair softly.

"I know you feel like you've failed but from the way you're saying it, it looks like Mustang made this choice himself. No one forced him to do it… and that was the way he was. From what everyone told me, he had only two sides and that was his stubborn side and his noble side and this was very noble for him to do. To just let someone else (supposedly) take over his brain and body, forfeiting everything to keep Chris alive… That sounds like the Mustang everyone remembers and loved."

Edward nodded. "I know… it's just… For the longest time we had a shot, some sort of hope that he was still in there, waiting but… he's gone…"

Winry leaned over and kissed him on the head and then rubbed his cheek.

"Don't worry about it. Just act the way you have been and everything will be fine. I'll make Chris some breakfast and you just rest up today."

He nodded and she left the room. Edward curled up in the bed and fell asleep immediately, tears still falling.

* * *

After a couple of days of mourning for Edward over something Chris didn't understand, they were both going to be able to go to Central again. Chris' probation was up and Edward was finally able to face the others and be able to deliver the news. As the two walked into Central, the tension seemed high and they both looked at each other.

"Is it just me or does it seem like we just walked into something serious?" Chris asked.

"No, it's not just you. Something's wrong…"

They both hurried into the building and up to the second floor where their department was. As they exited the elevator, they came into a flurry of people, buzzing talks, and frazzled messengers. Edward walked towards his office and opened the door, where his team looked up and then stood, saluting.

"Colonel Elric, sir!" Elysia said, giving Chris a glance before she turned her attention back to Edward.

"What's going on?"

"We have just received news from Briggs that Drachma has broken through and has started a war with the soldiers there. The Fuhrer is going to be sending more troops and we will be having a full staff meeting in about two hours."

"Why was I not called about this immediately?" Edward growled.

"Nothing was confirmed until just a little bit ago that Drachma had truly broken through." Another subordinate told him. "Since the Briggs fort is so hard to penetrate, we weren't getting clear information from at least four different outposts and telecommunication lines. Some said they were still trying, others said they had gotten through, others said they were digging under the fort and Briggs was waiting. About five minutes ago, all of the lines of communications confirmed that yes, Drachma has broken through and have invaded Amestris."

"Colonel, there you are." Riza said, coming into the room. "We have a meeting for high ranking military personnel and then we will have to go to another meeting for the whole Central army."

Edward nodded and pointed to a desk.

"You get up to speed, Chris, and we'll meet up afterwards."

He saluted and Edward forgot all about his agony.

At least for a little while.

* * *

 **poor chris. all he wants to do is live his little life and everyone still kinda blames him for something he can't control. but now we have some drama (or dra _ch_ ma if we're trying really hard to be punny) that will add fuel to the fire and i mean that in both literal and figurative. yay wars!**

 **just an fyi: i have no idea how these things work in both our world or fma world. i'm just flying by sea here**


	25. Chapter 25

**one: i know a lot of peops aren't fond of chris but bear with me on this. i promise you'll like what's coming**

 **two: since mustang is 'no more' that means that chris will act like a teenager... teens know everything, at least they think they do.**

* * *

The meeting was pretty quick to the point and not as drawn out as Edward thought it was going to be. The Fuhrer was adamant about one thing: they would need alchemists again to push back this threat but he wouldn't send them unless they made it past not only Fort Briggs but the Northern Army and the Eastern Army combined. If that happened, he would have to enact another decree to exterminate the Drachman soldiers just like Ishval. There were a lot of shocked people, for many of them had been a part of the Ishvalan War and hoped to never have to go through with it again.

Armstrong cried.

The Fuhrer insisted that it was a last resort but Edward could tell in his tone that last resort to him was somewhat different than what Edward thought. He knew he would have to go out there and he knew that Chris would have to go out there too. He wasn't able to control his alchemy, that was true, but a wildfire does more damage than controlled flame. The Fuhrer wanted to destroy this nation, not scare them, and sending an unskilled flame alchemist out there with the ability to not have consequence to setting things on fire was not a good thing. It could only do two things to the boy: scar him or harden him; and neither was something Edward wanted to think about. _You picked a fine time to leave us high and dry Colonel Dickface!_ Edward yelled in his head. _I'm not even sad that you left, I'm **pissed off**! You left this poor kid to suffer… I know you didn't know what was going to happen, but your timing is impeccable, you bastard._

Alphonse grabbed Edward's leg and he looked at his brother.

"What's wrong?" he whispered.

"Nothing that can be fixed right now." He grumbled.

"Stop with the leg, you're disturbing everyone in the row."

"I'll tell you later."

"Shh!" someone said.

Edward glared at his brother as Alphonse smiled sheepishly.

* * *

After the meeting Alphonse, Riza, and Edward met up at the back of the room in a small huddle of their own.

"A lot of young soldiers are going to wish they never joined the military." Riza said, folding her arms.

"Most of them only did it because of family tradition or they didn't have a trade." Alphonse said.

"I need to tell you guys something… It's about Chris."

The two of them looked at him expectantly as Edward tried to figure out how to tell them. He sighed and put his hands in his pockets.

"I actually got to talk to Mustang a couple of nights ago. As in, the persona of Mustang."

Riza's eyes widened and Alphonse nodded.

"What happened?"

"Well first that jackass tried to blame us for what happened."

Riza smirked. "Sounds like him…"

"But… well… I guess I should let you all know that Elicia knows about Chris being Roy."

"How did she find that out?"

"She went with Chris back to Teacher's house and he had an episode there. She said she was trying to calm her nerves and was looking for a spoon when she came across the letter I had sent Teacher about Chris in one of her drawers where I guess she must have been reading it. Elicia came to me and told me about it."

"What does she have to do with you talking to Roy?" Al asked.

"He wasn't sure if he should fight or not but I couldn't tell him the answer, of course. He said he met up with Elicia and they talked for a while and he made up his mind… He's gone."

Riza's face seemed to lose color as Alphonse gasped.

"Gone? What do you mean?"

"I'm not really even sure… I mean… he just said he had decided and when I woke up, it was clearly Chris and _only_ Chris. I don't know if the Colonel is 'dead' or what… The whole situation was so complicated and for some reason they couldn't coexist… I don't know… All I know is that Chris is Chris and that's all there is to it. I need to let you guys know that because instead of at least having the Colonel in the back of his mind or something, if alchemists get called to the front lines-"

"Chris goes too." Riza answered.

"And the only thing this war will do is harden him or devour him."

"Or it could drive him crazy." Riza said softly. "We know his personality, but sometimes the taste of blood drives a man wild with bloodlust instead of disgust. We have no idea how Chris is under this type of stress, flight or fight."

"How was the Colonel?"

Riza sighed. "He somehow could keep a level head but I know he had nightmares about the screams of people he burned alive; families. The sounds of children screaming because they had been abandoned or left as orphans. Blood all around him and charred bodies in a heap… the Colonel could hardly take it. If not for Maes, I don't think he would have made it."

"Chris is kind of sensitive." Edward commented.

"This isn't good."

* * *

The next meeting had a very different tune to it. Edward could feel the buzz of excitement and nationalism rising with every word the Fuhrer spoke. The young men and women were itching for something to hone their skills, test out their military training. Like Alphonse had said, half of them were only here because of tradition or no trade, so sitting behind a desk for too long made going into the field a welcome distraction from the piling paperwork.

Once that meeting was done, there were a lot of kids talking about how they were going to defend their country best, bets on who killed the most men, bets on how many ranks they would rise…

Such innocence…

Such _idiocy_.

Edward watched all of these kids from his seat, wondering why they thought this was fun. War was hell on earth, if not Hell itself. True, he had never been in a war but he had had his own share of fights and he saw the massacre of Lior, the constant trail of wounded men that had traveled in front of his house back to Eastern Headquarters after the Ishvalan War… maimed men who could never be who they once were… traumatized… Yes, defending Amestris seemed admirable, but at what cost?

"Uncle Ed?" Edward looked up at Chris. "What's wrong?"

"I'm contemplating the way everyone is happy we're going to war."

"I'm kind of excited." He said with a small smile.

"You won't be when your leg gets blown off from a mine or infected and have to be amputated from a shot to the thigh."

Chris made a face. "You're always such a downer, you and Auntie Riza."

"Colonel Hawkeye was in the Ishvalan War. She literally saw firsthand what went down there. She was a sniper and killed many men."

"Don't listen to that old windbag." A voice said and Chris turned.

He smiled. "Hey, Crimson. I thought you were on suspension?"

"War calls for desperate measures. I'm an alchemist so I have to show off my skills." Crimson looked at Edward and gave him a sardonic smile. "Colonel Elric, my cousin was in the Ishvalan War and he said that it wasn't as bad as people make it out to be."

"He must have been psychotic." Riza said.

Crimson smirked. "They say he was a bit off the old rocker. They say I get my good looks from him."

"Some looks…" Chris teased and snickered.

"Anyway, I'm looking forward to it. Get some target practice at least… I have to go meet up with Father of Mine so I'll see you later."

He walked off and Chris looked at Edward, who was watching him leave.

"You don't like him, do you?" he asked.

"There's something not right about him. I don't know what, but he seems to get you into trouble."

"I'm in trouble?"

"You will be if you hang around him too much. I know he's your friend but he's not the best of kids. He is too reckless with his alchemy."

"Maybe you're too stuffy." Edward looked at Chris as he lifted an eyebrow at him. "What? You _are_ … I've never really seen you do any alchemy even though I hear you're this amazing alchemist. I mean, you have the coolest name! Fullmetal Alchemist…" he said with a pose. "That's a really awesome name and yet you don't do anything."

"I did what I was younger. I had my time to shine."

"Then why didn't you?"

Edward set his jaw. "I had things to fix that my own stupidity got me into. I was cocky, like you and like Crimson, except _I_ got myself into a bind that took me years to get out of. I'm surprised I was even able to do it, but I did. After something like that, you realize that the prize isn't always worth the pain and I just want you to realize that as well. I'm trying to keep you from the pain."

"Well how am I supposed to use my alchemy if I don't get to practice on it? I tried to practice but I burnt someone and now I can't even do it in war?"

"I'm not arguing with you, Chris." Edward said, starting to walk off.

Chris ran after him and blocked him from leaving.

"That's not fair! I can help out and use my alchemy to keep the Drachmans from invading and yet you want to keep me safe and sound while everyone else fights?"

"I never said that. You're not listening. I never said you couldn't use your alchemy, or practice, or even go to war with it. All I said was that Crimson is not the best influence in regards to self-control."

"But he's the only one with an alchemy similar to mine! Who's supposed to teach me?!"

"I don't _know_ , Chris. Truly… I just don't want you to end up a berserker with no remorse."

"And you think Crimson is like that?"

"I think Crimson is headed in that direction. He has no sanctity of life and only cares about what he can do and how big it can be. That's no way to treat something like alchemy… especially one as unpredictable as yours."

Chris glared at him. "You're wrong, Uncle Ed."

Edward sighed. "Of course."

He walked away, unsure what to do now.

* * *

"He's a child." Riza said.

"He's acting like a spoiled brat. I know that Teacher would have never brought him up like that." Edward growled, pacing Riza's office. "I mean, he was such a little… I don't know!"

"A teenager?" she said with a small smile.

"I was never like that."

For the first time in a while and the first time for Edward at all, Riza burst into laughter that reached her eyes. It had been a long time since Edward had seen some fire in her eyes and he was happy to see she was doing alright despite the news of Mustang's disappearance.

"I think you need to check with every person in this office and your wife on that notion, Edward. You were about as belligerent as they came and when you and the Colonel had differences? It was like trying to calm down a pair of rabid raccoons! The problem is that now it's backwards: you are his commanding officer, you give the orders now, and he's your subordinate. The roles reversed but it looks like the attitude is the same."

Edward crossed his arms in defiance.

"Well, it doesn't matter. The issue is still the same."

"True, and I wish I knew how to help you, but Roy learned from my father and he died before Roy went into the war. My father regretted ever teaching him flame alchemy because Roy broke his promise to never use it for war."

"What would he say about this? The Colonel?"

Riza leaned back and thought for a moment. She hadn't had to think for her superior for years.

"He would do what he was told but he would try to find a way to not use his alchemy to kill unless he absolutely had to. I believe that that's what he would have done… then again, it's been so long that I don't really remember. I know he wouldn't _want_ to go back into another war but he wouldn't leave the military. He had a lot of things to do… but he wouldn't sacrifice his humanity again."

"Yeah, I think so too… I don't want to be a part of this. I mean, I know I kind of set myself up for it by being in the military but I never wanted to use my alchemy to destroy people."

"Then don't." Edward looked at her as she smiled softly and leaned on the desk. "You and Alphonse have a unique alchemy that allows you to only think of what you want and be able to create it. If you don't want to kill people with it, then you don't have to and you have control over that aspect. Instead of annihilating the Drachmans, you can entrap them in the ground or build huge walls to keep them out. There are ways you can defend Amestris without killing."

"And you?"

Riza shrugged. "I'm a sniper. Always have been, always will be. I used my gift of accuracy to take up my superior's back and I will still do that. Even if he's a snot-nosed little brat at the moment."

Edward smiled and just hoped that things wouldn't go past the three armies. He knew it was a very, very, very long long-shot but he had to hope in something.

He _knew_ that Chris couldn't handle this war.

* * *

 **come on, ed you couldn't have forgotten how headstrong you were... and still are. ah the pot and the kettle...**

 **and just to clarify: i am not trying to say that people who join the military are unaware of what will happen and stuff. i'm basing the energy off of the way i've seen the young boys portrayed before the starts of both world wars in movies/documentaries about it. the propaganda was high with those wars and these kids only thought about defending their countries and learning how to fight and etc. they were kids who just wanted to help and didn't think about what could come. but then again NO ONE knew what was coming out of those two wars. either way, FMA is slightly paralleled to around the same time period and i've always thought of the Ishvalan War is something comparable to WWI. so this war that I'm doing, would be comparable to WWII.**

 **so yeah...**


	26. Chapter 26

**once again, im not overly familiar with military procedures so... and once again, this is no disrespect to anything. but no one wants to die and no one wants their children to die. no matter what fight it is, no one wants to die so... yeah...**

* * *

Everything was in organized chaos. Everyone was in one type of training or another, whether in the shooting range, alchemy training, laying down wire, all of headquarters was out of their offices and out and about. Edward worried the most about Chris because unfortunately, he was right and the only one with anything close to his alchemy was Crimson. And Crimson wasn't the best of influences. He knew he couldn't keep Chris from him at all times but he just wished he knew someone better to teach him than Crimson.

* * *

"Ed."

"Hmm?" he asked, looking at Winry.

"You've been drying that plate for ten minutes now. What's wrong?"

"I've got a lot on my mind. Leaving you, going to war… I've been in the military for most of my life and I've never had to go out and purposely shoot or kill people. It's overwhelming."

Winry touched his arm and smiled. "You'll be fine. Just use your alchemy to keep them at bay and then you'll be home soon."

Edward smiled a little and touched the slightly more prominent baby bump Winry had.

"I just don't want to be like my father and abandon my kid before I even get to see it."

"You'll be back. And don't worry about losing any limbs. You just so happen to know the best automail mechanic around." She said with a wink.

He rolled his eyes behind his glasses. "I'm pretty sure I would like to keep what real limbs I have. Honestly, I don't know if my alchemy would work if I had two metal hands… you just want to build something."

The phone rang and Edward put the plate down to answer it.

"Elric residence, Edward speaking."

"Hey, Edward, it's me."

"Teacher? What's got you calling?"

"Is Chris home?"

"Uh… I think so. You want to talk to him?"

"If you please."

"Winry, could you call Chris to get the phone?"

As she called Chris, Edward told Izumi what had happened with Mustang. Izumi sighed into the receiver.

"Well, that's not exactly what I had in mind…"

"Me either but it happened."

"I'm here." Chris said and Edward said goodbye, handing the phone to Chris. "Hey, Ma."

"Hey, sweetheart. I haven't heard from you in a while. I have heard rumors of another war starting…"

"Yeah! It looks like Drachma broke through the Briggs defenses and is pouring into Amestris! I'm going to be out there, a State Alchemist defending the country!" he said enthusiastically.

Edward, who had gone back to finish cleaning the kitchen, only frowned.

"Oh, I see… so you _are_ going to war."

"Well of course, Mother. The news is all about it."

"I meant you as _you_ , Chris."

"Oh… well, yeah. I'm an alchemist and they need alchemists to drive back the threat."

"But do they need you?"

Chris frowned. "You just don't want me to go to war."

"Well of course I don't. I'm your mother and I don't want them coming to my door with a folded up flag and a letter telling me about your posthumous promotion."

Chris snorted. "Come on, Mom, you're being dramatic. I'm not going to die."

"Do not _ever_ think you are invincible, Chris Curtis." Izumi growled, making Chris jump at her sudden change in mood. "This is war and casualties of all kinds happen within in such a state of affairs. You cannot believe you are invincible, that you will be unharmed by this. If you believe that, then you are a fool and I have taught you nothing."

"Then what did you call for?" he growled.

"I was hoping you'd use your head and not go but I can see that you believe you are invincible because you happen to know a little bit of alchemy."

" _Flame_ alchemy."

"And you aren't the only one who has had it before, mister. Don't get your head so far up your own ass that you can't realize that even with Mustang's ability to wield flame alchemy, he's gone."

For some reason, that statement made Chris very uncomfortable. But he was getting tired of everyone telling him he didn't belong out there fighting. He was in the military to fight, dammit, so why was everyone trying to get him not to?

"Roy Mustang is gone because of something after the war in Ishval. I'm not like him. I'm going to show you all that I'm not just some kid with powers or something. I know I can help the war and I know I can help defend this country! Why doesn't anyone think I'm capable of doing that?"

"Because you are a _boy_ and war is not made for little boys. It's not even made for grown men! Just because you happen to-"

Izumi went into a series of coughs and Chris held onto the receiver tightly, hoping she was alright. When it seemed she had finished her coughing, Chris tried to talk with his mouth dry.

"Are- are you alright?" he whispered.

"I'm fine! I'm worrying about your dumb ass, but I'm fine." She snapped. Chris smiled. "Chris, I'm just worried about you, that's all. Death doesn't just kill bodies, it kills minds. You were already having issues before and… I just don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me, Mom. I've got Uncle Ed, Uncle Al, and Aunie Riza with me. I know they'll protect me and now I can help protect them. Believe in me, Mom… Please?"

"I've always believed in you, kid. Just don't go and die on me, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"Put Ed back on the phone."

Chris nodded even though she couldn't see him and told Edward to get back on the line. Edward took the phone from him.

"Teacher?"

"Do not let my son go out there."

"I wish I had that ability-"

"You're his superior!"

" _Everyone_ is preparing for war, Teacher! Clerks are learning to shoot guns at people instead of just being able to shoot it on emergency, janitors are learning how to lay down trench wire with simulations of actual explosions, even the gardeners are being required to learn how to shoot a pistol at least and learn simple combat training just to keep up a tiny line of defense in case the Drachmans get past and come to Central. If I had the ability to save him and some of my other subordinates from the war, I would do it in a heartbeat. Hell, I'd take me and Winry and go south. But we can't. We are military dogs, taking orders from our masters. The Fuhrer wants any and all alchemists to go through training and that's what going to happen. All I can promise is I can try to keep him safe."

"This is why I told you not to go into the military."

"Well how else was I supposed to get Al's body back? I wasn't going to leave him in that body forever. If not for the military and my ability to go wherever I needed to go, given missions and tips on certain things, I would have never been able to get my little brother back to normal."

"Then you should have gotten out after that."

"That is not how this works. Look, I'm doing the best I can. I have my hands tied here."

Izumi sighed. "Just don't let me see an officer coming up my street with an Amestrian flag, a dumb hat, and a stupid letter talking about how brave my little boy was and what he did for his country. I want to see my son coming home to me."

"And you can bet your ass I'll make sure it happens."

* * *

A few more weeks passed and reports from Eastern Headquarters were looking more and more like they were going to need help. Edward really didn't that was surprising. The Fuhrer wanted a war and he wanted to use his alchemists… and dagnabbit he was going to get it! As he expected, he found the draft paper in his door when he went to his office. He sighed and pulled it out, shoving it into his pocket. He'd read it later…

"Brother!"

Edward turned as Alphonse ran up.

"Did you get drafted too?"

"Of course I did. That's a stupid question."

"Sorry… it's just some people actually didn't. I think mostly people who don't do much military mission work."

"I'm sure. Hawkeye too?"

"Yeah… What about your crew? Did you read who else was going?"

"No."

"Well you need to let them know soon… I'm not happy about it, Ed."

"Neither am I."

"I'll be by your side the whole way, alright?"

"You scared?"

"No! I mean… I just don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either. I just got you back, I can't let you _literally_ die on me."

Alphonse smiled as he walked away. Edward opened his office and some of his staff stared at him. They must have all seen the note get slipped into the slot of the door. He didn't say anything and walked to his office. He closed the door and sighed, using the letter opener to read the summons.

"Did I get in?"

Edward jumped and looked up at Chris, who was leaning over his desk with an excited look. Edward made a face at him.

"I don't know."

"You're _procrastinating_!" Chris yelled, almost going into a temper tantrum. "Stop being such a dork and tell me what it says!"

Edward sighed and adjusted his glasses to look at the paper. As he suspected, he and Chris were on there. Ironically, Elysia was as well. He turned his head a little at that.

"It looks like you're here." He said.

Chris yelped in happiness, jumping up in the air and fish pumping.

"Alright! I get to go burn some Drachman ass! Yeh-yah!" he yelled, doing all sorts of strange victory dances.

Edward watched him calmly, waiting for him to calm down. He finally did and fell into the seat in front of the desk.

"Oh my god, I'm _so_ happy!" he exhaled with a laugh.

"I wish I could keep you from going, but I can't. So… I had a feeling that you would be selected. Here." He said, opening his drawer and pulling out a square box. "You'll need these."

Chris grinned and leaned forward.

"What'd you get me? A shit ton of papers so I can do my flames right? That's the only thing that really sucks, ya know? I have the power to make _fire_ and yet I have to use paper or sand or something to get it." He opened the box and stopped, his smile slowly fading. "Wh… what are these?" he whispered softly.

"Ignition gloves."

"Ignition gloves?"

"They do exactly what you were complaining about, it keeps you from having to do a transmutation circle all the time. They are made of a special fabric that creates just enough of a spark that you can make fire. Colonel Mustang had some just like this."

"Yeah I've… I've seen them on Auntie Riza's wall…" He slowly stroked the gloves and then he grinned, pulling them on. "These are great, Uncle Ed!"

He nodded as Chris stood up and stood out a little. He held out his hand.

"Hey, how do I look?" he asked, and poised his fingers to snap as he struck a pose.

Edward had to do a double take because it was as if Roy was standing right there. He knew his superior was now long gone but his body was here, although with a different mind.

"Like you're ready to do battle."

Chris smiled and then took the gloves off.

"I won't use them until I get to the battlefield. Was there anything else?"

"I think that's plenty, don't you think?"

"I never know… Thank you, really, Uncle Ed. I really appreciate you getting these for me."

"It's the least I could do." He said, trying not to make his smile as forced as he felt it was.

Chris took his gift and left the room. Edward took off his glasses and grabbed the bottle of pills in his bottom drawer. Those weren't just look a likes, they _were_ Roy Mustang's ignition gloves. Edward had found them while looking through some old junk that they had shoved into the closet of his office. They were good as new and although he knew it would regulate things, it still didn't ease his heart.

* * *

"How has your training been going?"

"I think he's where you need him to be. When will I be able to go back to doing what I was doing?"

"Soon. In the mean time, keep feeding him these thoughts, alright Crimson?"

"Of course. Anything to cause a riot… and when I get back, I'm going to cause more than just a riot."

"You just focus on your job and you'll come out on top in the end."

"I'll endure it, I guess."

"There's a good boy." A black gloved hand patted him on the head. "You're doing so well until now. Don't' think about what you'll get in return, just think about what we told you to do. You'll get distracted if you don't."

"You're quite boring at times, you know?"

The woman smirked in the shadows of the room as she walked away from Crimson, her boots the only other echo besides their breathing.

* * *

 **oh my, what is crimson up to and who was he talking to? sneaky little buggar...**

 **and it looks like it's official chris. you've got the gloves... you're real alchemist now! unless it rains but i'm sure edward omitted that info on purpose and prays it rains the whole battle haha. oh well...**


	27. Chapter 27

**there is a tiny easter egg in here. see if you can find it**

* * *

Soon, what half of Central command dreaded and the other half excitedly awaited, the news came directly from the Fuhrer that they would be pushing forward and helping out the Eastern Headquarters deal with the invasion of Amestris. A call to arms was sounded and military personnel loaded onto train after train.

* * *

"Don't die out there, idiot. How will I raise a baby by myself?" Winry asked, crying.

Edward touched her small stomach tenderly and then touched her face with even more tenderness.

"I won't leave you to deal with it alone."

"You better not." She said with a shaky smile.

Edward kissed her forehead and then her lips.

Alphonse rolled his eyes at his brother and gave his sister-in-law a halfhearted wave.

"Bye, Winry-"

"Oh no you don't!" she growled, grabbing his coat firmly. "Don't you dare think you're going to get out of this."

Chris and Elysia watched nearby and Chris chuckled.

"He's so weird sometimes… You ready for this?" he asked, looking at his friend.

Elysia was too busy looking intently into her purse and was startled by his comment.

"Huh? What?"

"I said are you ready?"

"No… but I don't have to go out on the front lines. They put me on switchboard in the communications unit."

"Laaaame."

Elysia frowned. "In all honesty, I'd rather be away from the fight as much as possible. I don't like killing people."

"Well I don't like killing people either. I just want to destroy the threat that threatens my home."

Elysia frowned more. "You lived in Dublith."

"It's still part of Amestris…"

"Chris, come say goodbye to Winry." Edward said.

Chris scoffed but walked over to his aunt and she grabbed him, holding him close.

"You're so sweet! I hope my child is just like you!"

"You know what, never mind, Chris. You go back over there by Elysia." Edward growled, taking Winry's arms from around him.

Chris laughed a little and got on the train. He gave the ticket master his ticket and went to sit by Elysia.

"Hey, where's your mom? I thought for sure she'd be out here."

"I said all of my goodbyes this morning before I left. She didn't want to be here and see things like… that." She said, pointing out the window to Edward and Winry. "It just reminds her of Dad."

"Oh, right."

Chris watched Edward pull away from his wife as Alphonse finally walked away and onto the train. Edward waved one last time to Winry and got on the train himself. The two of them fell into the seats in front of Elysia and Chris and leaned on each other.

"Gee whizz." Alphonse said. "I've never seen her like that. If that's how she is when the baby isn't even that big, I hate to see her when it's got her emotions _all_ riled up."

"You don't see her at home then." Edward grumbled, sitting up in the seat. "Did you call your mother, Chris?"

"No, I thought I'd call her when we got to post. I think it would be easier and less likely to miss any trains there than if I had called her here. Calling her last night would have resulted in no sleep and calling her this morning would have resulted in missing the train."

"I'm sure that would have been the point."

"Exactly. You already don't want me to go, so why would I give Mom an opportunity to do it?" he said with a huff, crossing his arms and slouching in the seat.

Edward made a face at him as Elysia seemed awfully quiet.

"What about you, Elysia? I didn't see Mrs. Gracia there."

"I said my goodbyes last night and this morning. She didn't want to have to see all the wives leaving their husbands and stuff."

"I see… Well, let's hope we all come back with all our lives… if not at least all our limbs."

"Brother, your toast is horrible."

He shrugged, wishing he didn't have to go and fight anyone.

* * *

They finally reached the post and Elysia went her way to communications while Chris went to the payphone at the station to call Izumi. He waited for the operator to pass the phone off while he jumped on his toes. The North was _cold_!

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Chris. Is Mom around?"

"She's sleeping. She's been having problems."

Chris frowned. "Is she going to be okay?"

"Yes. Can you leave her a message?"

"Tell her that I'm in the North but I got here safe. I'm helping defend Amestris from the Drachmans."

There was silence on the phone and Chris thought the connection broke.

"Hello?"

"You're going to war?"

"Yeah, Dad, don't you read the paper?"

"I stopped doing that. Too much bad news. What will you be doing over there?"

"Hehe, I'm a State Alchemist now. Official with a silver watch and everything. When the war started anyone who was training in the alchemy division was automatically graduated and became a State Alchemist."

"So they are letting a bunch of children who have no control over their own mystical abilities to go out there and fight like men?"

"We're not 'a bunch of children with no control over our own mystical abilities', we're alchemists going to defend our country from this invading army."

"You have no control over your alchemy and you know it, Chris." Sig growled into the phone. "They are taking the element of 'young and reckless' a little too far. All they want is for you kids to get acclimated to going haywire on the battlefield."

"Well that might be all that's needed. A little unbridled alchemy never hurt."

Sig breathed deep into the phone. "Where's Edward?"

"Right here."

"Let me speak to him."

Chris called Edward over and he took the phones from him.

"Hello?"

"What's going on, Edward?"

"I know that knowing he's going to war isn't the best of news but I didn't want this either. I tried to get him not to go but the war has gotten worse now and so everyone was called to arms. Military personnel, receptionists, soldiers, alchemists, whatever. He told me on the train ride here and everyone who was in the alchemy division immediately graduated and were promoted to State Alchemists."

"They are only using them as cannon fodder for the front lines. Half of those kids need circles to fight and they can't lay them down fast enough. They aren't you or Alphonse."

"I _know_ that, Sig. Don't you think I know that? I'm not happy about it either, but I'm not the Fuhrer. The only thing I can do is try to protect him as best as I can."

"It seems that that is all we can ask of you."

"How's Teacher?"

"Not well. I'm glad I answered the phone because this would have probably done her in."

"Yeah… Look, I'll do what I can but you should at least say goodbye to your son."

"Goodbye."

Edward smiled. "I meant Chris, dumb ape."

"That too."

Edward handed Chris back the phone where he said goodbye quickly and then hung up the phone.

"Happy?" he said.

"Yes, I am."

"Hey, Chris!"

They turned around to see Crimson walking towards them.

"The alchemist registry is over here." He looked at Edward and Alphonse. "I guess that means you too."

"Are we bunking together?" Chris asked.

"I hope so."

 _I hope **not**._ Edward thought as he rolled his eyes.

"By the way, you never told us what name they gave you?" Alphonse said, looking at Chris and Crimson.

"Crimson got a cool name. Something about a flower?"

"Red Lotus Alchemist."

"At least it's not a fictional animal." Edward said with a look to his brother.

Alphonse growled at him. "Shut. Up." He turned to Chris. "So, what's yours?"

"Meh, it's stupid. I got Blazing Fire Alchemist…"

"It's not that bad."

"I would have rather just gotten Fire Alchemist. The other one sounds like a girl…"

"Still better than Alphonse's."

"Will you please drop my alchemy name?"

"But it's so funny."

They got to the registry and the soldier looked up. Upon seeing Edward and Alphonse, he stood up and saluted seriously.

"Welcome to the Northern Post, State Alchemists, sirs!"

"Uh, you can calm down." Edward said with a gesture to sit.

The soldier sat down and smiled at them.

"I know who you are, Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric." He said, marking his name off the list. "And you are Gunmetal Unicorn Alchemist, Alphonse Elric."

Edward giggled and Alphonse elbowed him. The soldier looked at Chris and Crimson.

"I'm Crimson Hamilton, Red Lotus Alchemist."

The man checked the registry and checked him off.

"I'm Chris Curtis, Blazing Fire Alchemist."

The man looked down the list and then flipped the page. He frowned and looked back up.

"I'm sorry but I don't see you."

"Huh? I should be on there."

"Do you go by a different alchemy name?"

"No…"

"I'll check again."

The man skimmed the list again and then flipped the page. He flipped the page again and nodded, pointing.

"Aha, here you are. Dunno why they put you last, kid. And they misprinted your alchemy name."

"How do you misprint Blazing Fire?"

"They put 'flame' instead." Edward stiffened as the soldier laughed a little. "That's really odd. The Flame Alchemist was Colonel Roy Mustang, the Hero of Ishval. Say, you actually kind of look like him."

Chris smiled a little. "So I've been told."

"He used to be Colonel Elric's superior. Sorry about his untimely disappearance."

"Yeah." Edward said, pushing the boys along. "You two go find out where you will be bunking."

The four parted ways and headed to their respective places.

* * *

As the war went on, when the soldier got tired or when too many casualties happened for the day, the Fuhrer would call the soldiers back and then send in the alchemists. Each day sparks of alchemy would light up the battlefield, making things unsavory for the Drachmans. Each of the alchemists had a turn to take out as many as possible for an hour and then they would switch. Edward and Alphonse were held back because they were the 'secret weapons' since their alchemy could be used at such far ranges.

Each day, Edward watched as Chris would come back pumped even more with energy in the power given him through unbridled alchemy. He enjoyed killing the Drachmans.

He enjoyed watching them _burn_.

* * *

"And then, this one guy was trying to sneak up on Crimson, but I saw him first and I snapped my fingers like this and a streak of flames came rushing out of my fingertips. The stream hit the guy and he burst into flames. He was flailing all over the place and was like 'ah, no, it burns! Oh it burns so hot!' and I'm like 'yeah, take that you Drachman piece of shit'! Man, it was just so cool!"

Elysia watched him as he leaned back on the table with a sigh.

"Man… you should be there at the front, Elysia. It's so… exhilarating."

"I think I get enough action through you." She said softly.

"Nah, you can't feel the heat of the flame or watch a man die from back in communications."

"I don't _want_ to watch a man die. That's just cruel and heartless."

"Not to our enemies. I mean, they want to see that from us too. Think about the way they shoot our men and then we have to bring them back here with horrible wounds."

"Do you not think about how they have to bring back piles of burnt bodies?"

"Pretty sure they just leave them out there and then do a headcount." He said nonchalantly.

Elysia clenched her fists and stood up. Chris watched her as she went to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere where I don't have to hear about you butchering people and being happy about their demise!"

Chris watched her leave and made a face. He was really confused. When Crimson talked about it, they got a great laugh out of it. He got up to go and find Elysia when he saw her crying in her room. He went to knock on the door.

"Why did you have to leave, Roy?" He stopped. "When you asked me all those questions, I thought you were going to come back. You had your body back and you had every right to take it but… you let Chris have it?" She chuckled thickly. "I guess my mother was right about how selfless you really were. You're everything she said you would be… Even though I love Chris and he's my friend, he's not you. I really wish that you could have come back to us. Taking Chris' body wouldn't have been that heartbreaking and he wouldn't be the way he is…"

Chris swallowed thickly. He vaguely remembered what happened, the mental takeover, the pains he'd get in his head. He remembered seeing him in the mirror of his room, the man asking for his body back. Colonel Roy Mustang…

"I took this for some reason." Chris looked back up and moved a little to see what Elysia had. "I thought that it would prove a purpose or something. I think this will bring you back but I don't know if you even exist in that body anymore…" Elysia wiped her tears and put the syringe back into her purse. "I will have to just deal with Chris for now and his horrible war stories. I know that you hated war and fighting but… we don't need the Blazing Fire Alchemist, we need _you_."

Chris couldn't move, feeling his stomach practically leave his body. He had remembered Roy telling him this body wasn't his and that he was a creation that should have never been made. He had forgotten because it never came up again. _So no one wants me around?_ he thought. He decided to just see what everyone thought.

* * *

"Chris?" Riza said, letting him into her tent. "What are you doing here?"

"When the Colonel used these, did he enjoy it?" he asked, holding the gloved up.

Riza blinked a little and sat down. "No… not in battle. He seemed to think at first that he was only doing what was told, not because he wanted to. But in time, he realized the power of those gloves and the carnage they had brought to a civilization. He had killed hundreds, thousands of Ishvalans and he told me once that he remembered every scream. As a sniper, I understand the same feelings sometimes. I see my victims close up, see their faces, find their little tics… In the long run, no, the Colonel didn't enjoy using those."

"So… if he were here, what _would_ he do?"

"I never said he wouldn't follow orders, but he wouldn't enjoy doing it and he would do it his own way to keep his conscience clear."

"I see. Tell the truth, Auntie Riza: would things be better with the Flame Alchemist instead of me?"

Riza smiled softly. "You're a kid, Chris, with lack of experience and overabundance of drive. The Colonel was a seasoned man, training for battle on and off the battlefield."

"Thanks…"

Riza nodded, although she didn't know what he had been getting at.

* * *

Chris tapped on the flap and Alphonse answered it.

"Chris?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure… Do I need to get brother?"

"Yeah."

Alphonse woke Edward up and he sat up as Chris weighed the information he needed.

"What is it?" Edward asked.

"Am I… am I _just_ like Roy? I hear things like I look like him or I'm just like him… but am I really?"

"What's got this going?"

"Please answer, Uncle Ed."

"Um, no… you're a completely different person than Roy. He was a jackass who seemed to get all he wanted but he did save me multiple times. He was selfish and selfless all at the same time. He was stubborn and stupid and despicable all the time but… he was a good man."

"Did he seem to enjoy his alchemy?"

"Yeah, he enjoyed it to a degree. What's this all about?"

"What does it matter? Just answer me this: would everything be better if he were still here?"

Edward narrowed his eyes at the boy. "What are you trying to get at?"

"Just _answer me_ , Uncle Ed!"

"I don't know, Chris. I wasn't at Ishval so I have no idea how he was and if he helped end the war. The only thing I know is that you're not the same as you were. Alchemy is supposed to help people and all you've done is destroy people's lives. You have no disregard for your actions and you revel in people's pain. It's not a good look for you."

"Strength?" he snarled.

"Evil."

Chris was taken aback by that. He looked away and Edward made a face at him.

"What's going on, Chris?"

Chris turned away and left.

* * *

He had one more person to confirm… just one…

"Elysia?"

"Chris? What's wrong?"

"I need your opinion on something."

"Okay…"

"If something happened and I became two people and one of those people acted a lot like Roy, who would you choose?"

Elysia's eyes widened and he stared at her.

"You know."

"Answer my question then: would you choose me or would you choose Roy? Who do you want in your life?"

"That's not a fair question-"

Some voice shouted an what sounded like arrows came whizzing down from the sky. Chris grabbed Elysia and shielded her. Some of the arrows ripped through the tent but none hit them.

"It's an ambush! We've been ambushed!" someone yelled.

Chris grabbed Elysia's arms and shook her.

"ELYSIA! What do you want? If you had to choose, would you want me to protect you or Roy Mustang?!"

"Roy!"

Chris let her go quickly and she breathed heavily, tears streaming down her face. She tried to wipe them away.

"I'd always choose Roy, Chris. Because he's stronger and wiser and I trust him. You've become some sort of sick twisted monster. You enjoy the screams of torture, the smell of burnt flesh and… and you're just evil."

"Then what can I do to make it right." He said softly.

"That's up to you."

Chris set his jaw and walked over to Elysia's purse. He grabbed it and opened it up, finding the vial and syringe there with the letter. He glanced over the letter and was saddened to know that his own mother knew… although happy that she didn't want him to die.

"What are you going to do?" Elysia asked.

Chris didn't say anything, just left the tent. She ran after him and slammed into the back of him.

"Chris!"

"What?"

"Where are you going?"

"To war."

"Why can't you get it through your head that we don't need more conflict!? Chris, what are you going to do?!"

He stopped walking and looked behind his shoulder.

"End it."

Elysia didn't know what that meant as she let him go.

* * *

 **good question: what does that mean?**


	28. Chapter 28

**i'm gonna apologize for the ending in advance just in case it's not as climatic as i was trying to make it...**

 **another easter egg in here as well...**

* * *

Edward and Alphonse were using their alchemy to shield soldiers as defense as well as using it for offense. The attack came out of nowhere and no one had expected it. The worst part was that they used some old school techniques regarding the flurry of arrows instead of a rain of bullets over the encampment. The change in tactic was a definite wakeup call to everyone in the camp.

"Brother, watch out!" Alphonse yelled.

Edward moved as a Drachman tried to shank him with a musket. Edward punched the man in the gut and then the face, knocking him out. Suddenly a cluster of screams let out and a large bang followed it. Edward coughed as the smoke cleared and saw Crimson laughing as transmutation sparks flickered between his hands. It was an odd way of transmuting… he had seen it before.

"Where's Chris?" he asked, suddenly aware that Chris wasn't there.

"Does that matter?" Alphonse asked.

"Of course it does!"

"I mean if he's not with Crimson then its better he not be here at all."

"Usually I would agree with you but with this ambush…"

"Colonel Elric! Colonel Elric!"

Edward turned as he saw Elysia running towards him and he ran to her. He got close enough to her and jumped onto her, making them roll and they ended up behind a rock.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" he growled.

"Something weird is going on with Chris."

"What do you mean?"

"He came into my room and asked me about Roy… I think he remembers about Roy being in his head and everything. I… I stole the serum from your drawer and brought it along." Edward's eyes widened. "He took it and I don't know what he's going to do with it!"

"Does he know what it does?"

"Yeah, he glanced over the note."

Edward growled and pushed Elysia.

"Stay low to the ground and make your way back to the bunker. I'll worry about Chris."

She nodded and did as Edward told her to do. With that information, Edward was even more worried about Chris now. There was another blast and Alphonse fell to the ground beside the rock that Edward was at, the breath knocked out of him. Edward went over and helped him come behind the rock.

"We can't push pack much longer, Brother. We're _going_ to have to use our alchemy to kill some of these men… I hate to say it, but we will have to act like the dogs of the military now." Alphonse said, looking at his hands in shame.

"There's always a way…" Edward mumbled, knowing full well that his brother was right.

"Not this time… They're advancing on us too quickly and coming from too many sides. We can't protect the whole division with walls and slaps on the hand." An explosion went off and maniacal laughter echoed. Alphonse breathed in deeply. "We need to use some of the extreme alchemists… Besides you and me, the only other two I know of that can really do some damage are-"

"Crimson and Chris… Yeah… I had a feeling this would happen."

Alphonse touched his brother's shoulder. "We're here to guide Chris. We won't let Crimson-"

"No… I meant that we would have to use our alchemy to kill someone instead of saving them. We should have gotten out of the military as soon as I got your body back. There was no reason to stay."

"That's not true and you know it. We had only one reason to stay: Chris Curtis. That was all the reason we needed to stay. There were so many things that we were granted with the military that would help Chris that we would have never been able to get to if we were civilians. Chris was our reason then and that's our reason now."

Edward looked at his brother and smiled, happy to have gotten a brother like Alphonse. Alphonse looked at his hands again and clenched them.

"We need to do all we can to not kill the Drachmans. We need a strategy… We'll switch off with defense and offense. You use whatever means necessary as well as me. If things get too tough and we can't protect ourselves without killing, then that's what these are for." He said, patting his hip where the pistol was. "It's all we can do."

Edward breathed in a little and nodded. He knew there was nothing else to be done. The two of them nodded in agreement and then jumped out from behind the rock. They went towards the foray, ready for anything.

* * *

Elysia somehow made it back to the communications booth intact but was met with a horrible scene. The whole booth was charred and everyone in it was dead. She was slightly glad she left but was sorry about the comrades who died. She hoped that Chris wasn't responsible for this…

"Elysia?"

She turned, finding Chris climbing through the open hole where a window used to be. She stepped back a little.

"Did you do this?" she hissed.

Chris made a face at her. "What? No, of course not…"

"Then why are you the only one here? Besides Crimson, you're the only one I know who could do something like this."

Chris was hurt at her accusation. "Elysia, why would I kill my own men?"

"I don't know! You were so joyful about killing Drachmans, I figured you'd delight in killing others so blissfully too!"

"You seem to have gotten the wrong idea about me. I'm sorry if I upset you about what I had done to the Drachmans, but they are invading our home. They deserve what they get… This booth was filled with people on my side. There's no reason for me to kill them."

"Then why are you _here_?!"

Chris looked at her with the saddest look she thought she ever saw.

"I came back for _you_."

"Me? Why?"

"Well I didn't know where you went. I thought you came back here to your station and then I saw that it was charred up. I thought… if you were dead then… then I would find you and take you home. But you're okay so… that's good."

"How would you have identified me with all the other bodies?"

"Does it matter? I came back here because I thought you fucking died. I know I'm not Roy but don't you think you could have a little bit of gratitude in my efforts here?" he snarled.

"Right… I'm sorry. Thank you…" she said awkwardly.

"Get out of here, Elysia. You don't belong in war."

He was about to leave again when she ran to him, hugging him from the back again.

"Wait… you said you were going to end things; what did you mean?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It _does_ matter."

"Why?" He turned out of her arms and glared at her. "Why does it matter when _I_ don't matter? I get it, I've been kind of a psycho lately, but I've never fought people before and especially not with my alchemy. I thought people were supposed to feel the thrill of the kill. Apparently, that's wrong and now that I look at it, yeah, it kind of is. Since I've been acting the way I have, I've made everyone hate me to a degree. You're disgusted by me, Uncle Ed despises me, Auntie Riza just doesn't talk to me… So what the hell do I matter? What does it matter what _I_ do because no one cares about _me_ anymore… So, I'll end the war, I'll end the suffering… I'll end _me_."

Elysia reared her leg back and kicked Chris in the knee. He yelled out and went to his other knee in pain.

"Don't you _dare_ kill yourself. If you did that, I would never forgive you."

"Then what do you people want from me? I don't know what everyone wants… I mean, according to the letter I'm not even _real_ … I'm just a byproduct of a failed issue with Colonel Roy Mustang. He was a hero, he was a legend, he is the one that everyone wants… No one wants me."

"That's not true."

"Don't lie, Elysia." He said softly as he stood up. He limped to her and put his hand on her cheek. "It doesn't suit you."

Elysia put her hand on his as he rubbed her cheek softly with his thumb.

"I've always loved you, Elysia Hughes, from the first moment I saw you. Know that… just… know that…"

He then straightened his hand out and hit Elysia's neck with a knifehand strike, rendering her unconscious in his arms. He carried her to a place he felt was safe and turned towards the destruction. He would end it…

* * *

Edward was making pillars come up from the ground as fast as he could make them but the Drachmans were just piling in like ants in a destroyed anthill. He couldn't keep up and before he could get a lot of the pillars up, they were trampled down.

"This isn't working." He snarled to Alphonse.

"I know." He growled, trying his hardest to hold a rock shield up in front of them.

A blast came up nearby and Crimson walked over, char all over him and a grin on his face.

"Aw, you two look like you're in a bind. Want me to help?"

"We don't need your help, Crimson."

"Really? Cuz, I don't see any of our friends dying out there. Are you really soldiers? Or are you just kids playing dress up in those uniforms?"

Alphonse didn't want to but he knew that there was nothing else they could do. He put down the wall and Edward looked over at him.

"Al?"

"We have no choice."

Crimson laughed. "Alright! Come on and join the fray, Major Elric! The rain of blood feels just fine!"

Edward realized too that they would have to kill. He hated it but he got himself into it and got Alphonse into it too. He turned and clapped his hands together, joining Al on the ground. They were about to send a surge into the ground when a wall of flames came over them and burnt all of the men coming down on them. The heat was intense and it was _way_ too precise. Edward looked behind him and as the dust settled, his eyes widened.

* * *

Riza had been placed immediately in a high spot so that she could try and kill off the enemies from a distance without having any trouble. She was getting older but her shot was still the same. She had killed about one hundred men so far, all of them locked in her crosshairs and all of them faces she would dream about when she slept. Men who were husbands, sons, brothers, fathers, friends, and relatives; they would not be going home. Many would think that a sniper could only hit about twenty or thirty men but Riza wasn't nicknamed The Hawks' Eye just because of her last name. She was the best that Amestris had to offer and so a rushing pile of soldiers was like fish in a barrel to her.

She had just shot down another man when suddenly she saw a flash of fire at the side of her scope. She put the rifle down and looked over at where the encampment had been and found it covered in smoke. She hoped Chris wasn't acting out of line again. She put the scope back to her eye to get a better look as the smoke cleared.

* * *

Edward and Alphonse stared at him as he lowered his hand. He looked down and lifted an eyebrow at the two of them.

"I can take it from here."

Edward wanted to burst into tears when there was a shot that whizzed past them and the sound of a man screaming faded into the smoke. He looked over his shoulder and at the tower that seemed a million miles away.

"Hawkeye and I can take the rest of these whelps. I don't think there are many more of them. The Drachmans would never ambush us with all of their soldiers. Go find Elysia and get the rest of the soldiers to safety."

He walked away and Edward and Alphonse were both at a loss.

"H-Hey!" Edward shouted.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

"Is it… is it really you?"

* * *

 _Is it really you?_ Riza thought, hoping it wasn't just the trick of the light or the play of the smoke.

Could it be the man she had been waiting for?

* * *

He turned fully to the two and gave them the smirk that everyone loved and hated at the same time. You could never tell what the meaning of it was for you.

It was bliss.

It was _him_.

"Miss me?" Roy asked.

* * *

 **hehe...**

 **so i figure hawkeye could take out a hundred. she's pretty good and droves of soldiers coming in wouldn't hinder her a bit**

 **and elysia is a little harsh here because he had pretty much said he was psychotic when she was talking with him before and so she thought he had gone more into his own tendencies.**


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey, we have an issue here!"

Dr. Hamilton looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing here? Isn't there a-"

"He's back."

Dr. Hamilton blinked a little and then nodded in understanding.

"I see…"

"He's back, so that means it's time for me to get back too."

Dr. Hamilton leaned back in his chair, watching him.

"I really don't have to do anything. In fact, I could keep you like this as long as I pleased."

He grabbed Dr. Hamilton by the collar of his shirt, strong for someone in his condition.

"That was not part of the deal, Doc. You put me back to normal or I'll kill you. And don't think this is just a threat. I'm not considered crazy for a reason. So what's it going to be?"

Dr. Hamilton sighed and moved his hands from him. He got up and went to a drawer and handed him the small vial and syringe.

"Here."

He grabbed it and left the facility as Dr. Hamilton sat down, kneading his temples.

"You're about as unhelpful as the first doctor. Is there a reason why none of you can just do as you're told?" a voice said in the darkness.

Dr. Hamilton sat up straight and breathed in.

"My conscience is clean. I have no guilt."

"Pity."

* * *

In the midst of the happiness of the Colonel coming back on the scene, there was still a war to be fought. Edward and Alphonse were able to keep their original tasks of defense while Roy used his offensive attacks to incinerate the oncoming Drachmans, Riza's sharpshooting taking care of the rest. There was a loud bang that came from the side and everyone turned to it. The smoke cleared and Roy narrowed his eyes at the figure coming from the cloud of smoke.

"Back in business!" he yelled and breathed in deeply. "Ah, the sweet smell of sweat and blood. God, I miss that smell! That, and the distinct hint of gunpowder and ashes. The best stench anyone could offer."

Roy frowned. "What the hell is he doing here?"

Edward and Alphonse looked over and were surprised to find Kimblee stepping out, looking refreshed and oddly young for how old he should have been. Roy frowned even more.

"Son of a bitch…"

"What is it?" Edward asked, pushing up his glasses.

Kimblee looked over and grinned, walking over to them in bare feet, not caring about the dirt and blood.

"Well if it isn't Colonel Roy Mustang himself. It's been a while."

"No, it hasn't, you sick son of a bitch!" he growled, clenching his hands.

Kimblee only grinned at him and then wagged a finger at him.

"Tut, tut, Colonel. We have a war going on? I suggest you focus your anger on those Drachmans instead of me. Besides, I'm sure we'll catch up." He said with a wicked smile.

Roy wanted to incinerate him right there but Kimblee was right and there was a war going on.

"You can take it from back here in case I miss any of the bastards. I'm going up to the front where I can hear the screams."

He walked away and Roy grimaced behind him as Edward looked at him. He caught him staring and lifted an eyebrow.

"You heard the man. A war is still going on. Keep up the defense and I'll take care of the rest."

Edward nodded along with Alphonse and they moved forward.

* * *

Finally, after everything was done and over with, Amestris pushed back the Drachmans and were able to still secure Briggs. The Drachmans ran back to their land and Amestris could count the victory.

As the dust settled and everyone returned to the encampment, the rest of the Colonel's crew came back and were all surprised to find their superior waiting for them calmly in the information room. Havoc dropped his cigarette and Breda had to put it out. Fuery started crying along with Falman, although a little less dramatically. The last to fall in was Riza. She opened the door and looked at Roy as he watched her from the seat in front of the room facing the door. Edward and Alphonse looked at each other, wondering what was going to happen.

"It's you, right? It's really you?" she asked softly.

"So it would seem."

Uncharacteristically and surprising even herself, she found herself launching across the room towards her superior. Roy stood up and she jumped into his arms. Roy caught her and she hugged him, wrapping her legs around him.

"You're such a stupid man! You're such a stupid, stupid man!" she said over and over as she cried on his shoulder. "It's you… it's really you…"

Roy just smiled as the rest of his men watched with smiles of relief and happiness. Roy set Riza down as she wiped her eyes and sniffled. She cleared her throat and stood rigid, saluting to him.

"Colonel Hawkeye reporting in, sir." She said with a smile.

The rest of his men stood to attention, including Edward and Alphonse and saluted him. Then at the same time said, "Colonel Mustang, sir!" Roy smiled a little and cleared his throat.

"At ease, soldiers." He said softly.

The door opened again but this time it was Elysia. Upon seeing Roy, it looked as if her knees buckled and she had to hold the doorframe.

"No… no…" she said softly.

Roy looked at her as she finally slid to the floor, her face in her hands.

"Where's Chris?" she said, her voice muffled.

Everyone turned to him and he crossed his arms.

"I'm not sure."

"You're not sure?" she said as she looked up with tears in her eyes. "You're here so that means that Chris is _somewhere_! Where is he?!"

Alphonse went over to Elysia to help her up as she cried in his arms.

"I didn't get to say goodbye! Now he's gone and… I never got to say I was sorry…"

Alphonse helped her out as Edward looked at Roy, who looked a little confused himself.

"Colonel?"

"I need a full explanation of what happened to me. I know you gave me a brief one but… this is a serious issue." He looked at his men. "A _serious_ issue. So, please, give me and in depth report on what happened to me, this Chris, and anything else relating to this."

* * *

After hours of information given to him from his men, mostly Riza and Edward, he dismissed the other men and kept his two closest companions with him. With them, he asked about Chris Curtis.

"How do you not remember him? You pulled through him once and I'm pretty sure you spoke to him on a couple of occasions." Edward said, pushing up his glasses.

"I have vague memories of something like that… Why are you wearing glasses?"

Edward made a face. "Really?"

"I just really noticed them. You never wore glasses before…"

"When you got turned into a baby, I got turned into an old man. My eyesight diminished during that time and since I was suffering through smoke inhalation just like you, my eyes got stuck with the issue. Glasses are the least of your concerns, Colonel." Edward growled, leaning back in the seat. "You're missing the issue."

"No, I see the issue. We have a kid who was completely different, a whole other person, who is pretty much in nonexistence anymore. He's… inside of me or something, right?"

Riza crossed her arms and leaned back herself. "We don't know. We were afraid of the consequences of the way things happened, which is why we never gave you the serum to turn you back. By the time the serum was created, Chris Curtis was already a person to us and to Mrs. Curtis. A personality was already in place, making him…"

"I understand… I think… You two really blew this mission."

"This wasn't a mission to us, Colonel Bastard." Edward growled. "You asked a stupid thing of us to do and then it backfired on us in _so_ many ways! Why in the hell did you think it was a good idea to try and become someone else?"

"You were supposed to make me a completely different person! I wasn't supposed to remember anything! It was _your_ greed and selfishness that caused the issue!" he barked, folding his leg on his knee. "I said, make me someone new, _completely_ new. I said let me go… but you couldn't and now look what you've done."

"Stop." Riza said softly. Roy looked at her. "It was my fault. I was given a direct order by you and I couldn't fulfill it. It was my fault that this happened… why Chris is gone… or _dead_."

"You can't kill something that never existed."

Riza looked up at him with a sad expression. "You didn't know him. He existed to _us_. He was just a boy… he was… All he wanted was to be like you."

"But he _was_ me. _Is_ me."

"It's much more complicated than that." Edward said. "That's why things got hairy in the end. In the end the question that hung over everyone's heads was do we kill you or do we kill Chris?"

Roy thought for a moment. "I see… I'd like to be alone now."

Edward and Riza nodded and they began to leave.

"Fullmetal." He turned to him. "I want to have a private word with you."

Riza left as Edward stood in front of Roy. Roy sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes. He finally looked up at Edward.

"What do I do?"

"You're asking me? You never cared about my opinions before."

"Apparently that was a long time ago. You've grown up and I'm pretty sure I can treat you like an adult now… I mean, you've treated me like a kid for all this time…"

"It's different." Roy didn't say anything. "I don't know what you want me to say, Colonel."

"Did I kill this kid? Chris? Did I murder someone who was as innocent as could be?"

Edward hung his head. "I can't answer that, Colonel. By all accounts, Chris was you, just a different you. Another side to a coin. Only _you_ would be able to find out if you've killed him or not… I mean…"

"Right. That'll be all, Fullmetal."

Edward nodded and opened the door. Before he closed it he turned back to him.

"Colonel?" He looked up. "Whatever you find out -even if you _have_ killed Chris- I think it should be you that breaks the news to Teacher."

Roy nodded. "Indeed."

* * *

Everyone went back to Central and Roy didn't mention Chris again. No one did. It nagged him to no end though. Whenever he looked at Elysia, she seemed to avoid him. He remembered talking with her for that long night, asking her what she would want. From what he understood in the blurry thoughts of that night, that maybe not being there would be for the best. But then he remembered one thing she did say, _"What about this also: the brain can't technically forget what's been taken into it unless by illness. So even if I, Elysia, forfeited my persona to allow the other to 'live on' so the speak, then "Elysia's" memories would still be there, just… never brought to the forefront. But if that medicine came out and the other persona found out on their own that they used to be me, would taking the medicine erase them and bring me back? Or would that, in turn, actually meld the two of us together?"_

It was a good question. Roy then remembered that he gave up himself so that Chris could live on. He tried to remember what it was like and how he came back. Roy went to sleep, exhausted.

* * *

 _Roy looked around a realized he was within his own mind. Remembered being there before, unable to wake up, stuck. He heard something that sounded like a chain moving. Looking over, he walked towards the sound and was surprised to find someone chained up to something that may have been a wall._

 _"Who are you?" he asked._

 _The person looked up and began to shake, squeezing themselves against the invisible wall. They moved their hands over their head, trying to hide. Roy walked closer and knelt in front of them._

 _"I'm not going to hurt you." He said softly._

 _The person looked up and Roy realized what was going on._

 _"Chris…"_

 _"Did you come to kill me for good?" he asked._

 _"No, of course not."_

 _"You got your stupid body back. Everyone is probably happier without me. The great Roy Mustang has returned… so what more do you want from me?"_

 _"I needed to know if you were dead… if… what made you was dead."_

 _"No. I'm stuck back here now. You're in control and I'm trapped." He said, holding up his hands to show the chains. "The mind can't hold the two of us. You forfeited yourself, putting yourself back here but unconscious and out of the way. But I forced us to switch places… problem is that I **chose** my fate through an outside force and I don't get the luxury of being unconscious."_

 _"Well I can't just leave you back here."_

 _"This isn't a magic trick, Roy. You can't just make me reappear all over again." Chris said, looking away from him._

 _"We can try to coexist."_

 _"I'm not a separate personality like a split personality! I'm… I'm a person. I **was** a person. I… I don't know what I am anymore."_

 _Roy stood up and held out his hand._

 _"You're me and I'm you. You're a level of my subconscious I could never tap into. So, how about we work together? We can't 'meld' but I think we can make a better me and in turn, still have you. What do you say?"_

 _"How… how do we do that?"_

 _Roy laughed. "The hell I know. I just know that I think we can. It'll be weird but… let's share."_

 _Chris tentatively took Roy's hand._

* * *

 **looks like we may have a solution going on here. and did anyone catch what roy was talking about in regards to kimblee? if not i'll be definitive in the next chap about it.**

 **hope all this made sense. story is coming to a close!**


	30. Chapter 30

**the story is coming to a close! ah, almost done.**

 **it's hard when they're together now to make the distinction. you'll see what i mean.**

* * *

Roy was in the middle of signing documentation when the door opened. He looked up and frowned a little, sitting up straight.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Now, now, is that any way to treat a friend?"

"You tried to make me turn into a psychopath." Roy growled.

Kimblee grinned and sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"Whatever little person you were was just _so_ gullible. I mean, really… all I had to do was just give you a little playing room and you were all over me."

 _Let me at him! I'm not gullible! It's not **my** fault no one would help me out!_ Chris growled in Roy's head.

He made a face and looked up as if Chris were above him.

He turned his attention back to Kimblee.

"So then you knew who I was the whole time?"

"Yeah, of course I did. I was reverted back for a reason, ya know."

"What for?"

He shrugged. "Doesn't matter now. You fixed yourself and the doctor is… well, he's no longer needed."

Roy narrowed his eyes at him. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing; I could care less about 'dear old dad'." He said with a roll of his eyes. "I don't get how you could stand being like that. It was the most annoying thing I've ever experienced."

"I wasn't me."

"True… so… what happened to the runt?"

 _I'm gonna kick his ass. Let me have control. I want to kick his ass._

Roy slammed his hand on the desk suddenly, taking Kimblee by surprise.

* * *

 _"If you don't calm down, this will never work!" Roy yelled at Chris from behind him. "You need to calm down and let me do the talking. We agreed that I would stay in control most of the time unless it came to certain things. I know he's an asshole but he was like that before."_

 _"He manipulated me into thinking it was fun and okay to watch people die, Roy! He **used** me."_

 _"I understand you're upset but if I look at him with a blank expression for too long he will not tell us anything. Leave it to me. I'll protect you."_

 _Chris frowned._

* * *

"Stuck in your head, isn't he?" Kimblee said with a maniacal grin.

"He's not stuck anywhere. We are coexisting."

"How's that working for you, bucko?"

"It's complicated but I couldn't kill him off. He was –is- a person."

"So how does it all work up there in the old noggin? I mean, when I was reverted I was myself. I can't imagine having _two_ of me. I mean, I know the military doesn't like me but if I had been reprogrammed like Chris? I'd have to just kill myself to keep from going insane."

"You're already insane."

Kimblee shook his finger. "Not necessarily. Just because I enjoy the smell of charred flesh on a dusty blood ridden battlefield doesn't make me crazy."

"It makes you deranged."

"Exactly."

Roy leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms.

"Who got you out of jail and used you?"

"Mmm, can't tell you that, sorry. Although, if you really think about it, you've come in contact with them before."

Roy lifted an eyebrow at the word 'them'. Kimblee stood up and paced a little.

"My job was the make friends with you, get you to their side, taint you. I told them it would never work and I was surprised you warmed up to me so fast. Then again, what little I did hear about the issue seemed like a big ole clusterfuck so the fact that you weren't even you anymore probably had something to do with it."

"Chris was young and naïve, yes, but that didn't give you any right to use him like that."

"Oh, lighten up, Flame Boy. He's safe and sound inside your little brain and I can't touch him."

"That's right, you piece of shit!" Roy yelled, banging his hand on the desk.

Kimblee turned to him and smiled. "You must be Chris. How's it feel to control such a grown up body?"

"You used me and made everyone I love hate me! I almost lost my family because of you! You almost ruined my life."

Kimblee leaned on the other side of the desk to look into Roy's eyes.

"Kid, I could give a rat's ass about how your family treats you. My job was to taint you and make you like me so that the ones who helped me could take control of you and use you to their whim. That was all that was required of me and they didn't care how I did it."

"I think you've made your visit clear, Kimblee." Roy said, standing back up. "I apologize for that outburst. We're having trouble knowing our place."

"He's spunky."

"Something that will integrate in time… I hope…" he said, shaking his head a little. "In the mean time, is that all you came to do? Badger me?"

"Nah, I came to see how you were faring. Despite what you may think, it was fun having someone like me for a little bit. Someone who got me… I thought maybe I could grab a hold of that but it seems you've gone back to your Hero of Ishval phase, good ole Roy Mustang."

"I stopped being like you after the Ishvalan War. I realized what I had done."

"It made you boring."

"I'd rather be boring that be anything like you."

Kimblee sighed overdramatically. "I get it, I get it. The Crimson Alchemist is a psychopath who enjoys the blood of others and laddy da. It gets annoying hearing the same old thing all the time."

"What has the Fuhrer decided to do with you?"

"He said he's going to send me somewhere but technically I didn't escape from jail. You?"

"I'm to write a detailed report on what happened and then go through some remedial training. After that I'll return as a colonel again."

Kimblee nodded and then held out his hand. "Despite it all, you weren't the worst acquaintance I could have."

Roy didn't want to but he shook Kimblee's hand anyway.

"I can't say the same for you."

Kimblee just smiled and then left, putting a white fedora on his head.

 _I would have just burnt him to a crisp._

"This is why I need to stay in control. Don't you ever pull a stunt like that again."

 _Sorry… When are we going?_

"As soon as I finish this up. Fullmetal and Alphonse are coming too."

 _Can I take over with them? Please?_

"I'll tell them you said hello." He grumbled as he went back to his reports.

 _Roy…_

"I told you that when we get there, I will let you have control. Do you believe me? Have I lied to you since we made this agreement?"

 _No…_

"Then trust me. This is already hard to explain and hard to deal with on both of our parts. I won't interfere when we get there, I promise."

 _Okay… I'm going to just sit then._

And just like that, Chris seemed to fade from Roy's mind a little and he shook his head. He would never get over that. He honestly didn't think it would work out the way it was and it was hard to explain that Chris wasn't a personality, but a persona, a complete person that wasn't a split of his psyche. He honestly thought they would meld somehow in his mind but it seemed the separation of the two was too much and so they each kept their individuality.

* * *

Just as Roy finished up the reports, there was a small knock on the door. Roy told them to come in and he heard the door open and close. He looked up and blinked a little.

"Elysia."

"I wanted to apologize, Colonel Mustang, for my outburst and avoidance of you. It's rude and childish of me… considering some of this was my fault."

"None of this was your fault, by far."

"I told Chris that I didn't want him and that I would prefer you… but… that wasn't really true. He took it upon himself to think that everyone would rather have you back than deal with him. The truth, though, is that I miss him. He was my friend and… and I liked him. I liked him _a lot_."

Roy smiled at the desk. "You look just like your father right now."

Elysia smiled a little and he motioned for her to sit. She did and he folded his hands on the desk.

"What happened between me and Chris is… complicated. Fullmetal told me you found out about it?"

"Yeah… I accidentally came across one of the letters in regards to the serum."

"I know it must have been hard for you to see Chris but know it was me. To be honest, I know how you feel. When I 'woke up' –or whatever you want to call it- and I looked in the mirror and saw my body moving on its own, I didn't know what to do. I saw me but it wasn't me. I felt invaded, conquered… but he's not gone." Elysia's eyes brightened a little. "He's still in here. Things are going to be very weird for a while between us but I think in time, we could meld together a little."

Elysia smiled. "So Chris is still in there?"

"I couldn't leave him in the back of my subconscious. I'd rather kill this body than to have anyone undergo what I did inside of my own head."

"You're going to Dublith, aren't you? With the Elrics?"

"Yes, we leave on the train on the first departure."

"To see Mrs. Curtis?"

Roy nodded. "Yes."

"And… how…"

"Chris will have full control during that time. I wouldn't take this from him or from her. I'll stay in the background and watch this woman but I can already tell that she raised Chris right. Maybe one day even I'll call her mother as Colonel Roy Mustang."

Elysia smiled. "I think you would. You'd really like her."

Roy nodded and stretched, getting up.

"I need to turn this in and head to Fullmetal's home for the trip ahead. How's your mother?"

"She's doing well. She's actually on the dating scene again."

"Good for her. I know your father wouldn't have wanted her to stay sad for him for long."

"Colonel… What do you think my father would have done in this situation?"

Roy grinned at her. "Kid, I probably would have never been _in_ this situation if your father had been here. He'd have never let what happened happen." He touched under her chin. "And he'd be happy to see his daughter so active in the military, taking up her father's footsteps. He'd be _proud_ of you, Sergeant Hughes."

Elysia's eyes filled with tears as she wrapped her arms around Roy.

"Thank you."

He pat her head and touched her hair.

"You're welcome."

* * *

 _"Home?" Chris asked._

 _"Fullmetal said that he got a call from Mr. Curtis… apparently Mrs. Curtis isn't doing so well."_

 _Chris watched Roy with a confused look._

 _"What do you mean? I didn't hear anyone tell you that."_

 _"Does it really matter? The point is that she is the woman who raised you… raised **us**. From what memories you've shared with me, she loves you very much. I would hate to know that we could have seen her and something happen."_

 _Chris seemed very shaken and Roy knelt down to him, touching him softly on the shoulder._

 _"Don't worry. I'll be there with you every step of the way. If you can't handle it, I'll be right here… but it's time for you to take control."_

 _He pulled Chris up and then pushed him forward a little._

* * *

Chris jumped awake, scaring Edward.

"You alright, Colonel?"

Chris looked around in confusion and Edward frowned.

"Chris?"

"Uncle… Ed?" he asked, getting used to the older body and voice.

"I honestly didn't believe that he had figured out a way to keep you around."

Chris frowned. "Are you disappointed?"

"No, of course not. I'm happy he was able to do it… although now it seems more like two personalities."

"Well you know that I'm not."

"It's very hard to grasp…"

"Roy said that you got a call from Dad?"

Edward crossed his leg. "Yeah, not too long ago. He said that Teacher's condition was getting worse. He wasn't sure how long she'd last. It was right after she read in the paper that the Colonel had returned. He said she knew what happened and… well…"

"But I'm not gone! I'm _right here_."

"Teacher doesn't know that. The article didn't exactly print out what happened and how. All she saw was that the boy she raised turned back into the man she was to protect with no indication of if her child was still there. _That's_ why we're here."

"No one's blaming you, Chris." Alphonse said softly. "Teacher knew the problem when she took you in and it was in the back of her mind. I'm sure she just didn't think it would happen. And like Brother said, the article isn't going to tell everyone the processes that happened between you two. It's only going to say the good news: that Roy Mustang has returned."

Chris leaned back and looked out the window.

 _Are you upset?_ Roy asked.

"Worried." He mumbled.

 _It hasn't been that long since we were notified. Believe me, Chris, there's plenty of time._

Chris nodded and hoped for the best as they chugged along to Dublith.

* * *

 **i hope i explained the way they do things halfway decent. it's hard to keep them separate but not be split personality-ish... it's hard!**


	31. Chapter 31

**this is quite long but i think the results are good. only one more chap and then it's over!**

* * *

The train finally reached Dublith and Sig met them at the platform. Upon seeing Roy walk out, Chris could see his father breathe in deeply in trepidation. Chris was nervous as well. He was in a practically new body and he was dressed like someone else. He was who he used to be but also someone very different.

"Colonel Mustang, Edward, Alphonse." Sig greeted.

"Dad, it's me… it's Chris." He said softly.

Sig lifted an eyebrow and looked at Edward for clarity. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"What do you mean? You're Colonel Mustang, are you not?" Sig asked.

"Technically… Dad, really, it's me! I'm sorry I don't look the same anymore but… but Roy and I were able to fix the issue…" he faltered.

He could tell Sig didn't understand and he knew acting like his usual self in the body of a man who was in his early thirties looked rather disturbing. He put his hands behind his back and just looked away.

Sig looked at Edward.

"What's going on?"

"There's way too much to explain." Edward said, walking away. "It'd be easier to just tell everyone at the same time. Come on, Chris."

Chris walked behind them, looking at the ground.

 _I'm sorry… He looked at you like he didn't even know you._

"That's because he _doesn't_ know me… It's this body."

 _I wish I could help with that._

"It's your body, Roy… Let's just get this over with. You might have more control than you really wanted going forward, okay?"

Roy watched Chris from his place and felt really bad for the kid. He wanted to make it right somehow…

* * *

Sig parked the car and everyone got out to head to the house. Sig led them to Izumi's door but put his hand out in front of Chris.

"You wait here."

"Why?"

"I don't think it would be wise for her to see you right now. You can go wait in the kitchen."

Chris was heartbroken and Roy moved him out of the way.

"Do you mind?" he growled at Sig.

The big man only lifted an eyebrow. "What?"

" _I'm_ Roy. We're coexisting in this body. What kind of father just dismisses his kid?"

 _Roy! Stop it! Just… let's just go…_

Roy flared his nostrils and looked at Edward, who pushed his glasses up but didn't say anything else. He turned around and left.

Edward looked up at Sig.

"Why are you being so harsh?"

"I don't know how Izumi will take him. I can't even tell if he is who he says he is."

"Believe me it's a trip. Are you wanting us to try and soften the blow?"

"I think it would be best coming from you."

Alphonse sighed and they went in to see their teacher.

* * *

 _"Hey, kid, you can't do this to me." Roy growled, kneeling behind Chris._

 _"It's just like you said. The way he looked at me and the way he… Roy, I don't exist to them anymore!"_

 _"No! Listen to me!" he said, turning him to look at him. "Chris…"_

 _Chris looked at his hands and gasped, finding that he was thin, almost see-through._

 _"What… what's going on?"_

 _"You don't believe that you exist… you're making yourself disappear."_

 _Chris looked at his arm flicker for a second and Roy put his hands on his face._

 _"Chris, listen to me. This is all new for everyone involved and it's going to be very complicated from the beginning. We **can** work this out but you have to trust what I'm telling you. If you start to believe that you're nothing but an imaginary person, that's what you'll become. This isn't like it was before. In here, you're the information that makes up who you are and if you, the information, doesn't think you are who you are, you will be filtered out as unnecessary."_

 _"But… Roy, no one seems to care if I'm alive or not. No one wants me."_

 _Roy jerked a little at him thinning and then he grabbed onto him tightly._

 _" **I** want you here and **I** care if you're alive or not. And there's a woman in that room who cares about you too. She raised you from a baby as her own child, loving you and nurturing you. She would be completely devastated if she knew that coming so close to seeing you again, she lost you."_

 _"But that was **you**! All I ever was was a crappy version of YOU!"_

 _"You were never a crappy version of me, Chris." He pulled back and gave him a kind smile that even Chris couldn't try to say was fake. "You are a **better** version of me in every way. You are what I would have loved to have been… You're the better half of me. Please don't think that you're a half-rated or crappy version of anything… Please…"_

* * *

"Hey, are you available?" Edward said, pushing Roy.

Roy's eyes seemed to focus again and he turned to Edward.

"Fullmetal."

"You alright? What's going on?"

"Why?"

"I've been talking to you for five minutes."

"Chris is… fading." He said, looking down at the table. "With each passing dismissal of him, he feels like no one wants him and thus, he is making himself disappear."

Edward frowned. "Well that's not true."

"Tell that to a kid who feels like he's the shadow of a great man when he's _right_ …"

"Tell him that Teacher wants to see him."

 _She won't see **me**._

"I think you underestimate this woman…" Roy grumbled.

"What?"

"He says that she won't see him through me."

Edward crossed his arms and then suddenly stood rigid.

"Forgive me for what I am about to do, for this is for Chris."

He reared back his hand and smacked Roy across the face. Roy didn't do anything since he knew why he did it. Edward pointed at him and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm talking to you, Chris. Teacher is in there with not much time and she wants to see you. _You_ , you little shit." He pointed close to his face. "If you disappear I will find a way to find you and kill you myself. The world doesn't matter as long as your mother loves you… who the hell cares if everyone else likes you or wants you? That woman loves you from the bottom of her heart and if you just give up- Your mother is calling for you, Chris. Will you keep her waiting?"

* * *

 _Chris looked up as Roy stood there with his hands on his hips._

 _"You heard him. Will you keep that woman waiting for you to get yourself together? Come on, let's go." He said, holding out his hand._

* * *

Izumi coughed into her handkerchief and leaned back on the pillow. She wasn't going to last long, she knew it. Hearing about Roy's return just made things so much worse for her. She knew that he had to return someday but… she had hoped to say goodbye to Chris before that. There was a knock on the door and she told them to enter. The door opened and Roy stuck his head in. Izumi smiled a little.

"Colonel Mustang… it's nice to meet you for real."

"It's very nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Curtis."

Izumi smiled sadly. "Assuming by your tone… Chris is… gone?"

"He's having some problems feeling wanted."

Izumi's eyes widened. "He's still in there?"

"I thought we would meld." He said, sitting in the chair in front of her. "But it seems we were so far different from each other that we couldn't. So we coexist."

"I see… that must be quite hard with a teenager in your brain."

"Considering what I remember of myself being a teenager, Chris seems like a joy…" Izumi smiled as Roy looked at her seriously. "He's fading, Mrs. Curtis. He believes no one wants him."

"How preposterous is that child?" she growled.

Roy grinned. "Edward did well to pick you to raise him."

Izumi coughed again into her handkerchief hard and Roy faltered to try and help her. She shook her head for him not to help and he put his hands back in his lap. She finished recovering and laid back a little.

"He needs you, Mrs. Curtis. I know it will be strange to talk to me as if I were your son but I can't just watch him fade away like a sad memory."

"Right… What do I say?"

"Talk to me as if he had come home…"

Izumi sighed a little.

"I should kill you, you little shit."

Roy smirked. "Why is that?"

"Just for the fact of going into the army with that gung-ho attitude. You almost got yourself kicked out and then killed? I should have gone up there and knocked some sense into you."

"If not for me then we wouldn't have won the fight."

"There are a lot of things that wouldn't have happened if not for you."

"Very true."

Izumi watched Roy for a moment.

"Where were you all that time? What was it like for you?"

"I was… in limbo. Asleep, I guess. It was like I was knocked to the wayside. When I woke up, I realized that something was wrong and my body was being controlled without me and when I looked at myself in the mirror, I didn't see me. I saw… someone else. It was all very strange."

"He had times where it seemed as if you were trying to break through. He'd have these horrible seizures and sometimes he'd even revert back to you. Did you feel that?"

"I don't remember anything than when I woke up. Our minds were probably trying to meld like they should have done."

Izumi nodded and reached out to touch his hand but hesitated. Roy closed the gap between them.

"I know this must be very difficult for you." He said.

"It's always been difficult but none of this would have happened if I had just done it right. You two would have melded together properly and things would have gone so much smoother."

Roy put his other hand on Izumi's.

"Then you wouldn't have had a son all your own."

Izumi's eyes began to water a little as she reached up to touch Roy's face.

"I… I hate… I wish I could see my son. I want to speak to him."

* * *

 _Roy turned to where Chris was but found that he was huddled in the back of his mind, shivering and looking more like an apparition than in solid form. He walked over to him and knelt in front of him._

 _"Chris, your mother is calling for you."_

 _"She doesn't want me."_

 _"If you'd come out, you'd see how untrue that really is."_

 _"If I stay back here then you can just have your body back. I'm causing too much trouble and… I just…"_

 _"If you want to disappear then do it when your mother isn't looking at me with tears in her eyes begging for her son to see her through a man she barely knows."_

 _"That's the **point** , Roy! I'm not even me anymore! I'm just you… I'm just an offshoot of you and no one will know the difference!"_

 _"Your mother will. I guarantee you that one thing. I can try to promise a lot but I will guarantee you that your mother will know it's you. If you are so determined to go away then do us all a favor and at least say goodbye to your fucking mother."_

 _Chris was silent for a second when he finally lifted his hand up and Roy took it, pulling him up from the floor._

* * *

Izumi saw the change in his eyes and the demeanor change altogether. She knew her son was there. He looked at her and she smiled.

"My baby."

"Mom…"

He hugged her tightly as she wrapped her arms as well as she could around his slightly larger frame.

"I'm sorry I look like this! I just… I just wanted everyone to be happy and no one wanted me around… and… I'm sorry! I'm _so_ sorry…"

Izumi rubbed his back softly to comfort him as he sobbed on her shoulder. He apologized profusely for not coming back the way he left, being stuck in Roy's mind. Once he finally calmed down, he pulled back and Izumi touched his face.

"Chris, look at me." He moved his eyes to her. "You will always be my son, no matter where you are. If you meld with Colonel Mustang, you will still be my son. If you come out every once in a while, you will _still_ be my son. If you want to fade away, Chris, do it when I'm gone."

He nodded. "Okay."

"I think the Colonel might be done with your angst party."

Chris laughed and wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry…"

 _I think that's the most I've ever cried in my life._ Roy said.

"You should be sorried out…"

"Are you really okay, Mom?" he asked in sincerity.

"I'm worse than I was but... I'll live for another day."

"Roy said that the phone call sounded urgent."

"I took a bad turn. Don't worry though. I have a long life ahead."

"You're lying."

Izumi rolled her eyes. "Never can get past you… It won't be for a while before it'll take its toll but not as long as we hoped it'll be."

"I should stay with you."

"You have a lot of things to do in Central, son. You're coexisting with a very important member of the military. Why do you think all this trouble started?"

"Right…"

"I think you may have exhausted your stay. I love you, Chris. Don't you dare fade away from me again."

He smiled. "Yes, Mom." He leaned over and kissed her cheek.

As he stood up, Roy took back over and she smiled.

"Welcome back, Colonel."

"Likewise. I'll take my leave, Mrs. Curtis."

He leaned over and kissed her cheek as well, catching them both off-guard. Roy looked embarrassed as he stood back up and Izumi smiled.

"Well, I guess some things _have_ rubbed off."

"So it would seem." he said with a nervous chuckle.

* * *

 **so this is a little different than before. before when mustang forfeited, he didn't feel himself unworthy or unwanted, he just realized that maybe chris was for the best. he forfeited his body and was willing to be chained in the back of his mind (so to speak) so that chris could live. chris, on the other hand, is starting to truly believe that no one wants him to exist in a broader spectrum and in turn believes himself that he shouldn't exist. because of that, he is beginning to fade. since he is also the second persona inhabiting the body, he's not needed if he doubts himself and forces himself to die so to speak. killing himself of his own volition by fading away is not the same as forfeiting.**

 **that sounded pretty right...**


	32. Chapter 32

**i don't know why keep spelling elicia's name in all sorts of ways. i'm sorry about that.**

 **and we got some feels down there at the bottom... forewarning.**

 **ps: i think this would happen to elicia just because alphonse is so friggin nice. you'll see.**

* * *

 **1 YEAR LATER**

Sig entered the hospital room and sat next to Izumi. She turned to him and smiled softly. He took her hand in his and covered it over.

"Everything will be fine." He said to her.

She squeezed his hand as best as she could.

"My big, strong husband…"

"I called Central to let everyone know. Edward said that they would be making their way down here soon. I hope they make it."

Izumi nodded, wondering what's been going on with them since they had last been with her. She knew she was fading fast.

* * *

Riza knocked on the door and Roy looked up. She gave him a confused look.

"What is it?"

"Chris has been very quiet for the past few months. He won't respond to me. He sits with his back turned to me in my head and it's like he doesn't hear me… then Fullmetal came in and said that Iz- Mrs. Curtis is in the hospital and he didn't even budge…"

"Do you think he's ignoring you?"

"No… I don't know what to think. I mean, I just hope I didn't kill him."

"Is there any way to get him to respond to you?"

"I've tried everything I can… Mrs. Curtis is going to want to see her son, not me."

Riza thought for a moment and sat in the chair in front of his desk.

"Maybe having _you_ acknowledge her as your mother would be better than channeling Chris through your body. Maybe Chris isn't necessarily ignoring you or trying to fade away but… maybe he's tired."

"Tired? Of what?"

"His life wasn't all roses and sunshine. People never treating him like an individual, always knowing that you were him in the back of their minds… The only one who didn't was his mother but maybe he's tired of having to go through channels just to be with her. Have you asked if maybe he wants to try truly melding with you?"

"I don't know how to do that. That's what I was trying to do in the first place."

"Maybe in his silence he's found a way."

Roy suddenly felt as if he were being watched and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Did you find a way?" he asked softly.

 _Yeah._ he heard for the first time in months.

He nodded a little and looked at Riza. Ever since he returned to himself he still couldn't get over how much older she looked and that she was no longer his subordinate, but a colonel just like himself. Having her on equal grounds was hard but he liked it every once in a while.

"Will you come with me to Dublith?"

"I have my own men to deal with, sir."

"You need a break, Riza."

"If I take breaks then I'll end up like you."

He smiled. "Dashingly good looking?"

"You're funny. Besides, Edward and Alphonse will be going."

"But Fullmetal is bringing Winry and Mace. I don't want to be in a boxcar will all of that."

"What's wrong with my family?"

Roy and Riza looked over at the door as Edward stood in it with a frown. Roy frowned too.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, it's weird when I'm there with you guys."

"We don't mind and Mace likes you for some reason. If you got married then maybe you wouldn't be so awkward."

"It's… complicated." He said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Besides, Elysia invited herself to come along and Al would like someone to distract him." He said with a smirk.

Roy smiled. Elysia suddenly developed a crush on Alphonse during the year and was having a hard time controlling herself. Alphonse tried to hide from her as much as possible but it was hard when he was now under is brother, who just so happened to be Elysia's superior officer as well.

"Anyway, you don't have to share the same car with us, ya know? You can always find other seats. As long as everyone is there it doesn't matter."

The door opened and Alphonse walked in.

"Yes, Colonel, I hear this _is_ a very _important_ meeting that we're having. _No one else_ is invited to such a meeting regarding a _delicate_ subject! I'll make sure _no one else_ comes in!"

He shut the door behind him and then practically melted to the floor. Edward smirked at him.

"Exhausting, huh?" Roy said with a smirk from the desk.

Alphonse looked up from the floor with a pleading look.

" _Please_ take me under your command, Colonel Mustang… or take me back under you, Colonel Hawkeye! Just get me away from her."

"She's just a kid; she'll grow out of it. One day she'll realize that the Gunmetal Unicorn Alchemist is just as silly as his name." Edward said whimsically.

"You're too nice, Alphonse." Riza said bluntly.

"But I can't just be mean to her. I've tried setting ground rules but she just doesn't listen."

"If you can convince the Colonel to come with us to Dublith then I'll distract her while you go get tickets to another boxcar."

Alphonse's eyes lit up and he looked at Roy.

"Oh, please, Colonel. I'll do whatever you want me to as long as you just get me away from her."

He thumbed at Riza. "Convince her to go and I'm your man."

Riza lifted an eyebrow. "This seems to have become a circle of ultimatums."

"How about we draw straws then?"

"What will that do?"

"Between the three of you. Whoever draws the shortest straw has to do what was asked of them. In Alphonse's case, he will just have to ride in our boxcar with no questions asked."

"Fine…"

Edward rearranged some paper in his hand with his back turned and then turned back to everyone.

"Alright, pick a straw."

Everyone drew straws and Riza frowned at hers.

"Great…" she said stoically.

"Excellent." Roy turned to Alphonse. "Since Hawkeye will now be coming with us, I'll help you get seats for our boxcar."

Alphonse hugged him. "Thank you so much!"

* * *

 _Roy sat next to Chris and crossed his legs._

 _"You and I need to have a talk."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Was Riza right? Have you known how to meld us together for a while now?"_

 _"I was just thinking about it one day when I was back here and I realized what's been missing with the issue."_

 _"And what's that?"_

 _"Sacrifice… Neither of us really wanted to sacrifice ourselves, so that's why we're stuck in this weird rotating thing where you have most of the spotlight."_

 _"I'm not meaning to."_

 _"You have a lot of responsibilities that I don't understand, so why apologize? What use would I be to the military right now? The point is that in order for us to meld together, we have to be willing to give up ourselves entirely." He turned to Roy. "There's nothing for me in the real world anymore… only my mom and… from what I've heard, it looks like soon I won't have that either. So…"_

 _"I see…"_

 _"Not to toot my own horn, but I think I might be a good addition to you." He said with tears in his eyes._

 _"I told you that you were better than me and I meant it. You are a combination of good things that I should have been all along."_

 _"This was what was supposed to happen anyway though; you were supposed to have these qualities to make you a better person when you returned to your regular age. Instead, everyone made **me**. I've decided not to be mad anymore or upset since I was a mistake. **I** should have never been because it was supposed to always be just **you**."_

 _"I'm so sorry, Chris. I never wanted this to happen."_

 _"I know and Uncle Ed was very kind to me about the issue. He knew too and always tried to keep me safe. I know why he did the things he did, because he knew that it wasn't my fault that I was created. That's why in that last letter he wrote to Mom he said that it was our choice, **my** choice, to fight for this body. I fought for a while but… I realize now that I was fighting for the wrong thing. I was fighting for the right to control this body, this mind. I wanted it so that I could protect the things I loved, be with the people I loved, fight for the things I felt strongly about. But you do too… and it seems that our goals are the same, our people are the same. So instead, I should help you fulfill these goals but in a much better way."_

 _"I see."_

 _Chris stood up and Roy followed after him as he looked up at Roy and smiled._

 _"Thank you for letting me stay here and treating me as if I really were a person. Anyone else may have just dominated me, but you really cared about me and about what I cared about. So I just have one request."_

 _"What's that?" Roy asked, his throat dry._

 _"Love my mom." His eyes could no longer hold his tears. "Please love her like I do. It would make her so happy."_

 _Roy held out his arms. "If you love her as much as I know you do, I don't think I will have a problem carrying that over."_

 _Chris laughed and jumped into his arms._

* * *

Roy woke up in the boxcar and felt tears running down his face. Alphonse looked up from a book and turned his head.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm… fine… I think." He looked at his hands and then at Al. "Alphonse…"

"Hmm?"

"Just… Alphonse… I feel that maybe we were closer."

Al closed his book and went to sit by him.

"Colonel, where's Chris?"

Roy's eyes widened and he started crying again.

"I'm him and he's me. We're one in the same now. He, as himself, is gone. It's just… me…"

Alphonse knew it would be very confusing for him and rubbed his back gently as he sobbed for a few minutes. Chris had always been slightly emotional but it made Colonel Mustang seem more genuine.

"I'm sorry. I just… I can't seem to get it together."

"I'm sure it's very frustrating and confusing. It was like that for me too when I realized that I didn't have a body anymore. Learning to adapt to things I wanted to do but couldn't was hard, but I got used to it. Then when I got my body back, all the things I had forgotten about came back to me. I could eat, I could touch, I could _feel_. Just knowing that I wasn't empty anymore was so much to understand. Knowing that when I was sad and I felt like crying, I _could_ cry. I wasn't a soul attached to armor anymore but I wasn't a body waiting for my soul to return. I was torn in two, waiting for myself… I could sometimes see myself sitting in the Gate, waiting…

"So I understand how it feels to be torn apart and put back together. It's a new sensation but however it happened with you, it will be for the better. Chris was a good kid and now he's given those qualities to you, Colonel, to make you an even _better_ colonel. Use what he's given to you to make you greater than what you are now and ever were."

Roy nodded, drying his tears and breathed in deeply.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

Alphonse moved back to his seat and Roy looked out the window. He looked back at Al.

"Al?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think she'll know?"

"Teacher?" He nodded. "She's a mother, so of course."

"… Do you think she'd be okay with me?"

"I think she'll understand. How things go is up to you."

Roy nodded and breathed in again. _This is going to be complicated._

* * *

Everyone went to the hospital as Roy stood outside of the door with Riza. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"I hear you are one now."

"Yeah…"

"How does it feel?"

Roy chuckled a little. "Lonely."

"Whatever may come will be for the better."

"I know; he was a better me."

"And now you are a better you."

The door opened and Alphonse walked out with Winry and Mace. Mace grinned at Roy and waved to him. Alphonse thumbed to the door.

"I'd get in there." He said softly.

Roy nodded and Riza got on her toes, kissing his cheek.

"Everything will be fine."

He nodded and opened the door.

* * *

Izumi knew he was gone as soon as she saw Roy walk through the door. Chris was gone. But there was something different about Roy and he closed the door behind him. She smiled at him.

"Thank you for coming, Colonel Mustang."

He nodded stiffly, but didn't say a word. Edward crossed his arms at the foot of the bed and Izumi motioned for them to come to her. Edward traveled up one side of the bed as Roy did the other. She grabbed both of their hands and held them.

"My boys… I remember when you were little and you and your brother asked me to take you on as apprentices." She said to Edward. "You were so stupid looking with those determined faces like old men in the bodies of little boys. But I could see potential in you both and although you messed up, you fixed it and became good men." She turned to Roy. "And I remember when they gave you to me and told me what was supposed to be done. I held you and thought I could be obedient… but when you called me 'Mommy' and I couldn't let you go. I know it's not the same but… I just couldn't let you go."

Edward kissed her fingers and stood up.

"I'll be back."

He left and it was just Roy and Izumi.

"You didn't have to come if you didn't want to, Colonel. You don't owe-"

Roy grabbed a hold of her and held her as gently as he could. Izumi was surprised when she felt it…

"My baby…" she said softly, hugging Roy as tightly as she could.

"I know it's not much and I'm not exactly what you wanted, but just for a little while, do you think you could accept me?"

"I told you that I would take you however you were given to me."

"Even like this?"

"Even like this… You'll always be my son."

"And you'll always be my mother."

Izumi began to cry and she pulled back from him, touching is face gently.

"I guess I'll have to get used to calling you Roy." He laughed a little and she searched his features. "I still see him in you because this is what he would have looked like anyway…"

She breathed in and wiped away her tears as Roy sat back down and did the same.

"I haven't even died yet."

They both laughed as Roy took her hand into his again and smiled at her.

"Thank you for raising me. I would have chosen no less than you."

"Thank you for giving me a reason to keep going. I don't think I would have lasted this long if not for your bad choices in life." He chuckled. "It was a joy to raise you, Roy."

"Thank you for helping me move forward, Mom."

The door opened and a nursed walked in, prompting Roy to leave.

As he left he felt that things were going to be very different now. Losing Izumi wasn't going to be just a sad occasion now. He knew he would practically die with her and he could hear Chris' last request echo in his ears.

* * *

 _"Please love her like I do. It would make her so happy."_

 _"If you love her as much as I know you do, I don't think I will have a problem carrying that over."_

* * *

 **and... scene...**

 **that's a wrap for this story guys. god that was sad even for me! i like doing happy/sad endings cuz i don't get to do them often enough.**

 **in essence though, the whole thing was that it was in chris' hands on whether to meld or not, not roy's. in the end, once he finally got all the pieces of that clusterfuck together in is own head, he realized that they WERE one in the same and he wouldn't die, but live through roy because he WAS roy. so confusing T_T**

 **anyway, thank you everyone who enjoyed and commented on this. if not for your support i would never get these stories finished. this story may be over but i'm never finished. there's always something going on with these guys. and if you haven't checked out the first story to this called BACKWARDS, it may help explain some things if you only started here.**

 **anyhow, thanks a bunch and see you at the next story!**


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